Loom
by Minna Dee
Summary: Raven thought she was done living under the shadow of Trigon, but when a cult dedicated to her father arrives in Jump she will find her life forever altered by their insidious plot and hopelessly entangled with the fate of one of her team mates.
1. Cloak and Dagger

1)

Cloak and Dagger

Raven knew she was dreaming. Usually such awareness made it possible to alter her dream or awaken from it completely. She was barefoot, walking down a hallway. The walls were adorned in ugly wallpaper, large pastel flowers stark and random against two tone brown stripes. There was carpet under her feet, tan and thread bare. She noticed with only mild concern that she was leaving bloody footprints as she walked. There was a doorway before her now with a beaded, wooden curtain and as she pushed past it she couldn't help but grimace at the outdated décor. She wasn't in a room once she stepped past the doorway though. She was outside. She seemed unconcerned with this and kept walking. She had to lay down. There, seeming to grow out of the thick undergrowth was a wooden alter. Yes, she had been looking for this. She sat on the surprisingly warm wood. It seemed nearly alive. Raven leaned back until she was laying on the smooth wood, looking up at a surprisingly thick canopy of trees. This was more than a forest, it was a jungle. Birds twittered in the treetops and she saw them take flight. One broke away from the flock. It landed lightly on her big toe, it's tiny head cocking in interest. Raven studied the diminutive green bird for just a moment then looked away, her eyes focusing on the blood that was pooling on the wood. Was she bleeding?

"Blood is life," she told the tiny bird, that wasn't a bird anymore.

"I'm sorry it had to be this way," Beastboy told her with a frown, sitting on the edge of the alter, his back to her.

"It never could have been any other way."

"Blood is life," he agreed, nodding.

"Blood is death," she muttered, dipping her fingers in the growing pool of crimson.

"Everything bleeds. Don't be afraid." He touched her blood now too, pulling his index finger through it to draw some strange symbol upon the wood. He was whispering words in some strange language. Was he praying or casting a spell? Was there really a difference? The thoughts were fleeting. Her chest felt heavy, breathing becoming more difficult. Beastboy stopped his strange words and produced a dagger. Ornate and silver it glistened in the sun. The changeling took her hand, squeezing the handle into her flesh until she gripped it. "I would do it for you if I could Rae . . . you know I would."

"I know." The metal was so cold in her hand. "Tell me again, tell me why."

"When they died I was a raven. It means something, all those strands are tied together. In all our lives those little strands . . . they tie together. They died and you'll live. It all balances out."

"I'm a portal," Raven told him with a fearful gasp, but he smiled and shook his head.

"No . . . never. You're an artist."

"I can't alone." She couldn't even lift her hand and that heavy knife now.

"You aren't alone." His hand closed over hers. "I would take it from you if I could Raven. I would suffer it."

"I know, I know." She watched as together their hands lifted, the dagger once again glinting in the sun. Together they plunged the sharp steel deep into her stomach.

* * *

Raven awoke with a loud gasp, her hands moving to clutch at her middle. She took several, gulping breathes and forced herself to calm down. It was just a dream. Just a bad dream. Never mind that she had been having it for three weeks straight. It was just a product of stress, a way for her unconscious mind to exercise some pent up anxiety. She hadn't been feeling particularly worried about anything, but that didn't mean that her subconscious wasn't trying to work through something. She pushed her sheets aside and stood. Quietly she walked to the heavy curtains over her window and pushed them aside. The sun was just beginning to rise. It was time to wake up anyway. She would meditate for a couple hours while the Tower was still asleep and she would feel better. It was just a dream after all.

Thankfully the morning and afternoon were quiet and free from disturbances. Even inside the Tower it was still. Cyborg was in the garage, ever perfecting his car. Robin spent hours hunched over a computer screen, researching Azar knew what. Starfire seemed content to sit near him, occasionally looking over his shoulder. And Beastboy was reading. It would have seemed strange, but the fact that his reading material was a graphic novel certainly helped soften the oddity of it. Raven herself sat on the farthest side of the room, pretending to read. At first she had been honestly trying to read, but had found it impossible. The one day it was quiet and she couldn't concentrate. There was a feeling of . . . wrongness that wouldn't leave her alone. She'd been having deja-vue all day, which certainly didn't help. The feeling crept up her spine more and more often as the day wore on. She felt her shoulders tense a second before Robin sneezed. Her head turned his direction a moment before Beastboy asked her if she would split a cheese pizza with him if he paid for it.

"What are you researching Robin?" she asked instead of answering the changeling, just to break the chain of events that felt too familiar.

"A few small scale robberies. They seem . . . connected. The odd thing about them is . . . whoever commits them never steals very much. They leave money or valuables behind every time."

"Some people steal because they feel like they got to. To survive, you know." Beastboy said, sitting his overgrown comic aside. "What about that pizza Raven?"

"That's true and I'm nearly tempted to agree with you. Still, it feels like something more." Robin sighed, leaning back from the screen.

"I think Friend Beastboy is correct." Starfire added, leaning in close to the screen once Robin had leaned back. "All the robberies are in the same hood of neighbors. The thieves only take a little of what they could. They steal to purchase necessity. Food and mustard drink perhaps."

"Seriously, if I get a pizza will you have some?" Beastboy asked a bit louder. When Raven didn't respond he stalked closer to the others. "It's sorta rude to just ignore me."

"Can't you eat an entire pizza by yourself Beastboy?" Raven responded evenly.

"I could . . . but you haven't eat all day and I thought it'd be nice to offer. I figured you gotta be hungry."

"No." Raven both liked and loathed the fact that the green boy kept track of such things. It wasn't any of his business when and what she ate. Still, there was something nice about having him care enough to notice.

"Fine. More for me then." He smiled, his shoulders lifting in a shrug. She could feel his concern though. He couldn't honestly think she didn't know the truth. Perhaps the lie was more for his own benefit, a part of her provided.

"I'll split a pizza with you, Beastboy." Robin told him as he pushed away from the computer.

"No way, Man. You've got Bruce Wayne money, buy your own pizza."

"I thought you wanted someone to . . ." Robin began only to have the changeling cut him off.

"I've decided I'm hungrier than I first thought. Animal metabolism and all." Raven closed her eyes for a moment, the feeling of familiarity flitting over her awareness again. Maybe she should say something.

 _Like what?_ Some part of her psyche laughed. _You're having crazy nightmares and now everything feels too familiar today?_ Maybe she couldn't say that, but she should say something. She opened her mouth to speak, but an alarm blared before she had a chance to utter the first syllable. Robin made a sound that was nearly a laugh.

"Speak of the devil. It's our "necessity" thief again. If nothing else we can get them the help they need."

* * *

"Please, please!" A beraggled woman wept, throwing the sixty-five dollars she had stolen down at Robin's feet, backing away. "I just . . . please . . . I'm so hungry!" She was thin and frail, her large eyes ringed with dark circles. Her brown hair was matted and it was clear it had not been washed in days.

"It's okay, we won't hurt you." The boy in the cape assured her.

"We can help." The mechanical man agreed, smiling sadly. "There's a shelter not too far from here. They'll feed you, get you a warm place to sleep."

"Yes, yes . . . I'm so tired. And I . . ." She trailed off, watery blue eyes filling with honest tears as a blue cowled figure landed lightly. She pushed the hood down and the woman made a strange sound that hung somewhere between a moan and a sob. "You are . . . magnificent." The woman looked like she might fall for a moment, but she steadied herself on the side of the nearest building. "I knew . . . I knew you would be." She was clutching at the collar of her tattered coat, almost as if it was strangling her.

"Ma'am . . ." Cyborg began, moving a step closer.

"The only begotten daughter of Trigon." And suddenly the woman lunged forward. A glittering, thick handled dagger was clutched tight in her hand. Instantly Cyborg fell back in front of Raven, ready to deflect the blade. Either her aim was very poor or she wasn't aiming for the empath at all. The blade moved in a sweeping arch, catching Beastboy high on the right arm. The blade bit into his skin, blood rolling down to darken his uniform. He snarled and she laughed, tossing the blade over her shoulder and falling to her knees. The act was confusing for only a second. Everywhere down the previously deserted street people appeared. First twenty, then fifty, then somewhere closer to a hundred. Nearly a hundred men and women stood shoulder to shoulder. A hundred ordinary looking people that would have seemed completely at home milling about the local shopping center. The only thing of note was that each had a high powered rifle slung over their right shoulder. A woman trotted eagerly over to the discarded dagger and picked it up. Atop her head she wore a crown of thinly woven branches, small antlers on either side just above her ears.

"Daughter of Trigon. You may come to me now and save the city from our righteous fury. Or we can pursue you. We can kill your friends and anyone else we happen upon in that pursuit." At that moment the evening air exploded with the sound of a hundred guns being cocked into a ready position. "The choice is completely your own."

"We'll fight!" Robin declared, but Raven shook her head.

"No! We can't have a hundred weapons firing just one street over from a residential neighborhood. Too many innocent people will get hurt."

"But . . . you can't just . . . go with them." Beastboy insisted, holding his left hand firmly over his wound.

"I agree!" Starfire huffed, lifting off the ground. "We will fight them Friend Raven. We will not let them take you."

"I'm not going to take her anywhere. I just want a word." The leader of this strange group said with a shrug. "Just a couple words and you can have her back."

"This don't sit with me," Cyborg said loudly.

"There isn't any choice." Raven steadied herself, finding her center. She refused to be afraid. She wouldn't be afraid. Shoulders squared she walked toward the horned woman, her followers shifting out of her way as she approached. The horned woman was whispering, glancing down at her dagger like it was the most precious thing she'd ever held in her hand. Raven stopped just a few paces away from her and she smiled, whispered to her blade for a moment more, and then stepped forward.

"This is an honor. Of all the faithful followers I am blessed to be standing here with you. Face to face."

"Who do you follow?"

"A silly question deserves an equally nonsensical answer." The horned woman's red lips twisted into a smirk.

"What do you want?" Raven demanded and that smirk twisted higher.

"I have a gift for you." Lightning fast she moved and before Raven could react the dagger plunged deep into her. Just below her navel the handle bobbed for a moment before the horned woman reach out and jerked it back out. "You're welcome," she crooned as the empath crumpled to the ground. "No guns." The woman was telling someone loudly. "Don't let them take her yet though. Not until it's too late."

* * *

She couldn't heal herself. Why couldn't she heal herself? Raven lay curled on the pavement, listening to her friends' shouts as they fought to get closer to her. Blood was oozing out onto her hands, passing through her fingers to wet the road beneath her. She tried to focus, but still could not heal the wound. The horned woman had been whispering as she had approached. She'd cast a spell on the dagger. She'd cast a spell so Raven couldn't heal herself. She was simply going to lay there and bleed to death. The moment she had all but resigned herself to such a fate, a deafening roar sounded just above her. She forced her eyes open and could see two great, green paws on either side of her head. There was blood on it's claws. A moment later they were gloved hands, roughly picking her up. Raven gasped and shuddered at the pain the movement caused.

"You're gonna be okay Rae. It's okay." It was ridiculous to say it. He didn't even believe it. She could feel the doubt. The fear. "Just have to get you home. That's all. We just have to get home." Her eyes closed, too heavy to hold open. Beastboy had begun to scream. She felt frustration and anger explode from him. They weren't letting him leave. She could hear the guns cocking again and she tried to focus enough to tell him it was probably a hollow threat. The horned woman, the leader, had said not to use their guns. But she had also said not to let anyone save her. Which command was more important? She couldn't think clearly enough to begin to guess. She was being shifted around and it hurt. There was nothing but horrible, burning pain for a moment. She wanted to tell him to put her down. All he was doing was tormenting her. He couldn't save her. Then she realized she was on the ground. She could feel the cool, rough concrete under her bottom. His arms were still around her though, still holding her to him. He was clutching and pushing his hand into her wound and if she'd had even an ounce of strength she would have probably killed him.

"St-s-stop." She managed to breathe.

"Have to get the bleeding stopped. Can't you . . . heal yourself?"

"Nnnn." It was the best she could manage. Of course she couldn't heal herself. She would have done it already if it was an option. He asked such stupid questions sometimes.

"Okay. That's okay. We . . . we're going to . . ." He trailed off and she heard him swallow loudly. He began to speak again. It wasn't English. It seemed to be the same language from her dream. He stopped mid word . . . she was pretty sure of that. Almost if he hadn't realized he'd reverted to some comfortable dialect in an unconscious attempt at soothing himself. He was speaking English again. Speaking it quiet and quick against her ear. Telling her secrets. Telling her every secret he'd ever had. Perhaps he thought she'd find these things interesting enough to fight death a little longer just to hear them. Faster and faster he spoke, the sound betraying his panic. Backwards he worked until he was at the beginning, murmuring his first regret into her ear. " . . . and I just sat there in the tree. I . . . I watched them die. I was a raven and I . . . when I met you, I thought that meant something. Like it had circled 'round. Like it all . . . tied together." It was the last thing she heard. Welcomed, painless unconsciousness had claimed her at last.


	2. Cult of Trigon

2)

Cult of Trigon

She was on that strangely warm, wooden alter again. Was this what death was? Just an inescapable dream? There was still pain. A violent, clutching pain that felt like two giant hands wringing her like a damp wash cloth. She could taste blood and she parted lips that felt too dry in an attempt to speak. Her eyes opened to stare up at the tree canopy, hearing some strange animal sound somewhere above her. She couldn't place it. It was a bird perhaps. Suddenly a face entered her field of vision, two large green eyes staring down at her.

"Why out here?" Beastboy asked her, placing blood soaked fingers on her face, lightly touching her temples.

"I always thought I'd die outside," she admitted in a soft mutter.

"Look," he insisted, holding out his blood dampened hands. "They all bleed Raven. From the biggest to the smallest. You don't have to be afraid."

"Don't let it touch the ground." She was watching as little bloody droplets rolled down the side of the wooden alter, dripping onto the ground below.

"The rain will wash it away." He smiled sadly down at her. "When it rains it really, really rains."

"It can't touch the ground. I'm a portal."

"It's diluted," he reassured her. He was touching the wound on her stomach and pain flared insistently again. "Ni nzuri. Ni kila kitu."

"Please!" The pain was unbearable.

"I would suffer it if I could Rae." He was pressing and the pain grew. Harder he pressed. Higher the pain spiraled. How could it hurt more? "Basi ni mwisho. Hebu usingizi wake."

* * *

Deep amethyst eyes opened slowly, her vision blurry. The pain from her dream faded and Raven blinked, trying to banish the confusion from her mind. Had it all been another dream? It only took a moment to decide it couldn't have all been a nightmare. She was laying on a thin plastic hospital bed in the medical bay in the Tower. She grunted, turning her head slowly toward the beeping monitor beside her. She wrapped her hand around the IV tube in her arm and was about to yank it free.

"Nu-uh . . . hang on just a minute." Cyborg insisted, appearing from the doorway. He came around her bed, carefully removing the tube from her arm.

"I was stabbed." She wasn't exactly asking a question, but she wasn't completely sure it had happened either.

"Boy were you ever! I don't think I've ever seen so much dang blood."

"How did you save me?"

"You saved yourself Raven. By the time we got past the legion of maniacs you were unconscious, but doing a pretty good job of healing the wound."

"I . . . I remember trying to heal myself and I couldn't." Carefully she sat up, her lips feeling uncomfortably dry.

"I don't know what to tell you. Like I said, by the time the rest of us got to you and BB, you were pretty much patched up. Poor kid was pretty damn sure you were a goner though. He was a mess. He . . . he actually wouldn't let me take you from him at first. The little booger tried to bite me." Cyborg chuckled and shook his head. It didn't seem particularly funny to Raven. The idea that anyone . . . . even Beastboy, had been so traumatized that he was blinding fighting against the very help he needed was awful.

"How long was I unconscious?" The empath asked, pushing the question of how Beastboy was doing aside for a moment.

"Almost thirty-two hours."

"Is everyone else alright?"

"Yeah, fine. We were all a little banged and bruised. And Beastboy needed some stitches for his arm of course."

"And the people that attacked us?"

"Most ran off. We caught a few . . . hoping to get some answers to who they are but . . ." Cyborg sighed, frowning slightly. "They killed themselves. Bit into cyanide pills. All but one. But she hasn't been any help."

"I'll talk to her." Raven said with the faintest hint of malice in her voice.

"I don't think that's a very good idea Raven." Robin had appeared in the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest. "You need some time to recover."

"I'm fine."

"What happened was traumatic and . . ."

"I said I'm fine." The glass beakers that sat on a counter to her right were popping loudly, bursting like balloons.

"That isn't fine." Robin told her softly. "We can handle it for now. Take a little time and if our witness is still being uncooperative you can interrogate her."

"Whatever that woman is a part of is very big Robin. We don't have time to waste."

"I'm only asking for a couple days. Just take some time to . . ."

"It's already been a couple days!" The heart monitor beside the cot exploded, a cascading arch of sparks dancing brightly for a moment. "We need to know what's happening right now."

"One day then, okay? One day to mediate and whatever else you need to do to face her without . . . problems. It's been hard enough trying to keep the woman alive. I've had to pull Beastboy off of her . . . twice."

"Twelve hours," Raven countered calmly. Nothing exploded and Robin nodded reluctantly.

* * *

Raven was not surprised to find the door to the interrogation room opened a crack, Robin's smoothest voice of reason drifting out. As she expected she found a small sheet tacked on the corkboard beside the doorway with what information he had been able to find about the woman written in his neat, small handwriting. Raven glanced at the sheet, reading over it. The woman's given name was listed as Laura McNair and she had been an R.N. at Jump City Central hospital for 14 years before she'd all but fallen off the face of the Earth nearly two year ago.

"I think deep down you're a good woman Laura." Robin was saying in the room, his voice kind and calm. "I don't think you honestly wanted anyone to get hurt."

"I didn't want anyone to get hurt." Laura agreed and Raven was surprised to sense that this was true.

"I can understand how easy it is to get in over your head. I know groups like the one you were with, they offer a bigger purpose. They offer family and a sense of belonging. A lot of people find themselves in situations like yours. You're a good person Laura. If you tell me where to find the people you were with I can make sure they won't hurt anyone else."

"I don't know where they were going next. We were moving and none of us knew before hand, just in case. Even if I did know . . . I wouldn't tell you."

"Why not?" Robin asked, just as coolly as if asking her if she'd like something to drink.

"Because . . . that would be bad of me. They're my family. We're doing good work. We're doing what has to be done."

"What are you doing Laura? What has to be done?"

"I don't . . . know all the details." Raven sensed shame and longing.

"Alright." Robin nodded and a moment later he exited the room. He looked rather proud of himself and Raven frowned slightly. "She doesn't know anything. I'm certain you could sense it." The empath felt disappointment whell within him when she moved past him to push the door open again. "Raven . . ."

"I'm betting she knows more than she thinks she does. It isn't always the questions you ask. Sometimes it's just the person you're talking to."

Raven stepped into the low lit room taking a few steps toward the woman that was sitting behind the metal table in the center of the room. A plastic cup with what looked like orange juice sat upon the dull metal and Laura's restraints clanked noisily against the table's base as she shifted, sitting up straighter. The woman was awed, but not surprised as she looked at Raven with large blue eyes. She wasn't disappointed that Raven was alive at all. She was in fact very glad. Interesting.

"Daughter of Trigon! I . . Priestess said you were strong. She was right!" Laura raised her hands, but they only came up to mid chest before her restraints prevented any further movement. Laura blushed and put her hands back in her lap. "I have to be honest. I . . . I had a moment of doubt. I was afraid you were going to die." Raven felt the ghost of the emotion pass over the woman as she spoke.

"You didn't want me to die?" Raven asked evenly and Laura shook her head violently.

"No! No, no . . . of course not! You are the holy daughter of Trigon!"

"You worship Trigon." It wasn't a question. Nor was the purple haired girl surprised. She knew there were cults devoted to her father. Most were harmless . . . relatively speaking. The majority of the demon based cults were pointless, muddled things worshiping either nonexistent demons or real demons they honestly knew nothing about. They killed cats and sat in circles. They cast "magic" and prayed. Clearly this woman's "Priestess" knew some real magic. She had enchanted the blade after all. Still, it was a very simple spell.

"And you! And you!" Laura insisted with a sob. "I am sorry I doubted. I should have known you would live! I should have known. But . . . but I saw you bleeding and it was so much blood." Laura shivered at the memory. "Even after your familiar had collected you, you seemed very distressed."

"I was." Raven agreed, hoping the woman would continue talking. They were getting somewhere now. Laura had assumed Beastboy was Raven's familiar. In some demon mythologies it was common place for demons to have such companions, much like witches. They were supposed to be lesser demons that took the form of a beast or large predatory animal. The fact Laura thought this made Raven feel a bit better. Familiars weren't real. And if the group the woman came from was that misinformed perhaps they were just like the other various "worshipers", practically powerless.

"Priestess said it had to be done. I'm sure you knew that. Daughter of Trigon . . . I'm sorry I doubted but . . . will you tell me why? What did Priestess set in motion?" It was very possible they had only wanted Raven's blood. Perhaps they were somewhere that very moment praying over the stained blade, thinking the fluid itself had the power to transport Trigon into the circle where they sat.

"What has your Priestess told you about me?"

"You . . . you're the only begotten daughter of the one true Master. You failed . . . forgive me, but . . . you failed to bring your father into our realm. You could not . . . you were d-d-defective. As you grew up your power diminished." It was growing up that had made her strong enough to resist Trigon. It was intriguing, how wrong they had it.

"And Trigon? What did Priestess tell you about him?"

"Trigon! Master of all worlds! The Priestess told us all about our Lord. She told us how Trigon and Lucifer are brothers who rule an alternate dimension. It's beautiful there . . . I'm sure you've seen it. It's a peaceful, enlightened dimension with no death, no pain. But you see, there is another dimension. A dimension that's full of repression. Trigon's dimension and the other have been at war for eons. It was the bad dimension that invented the concept of Hell and the idea that demons are evil. They founded Christianity just to poison our minds against Trigon." Laura sighed dreamily, a blush touching her cheeks. "Some of the people from the bad dimension though, they started to doubt. They reach out to Trigon and he was so kind that he accepted them. Like your mother."

"My mother was a follower of Trigon?" Raven asked evenly, looking unmoved by the statement, despite how offensive the suggestion was.

"Forgive me Daughter of Trigon! Of course I know she was much more than just a devotee. I know that your father loved her above all others." Raven had to bite her lip to keep from scoffing. "Priestess says that she thinks that was why you . . . you were unable to open a doorway for Trigon. That the passion between Trigon and your mother was too great. So much magical energy went into those moments that it . . . well . . . it failed to permeate you soul properly upon conception."

"Very interesting," Raven murmured, nodding her head. Nothing Laura knew to be true was correct. Though it was disturbing that there was such a large group of cultist running about that knew both about Trigon and her relationship to him . . . she felt reassured. All they had right was the name. Trigon's name and a woman that managed to cast a minor incantation. They had no real power. Raven was fine.

* * *

Priestess shut the thin wooden door, the barrier doing little to block out the hearty shouts of "All hail Trigon" that were booming from the abandoned amphitheater below. She was in the control room, where once upon a time people worked lights and scenery for the performance on the now slowly rotting stage. It was fitting to stand there, watching her followers celebrate. It was just a play after all.

"Fools. So eager to believe whatever you tell them." A figure stepped out of the darkness, coming to stand beside Priestess. He was one of the few true followers. One of the few who knew the truth.

"And we are lucky the world is so overrun with them, Lucas." She laughed lightly, pulling her crown from her head. "They wouldn't be so eager if they knew the truth after all. They'd much prefer the beautiful lies."

"They'll all bow to Trigon and he'll end them . . . each and every one."

"Patience Pet . . . His beautiful rein will come soon enough. There's nothing more to do now but wait. Wait and watch." She smiled wickedly, turning away from the window that overlooked her followers. She couldn't wait to be done pandering to them. She needed them yet though. There would still work to do . . . all in due time.


	3. Priestess' Gift

3)

Priestess' Gift

Raven was not fine. Despite what she had continued to tell her friends and herself, she was very clearly not fine at all. She had just awoken to find she had dozed off for the second time that day while sitting on the couch, trying to read. Fatigue had become an ever present state. No matter how early she went to bed, no matter how little she did, she felt endlessly drained.

"This is ridiculous," she muttered to herself, stretching. It had been a little over two months since the incident with the Trigon pseudo-cult. In all that time there had seemed to be no further activity from the group. And despite the team's best effort there was no sign of them either. It was as if they had never existed at all.

"Oh hey, you're awake!" Beastboy told her happily, as if she hadn't been aware. The green changeling had been sitting on the far side of the couch, being quiet for once. Actually, he'd been a lot more subdue since the attack. "You want some water? Or maybe some tea? I'll make you tea." He had taken to treating her like an invalid.

"Thank you," Raven said instead of berating him for acting like she was sick. _You are sick,_ some part of her mind reminded. _Something is very wrong._

"Cool! How about somethin' to eat too? We still have some of that stir-fry from dinner last night. You really liked that, didn't you?"

"I'm not hungry."

"How about some toast? We still have a jar of apple butter from the farmer's market trip last year. I hid it in the back of the pantry, but you can have it."

"I'm not hungry, Beastboy." She repeated a bit more loudly. "And why didn't you wake me up?" It wasn't his responsibility, but he always seemed to be hovering nearby and it was easy enough to thrust the blame upon him.

"You needed to sleep."

"Why?" She asked evenly, carefully. _He knows! He knows something's wrong with me!_

"Because . . . you were tired." He laughed lightly, looking over his shoulder, her tea kettle in his hand. "Come on Rae . . . let me make you some toast, you haven't eaten since breakfast and that was hours ago."

"Why do you even care?" She asked, some of her irritation coloring the words.

"I wouldn't be me if I didn't care." He seemed to think it was answer enough and he turned his back on her once more, busying himself with making her tea. Raven sighed loudly, closing the book that had been sitting forgotten in her lap.

"I guess one piece would be nice. Since you have that hoarded apple butter."

* * *

That hideous brown wallpaper again. Raven thought she was done dreaming about this place. She was barefoot once more, but this time she was walking an alternate path. She walked into the house through the beaded curtain. Up the hallway she walked until it opened into a kitchen. She saw herself in the reflection of a small decorative mirror and saw she wasn't herself at all. A woman with honey colored hair and large hazel eyes, more green than brown, looked back at her. She appeared to be in her late twenties and was most certainly someone Raven had never met. The fact that she was this woman only bothered her for a second. She was baking a cake after all and that was what was important. She would cook the cake and maybe he would eat that. He hadn't been eating.

"Because he's dying." Was it her voice that spoke the words? She wasn't sure. She knew the words were true though. He was going to die. She didn't know who he was, but she was most certain that she was cooking the cake because he might eat it. And his birthday was over a month away. He'd never see it.

"Kunichukua," a tiny, soft voice said. There was a gentle tug at the fabric of her pant leg. She looked down to see a boy, more than a toddler . . . but not much more. He held his arms up, his blonde hair sweaty and sticking to his forehead. "Hold me." He insisted in English and Raven bent, gathering the boy up. He was unnaturally hot. The redness of his cheeks and the clamminess of his skin confirmed he was feverish.

"The cake will be done soon. We'll have it for dinner. Doesn't that sound fun?"

"I don't feel good," the boy told her, laying his head on her shoulder. She studied his tiny face, his sweet pursed lips and the light sprinkling of freckles across the bridge of his nose and cheeks. She looked at the lightly colored eyelashes of his closed eyes and the shell of his diminutive ear, red with heat. The boy's eyes fluttered open, the color green with slight flecks of brown and gold. And suddenly she forgot that she was only dreaming and that the boy in her arms was someone she didn't know. He was hers and she loved him. She loved him so intensely that it made her heart clench with painful emotion.

"It's going to be okay," she reassured him, stroking a hand over his beautiful blonde curls. He was so hot. The fever was barely under control. And it was going to get worse and then he would die. He was going to die. Her heart was slamming into her ribcage, her stomach twisting into knots. He was just a baby. He couldn't die, she wouldn't let him. She clutched him tightly to her chest, willing him healed. But she wasn't Raven right now. She was this woman who could do nothing but hold the boy and bake him a cake that he was most certainly going to just throw-up a short time later. "Nakupenda," she murmured to the boy, knowing in her heart what the word meant. He was trembling and her stomach tightened even more, her lungs heaving to breathe. He was just a baby, he couldn't die.

* * *

Raven jerked awake, the dream too vivid, her heart still aching, her stomach still . . . She bolted from her bed, rushing out her door and across the hall to the bathroom. Her knees connected soundly with the cool tiled floor as she fought to shove the toilet seat out of her way. Her stomach gave a great, clinching heave and she retch, vomit splattering into the water below. Only a few seconds later hands were pulling her hair away from her face. She heard the sink faucet turn on and a moment later a cool washcloth was pressed at the base of her neck. Raven, embarrassed to be seen in such a compromised position tried to slap away the hands that were tending to her, but they were stubborn and fluttered away only briefly. Eventually her vomiting ended and she leaned back, reaching up to flush the commode.

"Here," a soft, sleepy voice said, handing her the damp washcloth to wipe her mouth. "Do you want something to drink?"

"What are you doing up this late?" She accused instead of answering the question.

"I wasn't awake. I heard you get up." Beastboy was leaning heavily against the doorframe, his eyes only half open. Raven glared at him. The changeling had been annoyingly . . . present as of late.

"Your room is at the other end of the hall."

"So? My hearing is pretty friggin' awesome in case you haven't noticed." He smiled toothily, but the expression faded. "I'm trying to . . . to be here for you."

"Why?"

"What do ya mean why? 'Cause it's the right thing to do. I care. I care . . . a lot."

"I don't need you to care. I'm fine."

"I didn't say you aren't fine Raven. I just . . . I want you to know . . . just as soon as you're ready to talk about what's happening . . . I'm here." Raven's expression remained nonplus, but inside her stomach was twisting in a new way. Of course he knew something was amiss. Out of all the other Titan's he seemed the most tuned in to the wrongness she had been feeling. The others seemed to think that she was still recovering from the attack. It had been just over three months now. Far too long to still be nursing a completely healed wound. Maybe they didn't want to think it was anything more than that. Or maybe the wound wasn't as healed as she let herself believe.

"There isn't anything to talk about," she told him, moving to wash her hands in the sink. He shook his head sadly, pushing a hand through his hair. "You can go back to bed now."

"You want a bottle of water? I'll go get one out of the fridge. Or juice . . . there's some grape juice and . . ."

"I'm just going back to bed. Stop patronizing me, it's annoying,"

"Yeah? 'Fraid you'll just have to learn to live with it Rae." He smirked as she shoved past him. She stalked away, back toward her room. "Just shout if you need anything," Beastboy added and Raven stopped short just beyond the shadows of her room. It wasn't his words that halted her forward movement. In fact, she had in an instant all but forgotten that he was there. Instantly all her attention was honed inward. She had . . . felt something. Her awareness had suddenly been assaulted by some strange little bubble of feeling. It was so minute it could barely be called an emotion at all. The non-emotion hadn't come from herself or Beastboy nor anything else within the Tower. And suddenly it hit her. She felt as if the very weight of the world itself had just settled onto her shoulders. The Priestess' blade had been far more magical that Raven would have ever guessed. She wasn't alone in her body.

* * *

For the next three days Raven barely left her room. She read constantly, desperately trying to understand how Priestess had been able to introduce a demonic presence with the stab of the dagger. Could a demon be trapped in the metal itself? That seemed reasonable and possible even with only a mediocre mastery of magic. It wouldn't have to be a major demon, just one strong enough to take control of her body after an incubation period. Just one strong enough to overpower her will so that she could be manipulated into opening herself as the complacent portal her father had always intended her to be. In the end it didn't matter how wrong the cultist's views were. It didn't matter that they were going to get something far removed from their expected nirvana for their efforts. It didn't matter that it was almost certainly blind luck. They were in real danger of success.

Robin knocked on her door twice during her panicked search through every book she owned. The first time he kindly told her that sometimes wounds were emotional and after everything she'd gone through . . . maybe the attack had aggravated some old, buried feelings. He suggested she consider talking to someone. The second time he came knocking he sounded nearly angry. He told her that she could hide from her friends, but she couldn't hide from herself. That she needed to face her fears and pain or she would never get past them.

Cyborg came to check on her once, insisting that he needed help with something. Raven only half listened, her head bent low to see words that were starting to blur, her eyes fatigued. He insisted that he wasn't leaving until she at least opened the door. Three hours later he left, not nearly as determined as he'd been at the beginning of the conversation with her door.

Starfire came to knock on Raven's door ten times in those three days. She offered the empath the "soup of warrior's wounds". Even through the door the smell was revolting. She offered to have "the talk of girls". She begged to come in and just check on Raven. She asked to meditate with her. She demanded to be let in just to look upon her to confirm she was alive. She threatened to rip the door from the wall and come in to check. Raven took a small break from her frantic reading to peer out at the alien girl. Starfire had insisted Raven tell her what was wrong. Raven shut the door in her face.

Beastboy did not visit her door during her seclusion . . . mostly because you couldn't visit a place you never left. She endlessly heard him prowling back and forth, sometimes on his own two feet and other times on four paws. He didn't ask her what was wrong like the others had and there was a growing certainty within her that he knew exactly what was wrong with her. Animals sensed evil, they recognized it instinctually. She felt no confusion from him when she allowed herself to be aware of his emotional state. He was concerned, sad, and not surprisingly, rather anxious. But he was not at all confused. He did not knock on her door inanely. The only time he knocked was when he brought her something to eat. At first she had tried to ignore him and the offered food, but Beastboy was not as easily deterred as Cyborg had been. When he said he wasn't leaving until she opened the door, he actually meant it. So she let him hand her plates of food. She even ate it sometimes.

On the morning of the fourth day Raven put away her books. She was done researching. She knew exactly what she needed to do to rid herself of the demon's possession. All she needed was to thrust the blade it had come from back into her abdomen. And with no leads as to where The Priestess, the cultists, and the magical dagger were, she knew there was practically nothing she could do. The possessing spirit would grow stronger. She would lose control and the world as she knew it would cease to exist. The enormity of this fact threatened to overwhelm her. Raven had just begun to feel she could start to make plans for the future and once again she found herself bound by factors beyond her control. There was a little time to continue her search for the cult. It took time for the possessing spirit to have the strength to manipulate her in any major way. If she didn't find the blade, she would enchant another knife. She would say the magical words that would infect the blade and keep her from healing herself of its wounds. Then she would end her life. And as much as she wanted to live, it was a small price to pay to protect the whole of humanity.


	4. Demon

4)

Demon

A week passed and Raven tried to carry on with life as normally as she could. Her teammates seemed relieved that she was interacting with them again. They all, save Beastboy, made a point to say that they were glad she was feeling better. In fact, they insisted that she looked healthier than she ever had. Raven accepted the compliment, though she had to wonder how they'd all become so delusional. The team's sincere smiles made the changelings concerned glances all the more glaring. He was the odd man out and she was worried that the others would notice. Worse yet, he might take it upon himself to tell them. She could put off talking to him no longer.

* * *

"You know, don't you?" Raven asked him late one evening when they were alone in the common room. Beastboy had been playing a video game and he cut it off immediately, turning to look at the empath with a soft smile.

"Yeah, 'course I know. I've known since . . . since the eighth or ninth day I guess."

"Oh." She didn't know what to say for a moment. "How did you know?"

"Umm . . . you just started to smell different at first. Different enough that I . . . I kinda knew. And the rest . . . I just sort of . . . sensed it."

"Have you told anyone else?"

"Of course not!" Beastboy looked shocked and sat a hand over his heart. "You and me hadn't even talked about it yet. I'm not going to run around blabbing about something so personal and major!"

"Promise me you won't tell them Beastboy," she insisted sternly. The green boy sighed loudly and reach out, trying to take her hand. Raven slipped it out of his grip. "Promise me."

"I won't Raven. But . . ." He tried to take her hand again and again she wriggled free of his gentle hold. "You should tell them."

"They don't need to know."

"They're going to know eventually," he insisted, trying again to touch her. He was nothing if not persistent. She smacked at his hand lightly this time, since he didn't seem to understand anything less.

"When I have to tell them I will."

"Okay." He grunted, looking down at his hands and then to where her own hands sat, folded in her lap. "It wouldn't kill you to let me hold your hand Rae."

"No, but it might kill you." The mostly idle threat hung between them for a moment, then the empath sighed loudly. "Why do you even want to?"

"I'm trying to . . . you know, comfort you. Connect with you a little."

"I don't need comfort. And I have no desire to connect with you."

"Yeah, I don't really think that's totally true. On either count." He fished her hand out of her lap and gripped it firmly enough that she would have to really struggle to reclaim it. "I'm here for you, you know that right?" She didn't reply, but her head nodded slightly. "It's you and me Rae . . . it's us . . . and it's all going to be okay." It was sweet that he was so convinced that this issue could be solved with a team effort. Sweet, but utterly foolish. Raven opened her mouth to tell him as much, but it seemed pointless.

"Just don't tell anyone."

* * *

Raven was staring at the wooden alter, her head tilting slightly. Looking at it from where she was standing in ankle high grass it didn't look like an alter at all. There were small wooden stools tucked under the smooth wood making it look like a table. It was driftwood perhaps. Just a driftwood table. Her attention was pulled away from the table by a high, warbling scream. A woman ran out from behind the beaded curtain. The woman with honey hair and large hazel eyes. The woman that Raven had been in a previous dream. The boy, the boy was clutched in her arms and he was jerking. His little arms and legs convulsed, his eyes rolling wildly in their sockets.

"He's having a seizure!" The woman was screaming and Raven tried to move forward. She found herself firmly rooted to the ground though and she made an angry sound in her throat. The woman, almost certainly the boy's mother, rushed over to the thing that seemed a bit more like an alter once more. She lay the boy down, holding him in place as he shook wildly. She screamed again, calling for help. Suddenly there were people. Four men were bringing water, the last man tossing it upon the boy before sending the bucket back down the line.

"Maji! Haraka!" The man closest to the sobbing woman and the now soaking wet boy shouted.

"It's the fever!" The mother wept, looking over her shoulder. "Do something! You have to do something!" Another man appeared, this one with long features and blonde hair that looked like it had been lightly peppered with cinnamon. The woman grabbed at him with her free hand, she clawed at his arm in desperation. "Save him!"

"It's too late! I don't think . . ."

"Save him!" The mother snarled and Raven's lip curled with the emotion that blasted from the woman. She would kill the man for the boy. She would die for the boy. He was just a baby and he could not die. The man ripped free from her grasp and ran away, back past the beaded curtain. The boy stopped convulsing a second later. The boy was turning purple.

"He's not breathing. He's not breathing," Raven whispered, her heart racing. She tried to move again, crying out when her feet stubbornly refused to propel her forward. She had to save him. He wasn't breathing and she couldn't breathe from the horrible pain in her chest at the knowledge. Again the empath lost the ability to decipher a difference between the mother's emotions and her own. The blonde headed man was back and he shoved the woman away from the boy. The man shook his head.

"His heart's stopped," he told the woman who had already sank to her knees. "It's too late." The woman scrambled to her feet, rage contorting her features.

"Save him!"

"He's dead." The woman descended on the man, hitting and cursing though Raven didn't recognize the words. She jerked something away from the man she'd unleashed her fury on, staggering back to the limp boy.

"You haven't even tried! You gave up before you even tried!" She climbed onto the alter and Raven saw that the woman held a hypodermic needle. She plunged the needle into the boy's neck and then tossed it away, falling over the fragile form, her hands moving to compress his tiny chest. Up and down her arms worked as she sobbed. And then . . . the boy's fingers twitched. They curled and uncurled slightly. There was a soft gurgling sound and then the boy began to scream.

* * *

Raven jolted awake, her hand coming up to cover her frantically beating heart. She gasped for breath, shaking her head slightly to clear it of the lingering awareness. The boy that had been screaming in unimaginable pain wasn't real. He wasn't real. It was just a dream. Slowly she got out of bed, glancing at the clock on her bedside table, the red digital numbers telling her that it was nearly three in the morning. She sighed softly and padded to her door. Her throat felt scratchy, as if she had been the one screaming. She needed a hot cup of tea.

The kitchen wasn't empty when she entered it. The refrigerator door was open wide, a green hand gipping tightly at its upper edge. He didn't seem to notice she was there, his eyes honed on the contents of the fridge in what looked like serious contemplation. He was staring at the glass dish on the top shelf. Cyborg had left steaks to marinate overnight, planning on cooking them for dinner. Green eyes glared at the meat and it would be easy to think he was disgusted by the sight. The truth was far more complex. The look of contempt was not for the beef, but for himself. He was utterly disgusted with himself because he wanted the meat. He wanted it raw and bloody. When he had been whispering his secrets to Raven as she bled, he had included this fact, assuming she didn't know. She had, of course, known all along. Though he was honestly repealed by processed meats, with their heavy chemical smells, he very regularly and very much desired meat. Just one glance into his slightly open mouth could tell anyone who thought about it for even a moment, that he wasn't made to graze. Beastboy was a predator. The fact that he managed to control the impulse so well was impressive. The changeling sighed loudly to himself and grabbed the grape juice that sat beside the aromatic steak. He turned around, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise to see Raven standing there.

"Hey! You startled me," he told her just above a whisper. "Are you okay? You want some juice?"

"Tea," she mumbled, shaking her head.

"I'll make it!" He was already scrambling for the tea kettle.

"You don't have to."

"I want to, I really do. You want something to eat too?"

"No, thank you. What are you doing up?" She asked, watching as he filled the kettle with water.

"Ah, just a little nightmare," he admitted with a shrug. "Did you have a nightmare too?" He asked after a moment, pulling a mug down from the cupboard.

"Just couldn't sleep," Raven lied and he nodded, though he looked doubtful.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"All things considered, I feel fine."

"Rae . . . I really think we should talk. I mean, I know we're talking now and I know we talked about you know . . . "it" a little. Still . . . we really should talk."

"There isn't much to say."

"There's loads to say! I mean literally a hundred things. Like . . . what are we gonna do . . ."

"I don't really want to have this discussion Beastboy."

"We have to talk at some point. Why not now? It's quiet and no one is going to bother us or happen to "accidently" hear. This is the perfect time." The kettle was whistling and he grabbed it from the stove eye, pouring the steaming water over the mug that was already prepared and waiting.

"We don't have to talk. That's my choice. And I'm choosing to take my tea and go back to bed." She took the mug the moment he was done, turning her back on him.

"Raven, that isn't fair. We have to talk. I have things I want to say. Questions I need to ask. Don't you . . . how can you not want to talk about this?" She disappeared into the darkness of the tower once more, leaving his question unanswered.

* * *

Why was she here again? It seemed as soon as she had fallen asleep again she'd found herself rooted to the same spot in the same ankle high grass. She watched the boy's fingers curl and uncurl. She heard the strange gurgling sound and then he started to scream. The mother jerked away from the boy, watching in horror as he thrashed about wildly. His eyes rolled in their sockets, foamy bile dribbling down his chin. Raven vainly tried to move forward again, though she knew she wouldn't be able to move any closer. The mother grabbed the boy, scooping him up in her arms. It seemed for a moment she considered running off with him, perhaps to get the doctor that this poor child so clearly needed. Instead she sank to the ground after a few wobbly steps, her back to Raven so that the screaming boy was hidden from her view. The scream was . . . horrific. She had never heard any creature vocalize so much pain and distress.

"Ilikuwa ni kosa!" The woman shrieked over the boy's wails. "Oh God! I'm sorry. Please! I would die a thousand times over! A thousand times! Please . . . please just stop this!"

"Get up!" Raven shouted as if the woman could hear her. "Get up and do something! Do something!" The boy's screams had turned into something more akin to howls. He sounded nearly like an animal suffering an agonizing death.

"Let him be okay! I would die a thousand times over! Please God . . . anyone . . . anyone!" The woman clutched at the unseen boy, sobbing. Suddenly the tortured sounds ended, leaving just the woman's frantic sobbing.

"He can't be dead." Raven murmured as if saying the words could make them true, as if she could forbid his death.

"Oh God! Oh God!" The mother moaned, her head shaking in denial. "Sweetie . . . can . . . its Mama . . ." She broke off into soft whimpers, sounding nearly terrified.

"Ma . . . Mama?" A sweet, soft voice queried hesitantly. Relief exploded in Raven's chest, the sensation nearly bringing her to her knees. He was alive, he was okay.

"Dear God!" The blonde man seemed to have materialized out of nothing. He stared down at the prostrate woman and the boy she held, still hidden completely by her body. "God!" The man was pale, his hand coming up to scrub at his cheek.

"He's alright! He's alright!" The mother insisted, but the man shook his head. He clearly didn't agree.

"Mapepo!" One of the men that had been carrying the water cried, taking a step backwards after looking over the woman's shoulder. "Mapepo!"

"No!" The woman snarled, suddenly on her feet. She whirled on the man, rage etched across her features. "Naye ni malaika!" The boy was still clutched in her arms and Raven's eyes widened as she looked upon the child. The empath made a strange sound, one she hadn't known she could make. It was somewhere between a laugh, a sigh, and a sob. Her brain felt overtaxed, looking at the boy. It nearly felt like something was going to snap inside her thoughts, like a rubber band pulled too taunt.

"I don't . . . understand." Raven finished with some difficulty. She had wanted to replace "understand" with "believe", but her confusion managed to outweigh her disbelief by just a fraction. The mother was shouting at the men, cradling her son against her chest. Gone were his golden curls and lovely blonde eyelashes. Gone were his little brown freckles and fair skin. Even the tiny shell ears had disappeared. The boy the woman held was now green. Wet green hair lay flatly on his forehead, sharp green ears cutting a path through the tangled mess.

"Mapepo!" All four men that had brought the water muttered in frightened awe. "Mapepo!"

"It means demon," a familiar voice told her softly and Raven jerked her head to her right to find Beastboy standing there, looking just as he had in the kitchen earlier that night.


	5. Reality Check

5)

Reality Check

Raven's eyes snapped open, her eyebrows bunching in confusion and frustration. A red light was blinking, the signal that the city needed the Titans. She would have to ponder the dream later. She pulled on her clothes, struggling for a moment with her leotard. It seemed more uncomfortable than usual this morning. Raven draped her cowl over her shoulders as she walked toward the common room, pulling her hood up.

"Hey! Wait!" Beastboy appeared from his doorway, fighting to pull his left shoe on. Raven didn't stop. "Wait!" He insisted again, this time grabbing her arm lightly.

"What?" She asked somewhat tersely, pulling her arm out of his grip.

"I'll tell Robin you're sick, okay?"

"What?"

"I'll tell 'im you're sick. That way you don't have to worry about coming up with an excuse. You can just go back to bed. I know you were up late and . . ."

"I'm fine Beastboy."

"I know, I know . . . you're always fine. Just read if you don't want to go back to bed."

"What are you talking about? I'm fine. I'm going to the common room now to see what's happening. And then I'm going to go out with everyone to take care of the city, just like I always do." It had actually been a while since she'd accompanied the team on a call. Robin insisted she wait three weeks before resuming her duties after the attack. Even after that she hadn't gone. There had been several times that she had been asleep when the alarm sounded and no one had bothered to wake her.

"Raven . . . you can't."

"Watch me," she told him evenly, turning on her heels and stalking away.

* * *

It was a bank robbery, plain and simple. The three men were not super villains or even all that clever. Still, they had several hostages and care needed to be taken to ensure no one was hurt. Robin huddled with his team quickly, laying out his plan. Starfire would blast through the left side of the building, away from where the hostages were being held. During the distraction Raven would phase into the bank and shield the hostages while Robin, Cyborg, and Beastboy came in through the main entrance.

"Any questions?" Robin asked as he pulled out his bo staff.

"Yeah . . . uhhh . . . well, no it isn't a question. Just, I think Star's distraction is enough for us to duck in and grab the robbers. I don't think Raven needs to . . ." Beastboy looked imploringly at his leader, but was cut off.

"We shouldn't take any chances Beastboy. Raven will be able to ensure none of the hostages become a casualty." Robin clearly didn't understand why Beastboy would even question the plan. It was simple and solid. They would be done in ten minutes flat. "Titans go!" He ordered and both women moved to their positions. A couple seconds later the left side of the building burst in on itself, Starfire darting into the bank through the hole she'd made. Just as planned this was extremely distracting and while the men were shouting and staring at the girl, Raven silently appeared behind them, creating a dark energy shield around the small group of huddled hostages. A heartbeat later the boys rushed in. Immediately one of the men fell to his knees and surrendered. The second man stood in shocked silence, clearly overwhelmed. The third man though edged back toward his hostages. They were his only chance of escaping. If he had an innocent body to hide behind the heroes wouldn't dare attack him. With a quick flick of his wrist he extended his night stick, taking aim at the girl that was creating the barrier between him and his one way ticket to freedom. His arm started to arch forward when something heavy slammed hard into his hip. He was thrown to the ground, a millisecond later a giant green tiger opened its enormous mouth, going straight for his throat.

"Beastboy, that's enough!" Robin shouted as the changeling snarled, ending up with an arm in his mouth as the thief fought to protect himself. The man screamed as the green tiger exerted pressure on the arm between its teeth. Blood began to ooze.

"Whoa Man! Back off, you got him!" Cyborg rushed closer, Robin close behind. "Ease up BB! Let go now." Green ears folded, teeth still gripping painfully.

"Let him go Beastboy!" Robin demanded and this time he obeyed, roaring loudly in the man's face the moment he'd released his arm. The green tiger then whirled around and belted a deafening roar at Raven. Instantly he morphed into his natural state, his eyes wild.

"We are going to talk. Right now," he told the empath who was staring in disbelief. Her pale lips shifted slightly as if to speak, but for a moment words alluded her. He was so angry. She'd felt anger from him before, but not like this and certainly never directed at her personally.

"Beastboy, what in the world has . . ." Robin began, but the changeling whirled on him and growled.

"Not now. Tear me a new one later." There was something so uncharacteristically firm and demanding about the words that Robin fell silent. Beastboy turned back to Raven. "We're talking right now or so help me . . . I'll tell everyone. I'll shout it from a friggin' bullhorn." He meant exactly what he said and Raven nodded. Using her powers she opened the bank's vault and motioned him inside, closing the heavy door behind them.

Raven waited for him to speak, watching as he stalked back and forth a few times, clearly trying to calm himself. His emotions were so jumbled. Anger was starting to ebb away, leaving a strange mass of feeling she couldn't begin to untangle.

"Say whatever you have to say," Raven prompted and the anger welled again.

"Why are you doing this?" He demanded, still stalking.

"Doing what?"

"This! Why are you here Raven! This isn't safe. Why can't you just . . . uuuuhhhgggg! Why are you doing this?" He tugged at his left ear in irritation. "I don't understand."

"That makes two of us," she told him evenly. "Why are you so upset?"

"Really? Why am I so upset?" He stopped his pacing and came to stand in front of her. The tips of their shoes nearly touched and Raven tilted her head up slightly to look at his face. Strange that he was taller than she now. It was difficult to notice change when you saw someone every day. He would always be two years her junior, but he was well into his seventeenth year of life now and time had made him taller and broader. "This is so not safe Raven. Please, just hang out at the Tower from now on," he said after a couple deep breaths to calm himself some.

"Are you worried I'm going to lose control and hurt someone?" She shook her head and pushed him away. "I'm still in control. I may be possessed, but I have some time yet before . . ."

"Wait. Did you just say possessed?" Beastboy interrupted, his head tilting.

"Yes."

"And when you say possessed you actually mean . . ."

"Possessed." His head cocked further, looking at her like she'd grown a second head. His eyes squinted as if trying to decide if she was making a joke. "You told me you knew Beastboy." Safe deposit boxes began to rattle loudly behind their locked doors.

"I . . . yeah, but . . ." He shook his head and then hide his face in his hands for a moment, moaning loudly. His anxiety was growing, his heart starting to beat faster. "Oh God Raven."

"You told me you knew!" Crips bills were swirling all around them, like leaves caught in a hurricane.

"I swear . . . I swear that I thought . . . I swear I thought you knew. If I had thought even for a second you didn't know I would 'ave said something. I mean . . . how can you not know Raven?"

"What are you saying?"

"I mean . . . you spend so much time looking in . . . you . . . you should know your body better than most people. What in the world made you think you're possessed?"

"Because I am. Its been draining my energy and making me sick. Recently I've become aware of its presence . . . of rudimentary emotion and . . . " Beastboy barked laughter, high and hysterical, like someone who was about to lose control.

"Rae . . . you aren't possessed."

"Of course I am. There's no other explanation."

"Raven, you are not possessed." He swallowed loudly and stepped closer again. "You're pregnant."

The whirling bills fell to the floor and the lock boxes stopped rattling. Raven stood, her eyes unfocused. She was strangely void of any emotion. This is what shock felt like, some part of her mind provided. She felt warm hands grab her right hand in some attempt at reassurance. Beastboy was saying something, but she was struggling to focus. Her eyes flickered up to his face and then down to his chest. From there her gaze moved to his right arm. The dagger had cut him first. When Laura had held the knife she had cut him. His blood had been all over the blade when Priestess spun her magic. It had been there when the blade pierced her skin and plunged deep within her. The money on the floor was beginning to rustle again. How could she be so blind? She'd been so relieved that the cult had been so misguided that she hadn't stopped to consider what damage their misinformation could do. Laura had given her all the clues, but she just hadn't listened with the correct mindset.

 _ **As you grew up your power diminished. Priestess says that the passion between Trigon and your mother was too great. So much magical energy went into those moments that it failed to permeate you soul properly upon conception.**_ If the cult believed her power had faded as she aged it made perfect sense to create a new, much younger portal. A portal that hadn't been created during an act of love or moment of passion. The safe deposit boxes started to rattle again. She was so stupid. She was . . . oh Azar! She was almost four months pregnant. She jerked her hand away from the gloved one's that were holding it. Several lock boxes managed to escape the little sealed doors they hid behind to go rocketing into the opposite wall with a bang.

"You didn't say anything!" She snarled at the changeling, pointing a condemning finger. "Why didn't you say something?"

"Rae I did! I tried to talk to you a dozen times! An' I thought you knew. I mean for crying out loud . . . you're starting to show!" Her hand moved to press at her middle, feeling the slight roundness of her belly. He was right. She had to be the most oblivious individual in the history of existence. More metal boxes slammed into the wall, the money swirling faster and faster.

"I . . . I can't do this right now." An instant later she was gone.

* * *

Raven rarely lost control. She had spent practically every year of her nineteen years of life learning to maintain control. Her self-discipline was impressive in most situations, but at that very moment as she curled in on herself and cried, control was the last thing she had. Raven had managed to travel far enough from the city before she'd broken down though and the only casualties of her weakness would be the trees all around her. She could hear tree limbs breaking, sturdy trunks cracking and shattering. She had been so certain her struggles with Trigon were over. She fought him, she defeated him. He was gone. And even though a thing like Trigon could never be completely destroyed, she had honestly believed she would not find herself vulnerable to his influence again. Yet here she was, her hands clasping at the roundness she hadn't even noticed. Her cowl had thankfully hidden the tiny mound from view. Only Beastboy's keen eyes had seen it. She pressed lightly with her fingertips, prodding at the firm skin. Deep inside she felt a flutter of movement, her lips pulling into a slight frown. It wasn't the first time she felt the slight rolling sensation in her midsection. She'd felt it for the first time days ago and had assumed the spirit was just getting stronger. She had felt her child move for the first time and had cursed at it. Her child? That seemed like a dangerous thought. The thing growing inside her was a tool. Just a way for Trigon to enter and conquer another dimension. Were these thoughts her own mother had as she had lay clutching her pregnant middle? She didn't want to be her mother. She couldn't sentence a child to the total emotional depravation she had been subjected to. That depravation had been for her own good though. But this was different. Wasn't it? Raven groaned miserably, hiding her face in the crook of her arm. She didn't know.

* * *

She barely recalled the trip back to the Tower. She could have teleported straight back, but she used the extra time it took to fly home to collect herself further. A strange mixture of apprehension and relief washed over her as the gleaming Tower came into view. She made a sweeping circle around the glass and chrome building before finding the window she wanted and flew through. It was open and she should have known that probably meant he wasn't in his room at all, having flown out it himself, but she entered anyway.

The first thing that struck her was how clean the room was. Age had not improved the changeling's tidiness. Well, until now. The floor was void of dirty clothes or discarded soda cans. The carpet was vacuumed and by the look of it, recently shampooed as well. His desk was neat and his small bookcase full of graphic novels and comics was organized and free of dust. His bunk bed had been replaced a couple years ago with a double bed. He'd become too tall to sleep in the top bunk of his old bed without constantly hitting his head on the ceiling. The bed had a solid blue comforter pulled over the mattress, his pillows in matching pillowcases that were propped against the wooden headboard. Upon the bed two books lay and what looked like a shoe box covered in red felt set beside them. Raven should probably leave, but she moved toward the bed and sat down. She looked down at the books, her lips twitching into the hint of a sad smile. "What to Expect When You're Expecting" and "Pregnancy for Dummies" lay side by side, both had several bookmarks jutting out the top. Her eyes then trailed to the shoe box, pulling it a bit closer. The lid was covered in the same red felt, large yellow felt letters spelling out "Gar". The empath traced the soft letters with her index finger, wondering if his mother had made the box. It seemed far more likely though that Rita had crafted the memory box. The woman had taken to surrogate motherhood like Aqualad took to water. Even though Beastboy had left the Doom Patrol years ago, Rita stayed in contact, still eager to play the part of mother hen. Raven paused, then lifted the lid off the box. These were his private things and she probably shouldn't be looking, but her curiosity had won out. There was an envelope full of photographs and she pulled it from the box, pulling them from the white paper that surrounded them. The first picture in the stack was of a man, woman, and young boy. There was something unsettling about seeing how accurate the dreams had been. Beastboy's parents looked exactly like she had dreamed them and the tiny boy between them matched her dream version completely.

"Raven?" She had been so engrossed in what she was doing that she didn't notice the green sparrow that landed on the window sill. She looked up at the changeling, shoving the photos back into their sleeve.

"Sorry. I shouldn't have been . . ."

"It's okay. I'm just glad you're back." He settled on the bed beside her and pulled the pictures out again. "You can look." He smiled and looked down on the picture. "This is my mom and dad . . . and me of course. It's the last picture of me before well, you know, this." He made a sweeping gesture with his free hand. He shuffled the picture and moved to the next. His mother and father were in the next picture, a green boy now between the smiling couple. "I think they thought it was a little weird at first but I never felt like they didn't still love me. My mom still took lots of pictures. I don't have most of them anymore. I wish I did." He flipped the picture over where neat cursive handwriting was beginning to fade. The words could still be made out though.

 _ **Mama, Baba, and handsome Garfield.**_ There was a heart over the "i" in his name and a random sketch of a flower in the left corner. Beastboy touched the words lightly, carefully. He sighed and shuffled it to the back of the pile.

"I was thinking and I . . . I really think I'd like to be called Baba too, just like what I called my dad. Is that okay?"

"Beastboy I don't . . ." she began quietly, but he interrupted her.

"And I think you should start calling me Gar from now on."

"Why?"

"We're having a baby. Don't you think we should at least be on a first name basis?" This made sense but the empath still shook her head.

"I don't know what you think is going to happen but . . . it isn't going to be . . ." She wasn't sure how to finish the sentence. She had felt the excited happiness that swelled in the changeling when he said the word "baby". The fact that he seemed so unphased by what was happening disturbed her. Of course he'd had nearly four months to get used to the idea.

"Look." He dug around in his box and pulled out a long, leather ledger. He flipped it open and handed it to her. Raven took it and looked down at dates and numbers. "It's my trust fund," he added after a couple minutes of silence. The numbers neatly printed in the ledger were impressive. "I can take care of us Rae. I will take care of us."

"It isn't money I'm worried about."

"Tell me what you are worried about. We'll talk it out. We'll figure out how to fix it."

"Fix it? How exactly can we fix the fact that this entire thing is just a ploy to open a portal for Trigon? How are you going to fix that _Gar_?" It wasn't fair to lash out at him and she regretted the words the moment they passed her lips.

"You were born to be a portal for Trigon too," he told her gently. "But you totally kicked his ass and saved the whole world, didn't you?"

"I only had to save the world because I allowed Trigon to enter this realm."

"The point is Rae . . . you aren't what you were born to be. You chose to do good, to be good. You're a hero. You . . . you're awesome. There's no reason to believe it won't be the same this time. I mean, with you here to guide them and teach them . . . how could they ever be anything other than awesome too?" Slowly he reach out, settling his fingertips on her middle. She shifted away from his touch, pulling her cowl around herself more completely.

"I don't know how to be a mother."

"No one knows how at first, it's okay. You'll learn."

"It isn't okay. My mother . . . I barely know my mother. She didn't hug me or kiss me or do whatever it is mothers do. The only things I know about love I read in a book or experienced second hand through my powers. I'm not even comfortable with being touched. How can I be a mother if I don't know how to love? If the idea of holding a living thing so close to me, bothers me?"

"You worry too much. I think you know more about love than you admit to yourself. And I'm sure it will be different once the baby comes. You'll want to hold him or her. I bet you all the money I have that you will." Raven shook her head, unconvinced. "You'll see," he promised softly. "And there's time. We can work on all the stuff you're worried about."

"They aren't skills to be improved," Raven argued flatly.

"Sure they are!" He smiled and reach out, taking her hand in his own. The empath began to pull away, but his grip tightened slightly. "We'll start with holding hands. Once you're comfortable with that, we'll move on to something else."

"And if I'm never comfortable with it?"

"You can get used to anything with a little effort."

"I don't want to hold your hand Garfield," she told him, the light bulb in his bedside lamp popping loudly.

"Try changing the way you're thinking about it. I mean, heck . . . it isn't even actual skin to skin contact is it?" Amethyst eyes glanced down to study their hands. He was right, the gloves he wore provided a barrier between her skin and his own. Despite herself, the idea made her feel better about having him grip her hand. Her shoulders visibly relaxed, her hand becoming limp. She wasn't gripping his hand in reciprocation, but it was a start. "See, it's nice, right?"

"I wouldn't go that far. It's tolerable."

"I'll take tolerable over . . ." Beastboy's communicator beeped loudly and he sighed in exasperation. "I guess it's time to face the music. I've been avoiding Robin since we got back, but it's probably best just to get it over with." He gave Raven's hand a gentle squeeze before releasing it completely.


	6. Angel

6)

Angel

"This has to be the most irresponsible thing you have ever done." Robin was preaching, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Come on Man . . . the most irresponsible thing ever?" Cyborg asked with a shake of his head. "We've all gotten a little heavy handed one time or . . ."

"You could have killed that man!" Robin continued, ignoring the other's input completely. "I can't protect you from the law Beastboy. We aren't above it, we uphold it! What were you thinking?"

"He was going to hurt Raven," the changeling responded softly, trying not to lose his temper.

"Raven can take care of herself. There was no reason for you to react the way you did." There was a very good reason, but the youngest titan kept his green lips pressed firmly together. "The only way a team is effective is when it functions as a team. That means everyone does what they're supposed to do."

"You mean what you tell them to do," Beastboy corrected, knowing he should just let Robin vent. He had just turned being reprimanded into a full fledge argument.

"I am the leader, so yes. I do mean that you should do as I say."

"Even when what you say is crazy stupid?" Why couldn't he just shut up?

"Crazy stupid? I see. Did anyone else think the plan was stupid?" Silence echoed in the common room. "Is it stupid to save hostages in a quick and effective manner? Is it stupid to apprehend three criminals with no incident?"

"There woulda been an incident if I hadn't stepped it!" The changeling insisted with a growl.

"Combat is a part of being a superhero. Raven can heal herself. A smack from a nightstick is hardly . . ." The growl grew in volume and intensity.

"So I should just let my . . . my team mate get hurt even though I can do somethin' about it?"

"She wouldn't have been hurt!" Robin insisted loudly.

"You don't know that!"

"He didn't have a gun. He was just a human man with a police baton. What's the worst that could have happened Beastboy?" Robin watched in shock as the green face before him pulled into a look of revulsion and fear. He didn't understand what the other could be thinking to make him react so violently. To say Robin was observant was a gross understatement and he knew that Beastboy had always favored Raven. He also knew that as the boy grew and changed that fondness had grown and changed as well. Perhaps the changeling had begun to fixate on her to a degree that was detrimental to the team. And that was unacceptable. The only completely human member of the team took a step forward, his mouth opening to lay down an edict that made his heart clinch painfully. His hidden eyes opened wide though when Raven stepped between the two men.

"This argument is over," she told Robin evenly. "You can't remove Beastboy from the team. You'd only have three members left."

"Do you not mean four, Friend Raven?" Starfire asked softly, her green on green eyes damp and touched by sadness.

"I mean three," she confirmed and Robin shook his head.

"Are you threatening to leave the Titans if I remove Beastboy?" Perhaps what Robin had perceived as a very one sided romance was a little more complicated than he'd first thought.

"You aren't going to remove Beastboy. I am taking a hiatus from the Titans, however."

"Why?" Cyborg asked with concern. Raven had not wanted to tell the others yet. She'd only had a handful of hours to come to terms with her pregnancy. Judging by Robin's emotional state though, he was serious about removing the perceived threat to the team.

"I'm not medically fit to go on missions," she began, trying to work her way up to saying the words. "That's why Beastboy was so quick to protect me. He knows about my condition and requested I take appropriate precautions. I was being stubborn. His reaction is understandable, all things considered."

"Are you ill Friend?" Starfire asked with concern, flitting closer to look the smaller woman up and down critically. "I shall make the salve of healing!"

"No, that isn't necessary. I'm not sick. I'm just . . . expecting."

"E-expecting?" Robin parroted, taking a step backwards.

"What is our friend expecting?" Starfire queried with a tilt of the head.

"It usually means pregnant, but that can't be what she's saying," Cyborg said with a soft, nervous chuckle.

"It is what I mean," the empath clarified. A heavy, uncomfortable silence hung in the air, every pair of eyes boring into her.

"Who did this to you?" Cyborg suddenly demanded loudly. "Who was it? My sonic cannon and his balls need to have a meeting."

"The person that did this doesn't even have balls."

"I do too!" Beastboy lamented, blushing as three sets of eyes darted to him.

"You didn't actually do anything Beastboy," Raven told him with a sigh. "When we fought the Trigon cult, when I was stabbed. That's when it happened."

"That horrible woman stabbed you because you are the pregnant?" The orange colored girl asked in confusion.

"No. Her magic and the wound . . . facilitated conception."

"How can that be?" Robin questioned quietly. "You said that Priestess' magic was mediocre at best."

"Yes, but what she did was actually rather simple. Laura cut Beastboy first. His blood was all over the blade. Priestess simply turned blood cells into sperm cells. Considering how malleable his cells already are even Mumbo could do it. There was some additional magic, again basic. She manipulated my system slightly to trigger ovulation. Then it was simply a matter of stabbing in the correct location to introduce the sperm cells into my reproductive system. She prevented me from healing the wound right away because my magic would have negated all of her's. At the moment of conception my body instinctually protected the embryo and it wasn't affected when I could finally heal myself."

"That was four months ago. You're four months pregnant?" Cyborg asked, shaking his head at the craziness of the entire thing.

"I will be at the end of the week, yes."

"And . . . and you're havin' a baby with . . . with Grass Stain?" The cybernetic man darted his index finger back and forth between Raven and Beastboy, still standing beside her.

"Yes."

"But why?" Robin asked.

"To create a new portal for Trigon."

"Would that even work?"

"Possibly. I can't say for certain." Raven closed her eyes for a moment, feeling the flipping roll of the growing child within her. Portal or not she was certain that the cult would be very interested in the baby once it was born.

* * *

Raven lay in her bed, staring up at her ceiling, feeling exhausted. It had been three days since she had been forced to tell her team mates about her condition. After the initial shock Starfire had been overwhelmingly excited about the prospect of going to the "center of shopping" for "the clothes of motherhood". Though it was becoming clear that she wouldn't be able to wear her uniform much longer, Raven had no interest in a shopping excursion. Robin and Cyborg had thankfully left her alone, dealing with the news in their own ways. Cyborg was working on improving the security system of the Tower and Robin was obsessively researching the Trigon cult and searching for any hint of where they had gone. And Beastboy . . . even as she thought of him a soft knock pulled her away from her revere.

"Are you asleep Rae?" The changeling called softly from beyond her closed door. She was tempted to ignore him for a moment, but then she sighed, sitting up.

"No, come in." The door slid open and he peered at her from the threshold. He hesitated for a moment more before walking into the room, the door closing behind him. "What do you want?"

"Just wanted to check on you, see if you needed anything."

"I'd like some peace and quiet," she told him and he nodded, not seeming to realize she was asking him to leave her alone.

"Star's been pretty hyper about the whole thing, huh?"

"She wanted to go pick out a "baby containment cage" with me today," Raven said with a soft huff.

"A what? Oh . . . a crib, right?" He laughed lightly, shaking his head. He eyed her bed for a moment and then sat down beside her. "Are you thinking it's too early to do things like that?"

"I was mostly just thinking I couldn't stand Starfire's enthusiasm."

"She's happy for you." The empath shrugged, unsure what to say in response. "Anyway, I'm glad you didn't run out to the mall with her to buy everything. I was kinda hoping we could do a lot of that together." He reach out and took her hand. Raven had to admit that she was becoming accustom to the contact. His hand was constantly searching her's out whenever they were alone after all. She didn't fight or even tense as his fingers slid between her own.

"That's fine I guess."

"Awesome." He smiled down at their intertwined fingers and released his hold on her smaller hand. He had no great premeditated plan for acclimating her to touch, but he could sense that she had become relatively comfortable with hand holding. It was time to move on to something else. He very much wanted to touch her pregnant middle, but was wise enough to know that the contact would feel too intimate to her. Instead his hand moved to her back, settling squarely in the center a couple inches below her shoulder blades. The muscles under his palm jumped and she set up straighter, her breath catching in her throat. Her bookcase thumped against the floor, several books tumbling off.

"Gar," she grumbled in warning, shifting away from him. At least she seemed to be warming up to the idea of calling him by name. He smiled and put his hand right back where it had been.

"Think of it this way . . . there's two layers of cloth between my skin and your skin. So this is actually even less of a big deal than holding hands is." Slowly the bookcase stopped its hopping. She grunted, the sound meant to inform him of her discomfort, since her expression was as placid as ever. "You're doing great you know," he encouraged softly.

"Yeah, great," she murmured doubtfully.

"You are." He sighed, patting her back lightly. "So . . . today was the first day of your second trimester. Seems like an accomplishment we should commemorate."

"My body has managed to do what has come natural to female bodies since the dawn of time, it isn't an accomplishment."

"That's not totally true. Did you know that ten to twenty percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage? And eighty percent of those miscarriages happen in the first trimester!" Raven didn't know this, but nodded. She was vaguely impressed by the facts he was spouting. It meant that he was really reading the books she'd seen laying on his bed. "That means being in the second trimester is a pretty big deal Rae. It's totally worth celebrating."

"Fine. Exactly how were you wanting to celebrate?"

"Two things. First, I wanna take a picture." He had come prepared, digging out a thin digital camera from the front pocket of his jeans. The empath had hardly registered that he hadn't been wearing his uniform. She should have found the jeans and long sleeve black t-shirt suspicious. He started to fiddle with the camera, taking his hand away from her back and standing up. She watched his gloved fingers press at buttons. Even in casual clothing he usually wore the gloves and rarely if ever did he wear short sleeved shirts. Despite the confidence he presented to the rest of the world the changeling was very self-conscious about the way he looked. He had told Raven this fact during his impromptu confession session as he held her close after Priestess' attack. However, just as she had known about his "secret" desire for meat, she had known this too. He smiled brightly at her, looking up from the camera. "Okay, stand up."

"Can't I just sit?"

"Nope. I wanna get your belly too." With a sigh Raven stood. "Push your cape back some."

"It's a cowl," she corrected, pulling it closer around her body.

"Your cowl then. Geez . . . come on Rae, just a little, just enough to see Baby." She simply stared at him for a moment, but then relented, allowing the sides of the cowl to fall away enough to see the slight swell of her stomach. "Perfect!" She heard the electronic click and pulled her cowl back around herself, moving to sit down on her bed again. "Hang on," the changeling insisted, fiddling with the controls on the camera again. "One more."

"You got your picture, now . . ."

"We need one with the whole family. Just let me figure out how to set the timer."

"Garfield, we are not . . ." He looked up at her and she felt something stir within him. A nearly fathomless hurt and fear, left by a lifetime of loss and rejection. "We aren't taking any more pictures after this one. I'm tired," she finished and his smile returned.

"That's fine." He sat the camera on her dresser and scrambled to her side, setting his hand on her back again, smiling brightly as the flash blinded her for the second time.

"Happy now?" She asked as she sat back down, pulling her legs under herself.

"Very happy. There . . . there was one more thing I was wanting to do," he reminded her as he slipped the camera back into his pocket. The empath sighed wearily, waving a hand for him to continue. "Well, it's a little early but . . . I, would it be okay if I talk to the baby for a couple minutes?"

"What?"

"It's a couple weeks earlier than the book says babies start hearing stuff but . . . I mean it is my kid . . . so it might could hear now. I want it to know my voice." A strange feeling Raven was certain she'd never felt before fluttered in her chest and the one window in her bedroom suddenly blossomed with a spider web of cracks. Beastboy looked over at the damage and then back to the girl on the bed. He opened his mouth to apologize, but she shook her head.

"Only for a minute," she told him flatly. He nodded eagerly, settling on the bed beside her again. He eyed the slight swell of her middle, again wanting desperately to touch it. He knew it would be too much though and if he pushed her too hard she would stop trusting him and would shy away from all his touches. So he simply leaned a bit closer to her stomach, placing his hands on her mattress.

"Hello Baby. I'm your Baba. I can't wait to find out if you're a boy or girl. That way me and your Mama can start thinking of names for you. I can't wait to see you. Mimi najua wewe ni nzuri. Tu kama mama yako. Malaika wangu wawili." Raven stiffened some. She recognized one of the words from her dream.

"What did you say?"

"Oh, it's just Swahili," he said dismissively with a chuckle. "I told you I spoke it right along with English growing up, remember?" She did remember. It was one of the secrets he divulged that she hadn't known before. She had heard him muttering to himself before with syllables that were clearly not English, but she had assumed that it was nonsense.

"But, what did you say?" She insisted and he sighed softly. He had spoken the words in Swahili so she wouldn't know exactly what he'd said.

"I told the baby it was going to be beautiful." He left out that he'd said she was beautiful too. "And I told it that it's an angel."

"An angel? You do realize half demons don't usually give birth to angels, right?"

"I asked my mom what a demon was once. She told me that a demon . . . a demon was just an angel that ended up on the wrong team. An angel that got twisted into something ugly by the wrongness they chose to do. You choose to do what's right everyday Rae and you're on a team that fights against evil. You know what that makes you, right?" The already fracture window shattered.


	7. Bug

7)

Bug

Cyborg was smiling brightly as Raven entered the medical bay, her eyes darting to the machine that was humming softly beside the examination table. Beastboy followed closely behind, his hand falling away from her back as they entered the room. Raven pulled her cowl closer around herself as cybernetic fingers moved to fiddle with controls on his home made piece of medical equipment.

"Come on now," Cyborg encouraged with a light laugh. "It's just a check-up." Raven sighed, but finally stepped forward, removing her cowl. Beneath she wore a pair of black stretch pants and a pale gray blouse. She hovered off of the ground, lifting her weight to settle on the blue exam table. It had been two weeks since Raven's announcement and Cyborg had been bugging her for days to come to the med bay for a thorough examination to ensure she and the unborn child were healthy. She had been reluctant at first, mostly out of fear that he would find something wrong. Beastboy had joined in on the persistent pestering though and she had relented, unable to stand both men nagging at her constantly.

"We're gonna see the baby Rae . . . aren't you excited?" The changeling asked with a toothy grin.

"I'm anxious," she replied honestly, so low only his acute hearing would understand the muttered words. His smile softened into a more wistful expression.

"Let's get this party started. Go 'head and lay back." He turned his back on the pair, beginning to prepare his equipment. Raven settled against the reclined table, the plastic squeaking slightly as she rested her full weight against it. She sighed again and Beastboy reach out to lightly brush her bangs away from her face. She seemed unphased by the contact until Cyborg began to turn around. Quickly she moved away from the gloved fingers that had been gently stroking over her chakra stone. She wasn't sure she'd ever be comfortable with affection in front of others, but she felt like she had accomplished a great deal in such a relatively short amount of time. She'd gone from seeing the changeling's soft touches as annoying intrusions to honest acts of comfort and connection. And though she didn't always feel as comforted or connected to him as he clearly wanted her to be, she felt a certain ease with him.

"Dude, will this thing print out pictures?" Beastboy asked when Cyborg was facing them again, a bottle in one hand and an electronic wand in the other.

"Of course!" He nodded towards the empath's middle. "Alright, you have to pull your shirt up over your belly and push your waist band under it." She did as she was told, feeling ridiculously exposed as both men eyed her unnaturally pale midsection. "I warmed up the gel, so it shouldn't be too uncomfortable." He tilted the bottle and squirted a generous amount of goop onto her stomach. He sat the bottle aside and placed the probe into the clear gel. He moved the probe around in slow, winding circles until a loud sound filled the room.

"Is . . . is that . . ?" The changeling began in wonder, Cyborg nodding.

"That's the baby's heartbeat." The sound was like a steady whoosh of rushing water. "We'll just listen for a minute while the system runs a diagnostic." For thirty seconds they all listened to the whoop-swoosh until numbers popped up on the monitor. "The baby's heart rate is one hundred fifty six beats per minute. A little on the high side."

"What?" Raven asked, nearly sitting up. A metal hand settled on her shoulder though, stilling her.

"It's nothing to worry about Raven. It's only a little fast. And BB has a higher heartrate than normal too. Probably just takes after him."

"You can't know that for sure," she argued evenly, her tone again neutral despite her anxiety.

"Well . . . it's something we'll keep an eye on as the pregnancy goes along. Honestly though, it's nothing to worry about right now." He smiled and patted her shoulder. "Let's take a look at that kid now." With a flip of a switch, the screen on the monitor filled with strange shapes. Cyborg began to move the wand again, his one organic eye squinted in concentration. After a minute or two of slight movements the man made a pleased sound. "Here we are." He tilted the screen slightly so they could see.

"It's a baby," Beastboy whispered, eyes opening wide. "It's . . . really a baby."

"Were you worried it was going to be a kitten?" Cyborg teased good-naturedly.

"I mean . . . I thought . . . I don't know . . . I thought it was gonna look like some weird little bug or something. That's . . . that's a baby." Bright green eyes took in the profile that clearly showed a little nose and slightly pursed lips. An arm moved and the changeling made an odd sound somewhere between a purr and a sigh. He tore his eyes away from the image to look down at Raven's face. Her attention was intently honed on the screen just as his had been a moment before. She felt his gaze and glanced up at him.

"I thought it was going to look like a little bug too," she admitted with the hint of a smile.

"I'm going to get some measurements now," Cyborg told the pair, his wand beginning to move again. After a couple minutes he looked up from the screen, smiling brightly. "You wanna know the gender?"

"You can tell?" Raven asked softly and he nodded.

"I'm pretty sure, yeah. So, you guys want to know?"

"Ye . . ." an ecstatic Beastboy began.

"No," a much more collected Raven finished.

"No? Why not?" He asked tersely, green lips pursing into what was nearly a pout.

"On Azarath its bad luck to know the sex of a baby before it's born."

"You don't strike me as the kind of person to believe in things like that," Cyborg commented, but Raven shook her head again.

"We don't want to know."

"Okay then. Well, the baby looks good. Everything is where it ought to be. Based on the date of conception you're looking at a due date of December twenty-fourth."

"Christmas Eve?" Both parents asked at the same time.

"Yup. That's one heck of a Christmas present, huh?" Cyborg laughed and Beastboy agreed hardily. Raven simply shook her head. She was thinking of another virginal teenaged mother. She of course most likely had not really given birth to her son on December twenty-fourth. The birth had simply been celebrated that day to draw solstice celebrating pagans into the fledging religion. Still, it was the symbolism that mattered and the whole situation was ripe to overflowing with perverted parallels to one of the most well know birth stories of all time.

* * *

Sleep was hard to come by that night, the shadows on the wall seeming to dance about in mirth all around Raven's room. She wasn't afraid . . . exactly. Raven knew that the shadows were just that. She lived in one of the most secure places in Jump City and in the world for that matter. No one would be able to take so much as one step into the fortified tower without triggering a half dozen alarms. Still, she felt edgy. Her pale fingers stroked at the swell of her stomach for a moment, before placing a palm flat against the roundness that wasn't as slight as it had been just two weeks ago. Seeing the baby had been such a strange experience. It was so much more real now. There was a baby in her womb. A baby with arms and legs. A baby that had a sweet nose that had looked slightly upturned. A baby with eyes and little lips that parted slightly at one point as she watched it on the monitor. With an ear that, the more Raven looked at the images Cyborg had printed out, had a definite elfish quality to it. This was her son or her daughter and someone wanted to hurt them. Not just someone, but at least a hundred someones. Anger welled for a moment, but she quickly quieted the emotion, breathing deeply. She rolled onto her side, closing her eyes. The empath focused on her breathing, trying to force sleep to come. Her mind refused to settle though, her thoughts restless. Eventually she climbed out of bed. She would just go sit in the common room for a little while. When she opened her bedroom door and stepped into the hall she found her feet took her in the opposite direction. She stood outside the closed door for just a second or two before her hand balled into a fist and she knocked softly.

"Garfield?" She whispered, glancing over her shoulder and back down the hall. She heard a thump from inside the bedroom, the metal door swooshing open just a handful of seconds later.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked groggily, blinking at her.

"I . . ." She wasn't sure what she had planned to say.

"What is it Rae? You aren't hurting or anything are you?" His eyes were completely open now, looking her up and down.

"No, I'm fine." Exactly why had she decided to wake him up just because she couldn't sleep? It seemed stupid now that she was standing in his doorway. He shook his head at her, his expression and emotions suggesting he doubted she was as fine as she claimed.

"Here, come on in. Don't wanna wake anyone up." He waved her inside and she stepped into his room, the door closing with a slight hiss behind her. He cut on the lamp that sat on his bedside table, looking her over once more. Raven blinked at the change in illumination. Gar stood a few paces away from her, his head tilting, his eyes still seeming to assess her condition. He was wearing nothing but a pair of shorts and she was exceptionally aware that she had never seen so much of his skin. Purple eyes trailed over his shoulders and chest, she looked at his long green arms and large green hands. His fingers had a certain gracefulness to them, the tapered ends tipped with curving nails that couldn't be called anything other than claws. He became aware of her gaze and balled his hands into fists, putting them behind his back.

"Sorry," she murmured softly, blushing slightly.

"I know it's hard not to stare." Shame and disgust radiated from him.

"Gar . . . has anyone ever told you that you have a musician's fingers?"

"You mean a monster's fingers?"

"I mean musician. Long, thin, graceful fingers."

"I can't say anyone ever has," he replied with a soft chuckle. He glanced down at the floor for a moment, looking almost bashful. He let his hands fall at his sides again, then looked back up at her. "What's wrong Mama?" There was something so startlingly intimate about the sentence. Not just the words, but the tone, as well as the emotions he felt as he spoke them.

"I couldn't sleep. I keep thinking about . . . the cult. They'll want the baby. And if they got them . . ."

"They won't take the baby Raven. As long as I'm breathing, they won't lay a finger on either of you."

"I'm sure they'd have no qualm about killing you to get to us."

"I'm too stubborn to die," he told her, turning his back to her to straighten his crumpled comforter.

"You are stubborn," she agreed, watching him work. His back was heavily scarred, raised marks of a lighter green running in long lines from just below his neck to mid-back, a few trailed so low that there end was somewhere within his shorts. These were not trophies from his life as a superhero. These were marks left by a belt or a whip. "But you aren't immune to death." Something cold slipped up her spine as she muttered the words and she shivered.

"Well, then they'd have to go through Robin. And Cy and then Star. And if they manage to kill all of us they'd still have you to contend with. Our Bug is going to be just fine." He turned back to face her, sitting down with a plop and motioning for her to join him. She settled beside him, shaking her head.

"Bug?"

"Yup. Since we don't know the gender we can't really pick a name. So now the baby is Bug."

"Because?"

"Because it's cute. We both thought the baby was going to be some weird bug-like blip on the screen. "

"But it wasn't," Raven reminded him.

"I know. Still . . ." he shrugged, smiling happily. "Are you hungry at all?" He asked after a moment, bringing a hand up to pet lightly at the crown of her head. It amazed him how quickly he'd been able to progress from a limp fingered hand hold to random caresses. He was always mindful of where he touched and for how long he lingered, carefully reading her body language to gauge her comfort level. Touches on her back and head were tolerated longest. Momentary contact with her arms and shoulders was permissible. Touching her face was always a fleeting treat that she was usually quick to shy away from. She let him touch her hands, but they had moved away from holding hands. Though she hadn't said so, he got the impression that the act made her feel trapped. It was easy to shrug his hand away from her body. It took longer to untangle fingers.

"We ate a huge dinner," she told him, shaking her head. "I still fill overly full to be honest."

"Okay. You want some warm milk? Rita used to give me that when I couldn't sleep."

"No, thank you." The idea sounded vaguely gross to her. She sighed, looking down at her hands. "Can I ask you a personal question?"

"Yeah, I guess . . . if I can ask you one." Raven considered for a moment, wondering exactly how personal his personal question would be.

"Alright," she relented and he nodded for her to continue. "The scars on your back . . ." She began, feeling him tense beside her.

"Haven't always been on a team with a magical healer that could patch me up," he interrupted, clearing his throat.

"Yes, but they don't look like the types of wounds you would get in combat. It looks like someone . . . beat you." He grunted, scrubbing his palms on his knees, his eyes closing for a moment.

"Yeah," he muttered after a couple minutes, glancing around at his room to avoid her gaze. A whine rose from his throat and he shifted about, clearly uncomfortable. "Yeah, someone did." The silence stretched out between them and Raven leaned a little closer. After a moment's hesitation she sat her hand on his upper arm.

"We don't have to talk about it Gar, it's okay." She could feel fear and pain within him as his eyes darted about. He was reliving something horrible and she was sorry she had brought it up at all.

"No, I . . . I want to share things with you Rae." His eyes settled on her face again and he took a deep breath. "My parents . . . after they died I was . . . alone. I was seven and I didn't know what I . . . where I should go. There wasn't anyone to go to. So I just . . . hung out with animals. I would become a stray dog at night to go into town to find things to eat. I would be whatever I happened to feel like being during the day. And . . . one day I was a lion cub. There was a pride that tolerated me and I could play with the young. It was nice. And there was meat. I remember thinking I shouldn't take the meat, that it was weird that it was just . . . there like that. But I was hungry and I . . . I wanted it. Before I knew what happened I realized that I was in a cage. Poachers . . . they were catching cubs to sell as pets. Imagine how shocked they were when the cub they caught turned into a boy." He laughed humorlessly, shaking his head. "Even though I wasn't a lion cub . . . they didn't let me go. They sold me. Just like the animals they had caught. They sold me to another criminal they knew. And . . . he used me to . . . do things. Sometimes just to steal. Sometimes . . . sometimes things that were real bad. I never wanted to do any of it and . . . I've always been stubborn. The older I got, the more I fought back. The more difficult I was . . . the more I needed to be reprimanded. So . . . yeah, that's the story of my scars."

"I didn't know," Raven whispered softly, mostly just to have something to say so he wouldn't take her silence for disgust.

"I don't like to talk about it. I try not to even think about it really. It was a long time ago and it's . . . over. I mean . . . I'm fine now. No point in dwelling." Part of him wasn't fine though. The empath could see the scars that had been left on his mind and heart just as well as she had seen the long since healed whelps on his back.

"Ask me your question," she told him, wanting to draw his mind away from the brooding thoughts that she had triggered.

"Oh! You would've been off the hook if you hadn't said something. I totally forgot," he laughed again, the sound far more genuine than before. "Before I ask, I just wanna remind you that I can't help the things I smell or that I'm instinctually aware of." Internally Raven winced, his question must be a doozey. "When you were explaining what Priestess did to everyone you said that she'd used magic to . . . to trigger you to ovulate."

"Yes."

"But . . . ummm . . . you don't have . . . a cycle. In all the time I've known you, you've never once ovulated or even menstruated for that matter." The empath turned a bright red. "It's not that I'm trying to . . . know things like that! It's just something I'm aware of . . . for everyone of course, not just you."

"I understand," she managed to reply despite her discomfort.

"So I . . . I guess my question is . . . how does . . . how do you . . . geez. How is it you don't have a cycle and yet were able to conceive?"

"Some of my . . . internal functioning is more demonic than human. Demons don't menstruate. In demons ovulation isn't a thing that automatically happens every so often. It's an action that's triggered by . . . factors." She cleared her throat, hoping the answer would be enough to sate his curiosity. She should have known better.

"What factors?" Raven was tempted to fain ignorance. Her lack of a quick response gave the changeling's mind time to wonder. "Is it sex? Are you saying you would ovulate every time you had sex?"

"No . . . it's a little more complex than that."

"Oh!" He plowed on, not giving her a moment to collect her thoughts to begin to explain. "Is it like with guys? It's like a thing that happens when you c . . ."

"Just, give me a moment!" She insisted a bit too loudly. She took a deep breath and shook her head. "It's complicated."

"Sorry . . . take your time."

"Demon reproduction is . . . actually pretty one-sided. A male demon that has . . . coupled with a female actively causes ovulation if he deems her worthy enough to spawn with. It's a mixture of magic and certain physical ques that I'd rather not get into right now."

"So you can't control your own ovulation but some random demon dude could?"

"That's right."

"That's crazy!" He threw his hands into the air, his eyebrows bunching together. "And what if you want to have babies with someone other than a demon?"

"Barring some extremely strange situation . . . like our own . . . I wouldn't be able to."

"We're really lucky," he told her softly and she looked up into his face, thinking she must have misheard him. He saw her confused and somewhat perturbed expression and he smiled, shifting a little closer to her. "I'm sorry that you got hurt Rae and I'm sorry that there are people out there that still want to hurt you and the baby. But never, ever will I be sorry that Bug exists. I already love him or her so much. And actually seeing them today . . . it made that feeling stronger. I felt like the luckiest guy alive when I saw that tiny profile."

"You . . . love Bug already?" She had meant to squash his silly nickname for their child, but somehow the name tumbled from her lips with an unsettling ease.

"Of course. It's my kid." He chuckled but the sound dried up quickly when he saw her lips twitch downward. She reach behind her shoulder, then remembered she hadn't slipped her cowl on. She wanted to hide. "Raven . . . when I looked away from the monitor and I looked into your eyes . . . I saw things there. I know you were feeling something."

"I felt intrigued . . . almost fascinated," she told him, her eyes moving down to the comforter, her pallid fingers picking at a loose thread. "I felt glad that it looks healthy. That's all though."

"Listen to me." He hooked a finger under her chin and tilted her head so he could see her deep amethyst eyes. "You spent a long time learning not to acknowledge what you feel and you're so good at it that you only get the watered down version of emotion. The rest just stays under the surface, in your subconscious. But it's there Rae . . . I know it is."

"You try so hard to see the good in people that sometimes you see things that aren't really there," she told him, pulling away from him to look back down at his comforter.

"Sometimes," he agreed softly, catching her chin again. "But that's not the case when I look at you. I know you Raven. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say I know you better than anyone else ever has." That was a bold statement and the empath blinked a couple times, trying to decide if this was true or not. He was so . . . there. He'd always encroached on her personal space. He had always pushed and prodded and weaseled his way into her thoughts. He watched her, he was aware of her even as the other Titans ignored her out of respect for the solitude she insisted she craved. She built walls and he climbed right over them every time.

"That wouldn't be much of an accomplishment," she finally said, closing her eyes instead of pulling away. No one could really know her, not even the persistent changeling.

"A matter of opinion, I guess," Gar replied softly, fighting the urge to argue that it was an accomplishment. And a hard won accomplishment at that. He studied her up-turned faced in the low light of the lamp. She felt his intense scrutiny and opened her eyes, a blush rising to her cheeks. "Raven?"

"What?"

"I know you aren't scared to be alone . . . just . . . if you don't want to be alone, you don't have to be. Not tonight or any night from now on." She scooted away from him, scowling down at her bare feet.

"Just because I'm having a baby that you share a genetic bond with . . . that doesn't mean we're suddenly dating." She expected anger or hurt from him and was surprised when she felt amusement and a vague sensation of something else she couldn't quite place at first. Something that was similar to the affection she often felt from him, but slightly tainted with sadness. Was it pity?

"I know. I wasn't asking you to sleep with me like that." Again that feeling that she was becoming more certain was pity. "We don't even have to sleep side by side. I'll sleep in the floor if you want." Stronger the feeling grew and she looked back up at him.

"What are you thinking?" She demanded evenly.

"Just that, I know that everything might be overwhelming and . . ."

"No . . . I don't want you to explain your offer Garfield. I want to know what you're thinking." He just stared at her for a moment, his forehead creasing slightly. Eventually he made a soft "oh" sound and smiled.

"Because you know what I feel but not what I think . . . is that right?"

"Yes."

"That must be weird and confusing sometimes. It has to get pretty muddled." He nodded as if she replied and closed the space between them again. "Honestly . . . I was thinking that it was a bit . . . ummm . . . childish of you to jump to the conclusion I was angling for sex. I was thinking how innocent you seem sometimes and how part of me really likes that about you. Another part feels bad for you. I feel bad that you're nearly twenty years old and lack the experience to tell the difference between a friendly gesture and out right flirting." He smiled sadly down on her and she stared back up, unsure what she should say. Part of her wanted to rally against the fact he had just called her childish. He, Garfield Logan, king of childishness. A larger part of her though was thankful that he was willing to voice his thoughts for her, giving more depth to the emotions than she usually had.

"Thank you," she mumbled after a couple minutes.

"We're going to have to do this more," he told her with surprising enthusiasm. "I can't believe I didn't think of it before."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You don't know what people think . . . only what they feel. And even though I bet the major emotions are pretty easy to identify . . . it's gotta get really confusing. There's so many kinds of anger. So many types of love. So many varieties of every emotion, not to mention when they get all mixed together. It's probably like a big puzzle and guessing game all in one, trying to decipher it all."

"Sometimes," she admitted begrudgingly. "What does that have to do with any . . ."

"So . . . I'm great at feeling stuff! And I'm great at talking about the stuff I'm feeling. I have to think about things to make me feel emotions and then I can tell you what I'm thinking about so that you can match up the thoughts with the emotions. Awesome, right?"

"And this will help me how exactly?"

"You'll know more about emotion, about the why behind those feelings."

"I'm fairly accomplished at blocking out other's emotions. I usually only feel the slightest ghosts of emotions unless I'm choosing to be more aware of them."

"Okay, but don't you think a deeper understanding of emotions will help you understand your own emotions a bit better too?" Her lips twitched slightly and he knew she was considering the possibility.

"I'm tired Gar. I think I'm going to go back to bed."

"I'll walk you," he offered, nodding. The changeling stood and offered his hand. She allowed him to hold it briefly as he pulled her gently to her feet. Quietly they walked down the hallway, his hand on her lower back. He opened the door for her and Raven walked into the room, turning to look at him once more. "Come get me if you need me . . . even if you just can't sleep," he whispered and she nodded. "Goodnight Rae."

"Goodnight."

* * *

At about the same time Raven finally drifted off into a troubled sleep, firelight blazed as a group of men, all naked except for wreathes of holly upon their head, deer antlers sprouting form either side, danced. There were thirteen, all moving in carefully practiced and graceful tandem. A large circle of people surrounded them, their faces barely lit by the fire's glow. A few played drums, a lone flute providing a haunting melody. Soft voices sang, the only word in their song the name of their deity.

"Trigon, Trigon, Trigon," they sang, swaying to the beat of the drums, their eyes honed on the men as they lunged and twirled around the fire.

"Children!" A voice suddenly called and the singing faded, though the flute and drums played on. The men continued to leap. Priestess emerged from the group, coming to stand in the center of the circle. "On this night of the full moon we sing praises to Trigon! True Master!"

"Master!" The group exclaimed, agreeing hardily with her statement.

"We praise His holy name and lament that He has yet to join us! We lift out faces to the moon and weep that we must spend another night longing for His company. But soon Children, Trigon will enter our world!" The circle of people cried out excitedly and Priestess smiled. "I have prayed to Him and He has spoken unto me. His Holy Daughter, crestfallen that defect prevented Her from helping Trigon ascend, rallies her strength. She prepares a way. Our Holy Lord will sit on his earthly throne . . . this year." The group descended into hysterics for a moment, joyous sobs filling the night air. "Listen Children . . . listen. We must be dutiful. We must do our part. I pray each day and He speaks to me. He tells me what we must do. And, his faithful servant, I prepare. Come forth, Chosen . . . come forth and be blessed," from the crowd six women appeared. Each wore a flowing crimson robe. Each was young, with dark hair and a fair complexion.

"Priestess," each girl cooed as their leader approached, kissing each on the forehead. Priestess came back to the shortest of the group of women, kissing her forehead once more, stroking a hand down her black hair.

"Are you ready to serve Trigon?" She asked the diminutive girl, the other five girls softly muttering displeasure at not being chosen.

"I'm ready! I live to serve Him."

"And are you afraid?" Priestess asked softly.

"To die for Trigon is to live forever," the girl said with only the slightest tremor in her voice.

"That's right Darling. That's right. Remove your robe." The girl did as she was told, letting the deep red garment fall to the ground. The men stopped dancing and the drums fell silent. All that was left was the lone, mournful flute. Every set of eyes were upon the girl, her body utterly bare, her pale skin seeming to nearly glow in the firelight. Priestess reach out again, stroking a hand over the woman's hair before dropping her fingertips lower. Slowly she caressed her protruding middle. "There is no greater honor," Priestess told her followers, pulling her silver dagger from the folds of her own robe.

"All hail Trigon!" The group bellowed as the blade began its work and the woman began to scream. "All hail Trigon!" They chanted as the woman was covered in red once more, this time her own blood.


	8. The Present

8)

The Present

The next day was a rainy one. Dark clouds obscured the sky, an endless rhythm of raindrops on glass and metal filling the stillness of the Tower. Though the day had started out dreary, it hadn't started out bad. The first half of the day had, in fact been a pretty good one. Raven had awoken with the dawn, a habit that she usually didn't break even after a restless night. Despite the rain she had gone up to the roof, creating a shield with her dark energy to protect her from the pelting rain and meditated for an hour. When she entered the common area again she found Beastboy in the kitchen, cooking breakfast. The empath settled on a barstool and watched as he scrambled "eggs" that came from a carton. Despite the felonious nature of the substance in the frying pan, the aroma that filled the kitchen was pleasant and she was happy enough to accept the plate he handed her a short time later. They ate in companionable silence and then retreated to the common room once more. Raven read as the changeling watched TV, the volume so low the girl could barely hear it at all.

Soon the rest of the Titans made their way into the common area, Cyborg heating up the stove to make a much more meat centered breakfast for the group. The empath ate breakfast again, her plate loaded with bacon and strawberry jam, which she seemed to be using as a sort of dipping sauce. Beastboy grumbled softly to himself, torn between the innate instinct to ensure she was well fed and his very human disdain at the idea of his kid being exposed to so much dead animal. In the end he simply bit his lip, deciding to be happy that she was eating. Perhaps he would bring up the meat issue later, when they were alone and it wasn't as likely to turn into a fight.

After breakfast the team moved into the training room. Robin had scheduled training every Thursday morning for years and the group naturally migrated to the training area. The nice thing about the Thursday training session was that it was always more relaxed, each individual could pick what they wanted to do, so long as it was physical. So Cyborg lifted weights while Starfire and Robin sparred, seemingly just as an excuse to be in contact with each other. Beastboy began the session by running on the treadmill, but he became bored quickly, his eyes wondering to Raven. She probably could have gotten away with doing absolutely nothing. She was on hiatus after all. Still, the pale skinned empath was not just sitting about reading. She stood on a slightly cushioned mat, moving gracefully through yoga positions.

"Can I join you?" He asked, bounding up to where she stood, his legs feeling like they should still be running.

"If you want," she replied softly, her eyes opening briefly to glance at him.

"Cool," he moved to stand beside her, mimicking her movements. They shifted through several positions, the only sound the rain and the occasional grunt of one of their teammates as they sparred. "This is nice."

"Ummhumm," Raven agreed, trying to concentrate on her breathing.

"So . . . I was thinking, maybe this weekend we could go to the mall and pick out some things for Bug. A crib and all."

"No," she murmured, shifting her body again. The changeling followed her lead, sighing loudly.

"Why not?"

"Think about it . . . two Titans shopping for baby furniture . . . the tabloids would have a field day."

"Yeah, I guess they would." Green lips quirked downward, but quickly arched back up into a smile. "We can go in disguise! Cy's been working on holorings for . . ."

"Honestly, it will just be easier to order everything online."

"I wanted to pick things out together." His voice was teetering dangerously close to a whine.

"We can. We'll look together."

"Yeah, okay." The pair stood up straight, Raven apparently finished. She eyed the boy beside her in a way that appeared critical, her eyes almost cold. He was about to ask her what he had done when her expression softened some.

"Should we split a pizza for lunch?"

"Absolutely! What do you want on it?"

"Pineapple and spinach."

"Oh," he blinked at her for a moment, his smile eventually growing. It was weird, but it wasn't meat. "Sounds great."

* * *

Pineapple and spinach turned out not to be great, but the changeling was happy enough to pick the pineapple off as he watched Raven enjoy her meal. She ended up eating three and a half pieces, a record for the petite Titan. Shortly after lunch she began to doze lightly on the couch, Beastboy covering her with a throw blanket before leaving the common room. He needed to talk to Robin.

Beastboy found Robin walking down the hallway on the bedroom wing of the Tower. The youngest Titan knew that he would find his leader here. He also knew exactly what the other man had been doing prior, the smells that hung in the air around him blaring to the changeling's sensitive nose.

"Can I talk to you Robin?" Beastboy asked, rubbing at his nose with the back of his hand.

"Sure," the masked man smiled slightly, clearly in a good mood.

"I want to talk to you some about . . . about when the baby comes. About what that's going to mean for us . . . as a team." He took a deep breathe to steady himself, but regretted it, coughing at the cloying smell of sex. Robin tilted his head slightly at him, watching as his eyes watered.

"I hope you aren't coming down with something," he commented as the changeling cleared his throat loudly. Green eyes narrowed slightly, wondering if the other man honestly didn't know what had irritated him.

"Nah, just had a . . . tickle in my throat. Anyway . . . I need to know, is Raven still going to be welcome on the team after the baby comes?"

"Do you think she'll even want to be on the team after that?" Robin countered, beginning to walk again.

"Dude . . . don't turn it around. If she wants to be a Titan, will she still be welcome?"

"Can you think of a reason I wouldn't want her on the team?" The black haired man asked, still not directly answering the question.

"Yes, but I'm not gonna list them for you. Be straight with me Rob . . . it's important."

"To be completely honest . . . I'm still considering. Once the baby comes, someone will have to watch it. We can't rightly leave an infant while all five of us go out."

"Of course not."

"That means we'll always be a member short. And that's dangerous. It makes more sense to replace either Raven or yourself with a new team member. Don't you agree?"

"I don't know," Beastboy replied honestly. "I mean . . . couldn't we bring on another member and still keep both me and Rae?"

"I could. But again . . . I think the real question is will Raven honestly want to be a Titan anymore?"

"You know that if she leaves . . . I'm going with her, right?"

"I understand," Robin nodded, pausing to look out the long window at the end of the hall. "I can't help but think this is coming to an end anyway."

"What do you mean?"

"I just mean that we're getting older. I never meant for the Teen Titans to be a permanent thing. It was always a jumping off point. A transition from being a sidekick to hero."

"When were you going to tell the rest of us that?" Beastboy grumbled, shaking his head.

"I think everyone . . . most everyone, already knew that Beastboy." Robin smiled sadly, his eyes following the sea gulls that flew around the tower, ignoring the pelting rain. He turned his head in surprise when he heard a low, rumbling growl rise from his team mate.

If Robin had learned nothing else from Batman, he had learned how important it was not to let your personal opinion color your perception of others. Fact, not feeling should always form your impressions. It was something that he thought himself accomplished at. He loved his friends like family, but he never forgot what they were. Raven was half demon and occasionally prone to erratic behavior. Though he trusted her as much as he'd ever trusted anyone, he never ignored a change in her routine or demeanor. Cyborg was a . . . well cyborg. And as all technology was, he was vulnerable to tampering. And so there were secrets that the boy wonder would never share with the mechanical man. Starfire was alien. She didn't know her own strength and was impulsive and emotional. Robin loved her and would gladly die for her, but he never fooled himself into thinking she was completely harmless. But somehow with Beastboy it was different. He seemed so . . . benign. He was good-natured to a fault, endlessly smiling. Constantly joking. Though Robin had seen him turn into hulking, dangerous creatures, it was almost as if . . . he was never really those things. It was just a shape he took on for a minute or two, the goofy kid still underneath. In that moment as his eyes settled on the changeling, Robin realized just how wrong he had been.

Beastboy had frozen mid step, his right foot hanging in the air, his ears had jerked forward, his eyes seeming to stare at nothing and everything all at once. His nostrils flared and the muscles in his back tensed, like a jungle cat about to pounce. There was an intensity to him that Robin had never imagined the changeling could possess. Fear ran coldly up his back for just a moment, but those burning green eyes were not focused on him.

"Beastb . . ."

"Shhh!" He hissed and then snapped his teeth together in what seemed vaguely like a threat. Another guttural growl reverberated in his chest, his shoulders bunching and pulling taunt. The ears that had been at ridged attention lowered slightly in clear aggression. "Someone's in the tower." He said it so fast that it seemed like one word. A second later he was racing down the hallway, Robin chasing after him with no hope of matching his pace.

Robin could hear snarls coming from the common room and he sped up, Starfire darting past him, flying at top speed, having heard the commotion. The caped man had expected to see Beastboy fighting a horde of villains based on the noise he was making, but when he entered the common room there was only Raven who sat holding her chest with her left hand, clearly agitated by the emotional charge that even he could feel. Starfire hovered in the corner, staring down at the changeling who was all but roaring now, lowered to his haunches in front of the couch where Raven sat. The stooped state was one he often adopted, but Robin could not recall it looking so menacing before. It wasn't a relaxed stance like it usually seemed, but a coiled spring ready to strike with deadly speed and accuracy.

"Friend Beastboy, are you unwell?" Starfire asked loudly, her eyes wide and confused.

"Someone was here," Raven panted, not sure if she knew this or if the changeling's screaming anxiety had tricked her senses. The explosion of feeling had been so sudden and unexpected that she couldn't completely untangle herself from him.

"In my Tower?" Cyborg asked as he entered the room in a jog. "There's no way, there would have been a hundred . . ."

"Look," Beastboy grunted, his voice gravely. He stretched from his crouch to take a step toward the kitchen. On the table a large, brightly wrapped gift set, a pink and blue ribbon adorning the lid. He took a couple more steps toward the box, his nostrils flaring. His pupils contracted into pinpoints and he growled again.

"What is it?" Robin asked, pulling out his bo staff.

"Get Raven out of here," Beastboy said, not taking his eyes off the box.

"What is it Beastboy?" Robin insisted again, coming closer to the cheery looking package.

"Get her out of here," the changeling repeated.

"Well, it isn't a bomb or anything mechanical for that matter," Cyborg said after scanning the box with a sensor built into his arm. "There's no metal, no plastic, no . . ."

"Get her out!" Beastboy thundered, showing sharp teeth to his male team mates. "Make Star take her to her room! Make them leave! Now!"

"I am wanting to see . . ." Starfire began, but she fell silent at the seething glare the changeling gave her as he whirled upon her.

"You don't wanna see. You don't. Take Raven out of the room." He spoke a bit more kindly than he had to the men, perhaps because the girl had shrunk back slightly at seeing the nearly feral look in his eyes.

"I will take Raven. We will be in my bedroom." As for Raven herself, she seemed too distraught to comment. She allowed Starfire to lead her away without argument.

"What is it Man?" Cyborg asked after the women had exited the room.

"Something human. Something dead."

* * *

Cyborg pulled the lid off the box slowly, revealing blue and pink tissue paper. With the lid removed the sickly smell of rot assaulted all three noses. On top of the tissue paper a card sat, the words "Congratulations!" stenciled in large pastel letters. A large image of a rattle with a green bow beneath the word. Carefully the cybernetic man picked up the card and opened it. There was a hand written message in what appeared to be Latin filling the right side of the card. The card was set aside on the plastic sheet that Robin had spread out to protect the table from the contents of the box.

"God it stinks," Cyborg muttered, trying to steel himself for what was going to be revealed when he pulled back the innocent looking tissue paper.

"Just do it already," Robin said, putting a gloved hand over his mouth and nose. Cyborg nodded and pressed his lips firmly shut, pulling the paper aside. All three men gasped as the paper was lifted, exposing what lay beneath to their eyes.

"Holy Mary, Mother of God," Cyborg whispered, crossing himself. It wasn't something he had done since he was a boy and his mother had taken him to mass on Sunday. The act seemed the only appropriate response though.

"Sick bastards," Robin bit out, his face twisting into a grimace of utter disgust. Beastboy retch loudly, fighting the nearly overpower urge to vomit. He ripped his eyes away from the box and the form within. He couldn't look at the pitiful thing that lay against a bed of cheerful tissue paper. Again his stomach heaved, his lungs following suit as a sob tried to tear its way from his throat. He rushed to the trashcan, losing what was left of his imitation scrambled eggs. Weeping and vomiting at the same time was a beyond uncomfortable, but he couldn't stop either act. Internally he berated himself, demanding he pull himself together. He had to be strong. He had to stop this and go find Raven and Bug. He needed to see them, to confirm they were alright. To reassure himself that the slowly decomposing fetus in the box was not his baby. He gagged, shaking his head slightly. The baby wasn't Bug, but it was a baby. A baby that had been nestled inside a womb, alive and well not so long ago.

"I'm gonna . . . take it to the lab," Cyborg finally muttered, casting a concerned glance toward the changeling.

"Find out all you can, as quick as you can," Robin told him, moving to were the youngest Titan stood, both hands still gripping the trashcan tightly. "You need to calm down Beastboy. You're nearly hyperventilating."

"Why?" He managed between ragged breathes and heaving stomach cramps.

"I don't know, but we're going to figure it out. We're not going to let them hurt Raven or the baby, I promise you."

"H-how can you . . . promise? They . . . were friggin' in here. They . . . were in . . ." His lungs were heaving again. Raven had been asleep on the couch. And they had been right there. Close enough to . . . to have done anything.

"We'll figure out how they got in here so it won't happen again." Robin lay his hand on the boy's shoulder, trying to calm and reassure him. The changeling shrugged his hand away, retreating from the trashcan to stumble back toward the common room. For a moment he just stood, trying to smell the intruder above the scents of decay and vomit. There was nothing and he growled again.

* * *

Three hours later all five Titans stood in the medical bay, Robin having assembled them for a debrief. Though both girls had been spared seeing the contents of the box it was not realistic to keep the information from them. A cloud of foreboding hung over the group, no one speaking as Cyborg moved to the front of the room, Robin joining him.

"So . . . we all know what happened earlier today." Cyborg began, shaking his head. "I did an analysis on the body and I see no . . . sign of defect or disease that would have led to miscarriage. There were a few slight . . . lacerations that led me to the conclusion that the fetus was cut from its mother's womb."

"There have been no reports in the last seventy-two hours of any attacks on a pregnant woman or abductions in the last two weeks." Robin added, moving to stand beside Cyborg. "Which probably means that this woman and child came from inside the cult."

"The fetal age is the same as Raven's own child, give or take a couple days."

"Which suggests this was completely premeditated. The card was indeed written in Latin. It's verses from the New Testament. 'And fear came on all that dwelt round about them: and all these sayings were noised abroad throughout all the hill country of Judaea. And all they that heard them laid them up in their hearts, saying, What manner of child shall this be?' Luke 1:65 and 1:66."

"They're quoting Scripture? A demon cult is quoting the Bible?" Beastboy asked with equal amounts of confusion and disgust.

"Most demon based cults strive to pervert Christianity in one way or another. On Earth the concept of demons is exceptionally entangled with the Christian faith," Raven told them, pulling her cowl about herself tighter, her face hidden in shadow.

"But how did they get in here?" The changeling questioned, voicing his deepest concern at last.

"Well . . ." Cyborg began with clear doubt, "I'm still not sure . . ."

"They were never actually in the Tower," Raven interrupted softly, drawing the group's attention. "If someone had actually been that close to me I would have sensed their presence."

"Someone was there! I sensed them and I was on an entirely different floor!"

"Did you smell them or hear them?" Raven asked evenly.

"Not exactly either. I just . . . felt it."

"What you felt was the magical occurrence that transported the box into the kitchen. Your animal senses are naturally more in tune with supernatural disturbances. An actual person would have triggered Cyborg's security system. I would have picked up on any emotions or unfamiliar auras. This was just a message, I was never in any actual danger."

"What was in that box was a very clear threat Rae," Beastboy reminded, the hair on the back of his neck standing on end.

"I agree," Robin stated, taking control of the meeting again. "Do you know how they managed to use magic to transport the box into the Tower?"

"It wouldn't be that difficult," Raven replied.

"We've had magical foes before and we've never gotten any nasty surprises," Robin pointed out, leaning a little closer to her. "Don't you have protection spells on the Tower?"

"Yes, but only in certain areas. This building is huge, it would be exhausting for me to protect the entire thing day in and day out. It isn't possible."

"And the common room isn't one of those areas?"

"Don't you dare interrogate her!" Beastboy snapped loudly. "This isn't her fault!"

"I'm just trying to understand how this happened."

"Then figure it out! Just don't talk to my . . . to Raven like she's anything other than a victim."

"I apologize if I came across as accusatory. Raven's safety is my first concern as well. It's everyone's first concern." Starfire and Cyborg murmured agreements to Robin's words.

"It doesn't feel safe here anymore," the green Titan sighed, his eyes closing for a moment.

"This is one of the safest places on Earth BB," Cyborg reassured, but the other shook his head.

"Then that means nowhere is safe."


	9. Front Page News

9)

Front Page News

Three weeks. Strange how much could change in so short a time. Raven lay on her left side, eyes opening slowly. She yawned and with a grunt pushed herself into a sitting position, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. She extended her right foot, feeling about in the darkness. Her toes connected lightly with something warm and furry. Instantly the fuzziness shifted to the side so she could plant both feet firmly on the floor. A soft, quizzical whine drifted from the darkness as the empath made her way to the bedroom door.

"Have to use the bathroom," she replied to the nonverbal question. Before she could reach the door it opened, her now constant companion taking on his natural state to usher her through after glancing about in the low lit hallway. Her lips parted to tell him he was being ridiculous, but closed them again. Caution seemed far more prudent these days.

They had argued for three days straight about his new intensity when it came to her well-being after the "present" came. She had insisted that she'd never really been in any sort of danger and his behavior was beyond extreme. Stubbornly he had stood his ground. Back and forth they went, fighting as loudly and viciously as they had when they'd both been new to the Titans and new to each other. They seemed nearly approaching a physical altercation when the second "gift" came. A dead raven, a purple ribbon tied about its neck. The poor, strangled creature had come in a bright green gift bag that had appeared just inside the entrance to the Tower. There wasn't a card as with the first package, but a local tabloid newspaper, the headline nearly as upsetting as the bird.

Naysayer Exclusive!

Titan Demoness' Absence Explained!

"Hero" Fulfills Demonic Destany

Due to Deliver Satan's Unholy Spawn on Christmas Eve!

Within days the letters began. Ugly, hateful notes addressed to Raven. Concerned demands addressed to Robin. Envelopes full of salt, holy water, and crucifixes became common place, the ignorant senders thinking these things could hurt the empath. Reporters and paparazzi showed up anytime the Titans were in the city, shouting questions. Gawkers frequented the ocean water as close to the Tower as they could get without being considered trespassers. Sometimes large pontoons would settle just beyond the little island, full of people. A man on a bullhorn would shout Scripture and prayers. They would shout about the end of the world and about repentance. Raven could no longer go to the Tower's roof to meditate. Someone had snapped a couple pictures of her, confirming her condition. A rather flattering picture of the girl in the lotus position hovering above the building began to appear everywhere. Despite how simple and innocent the picture honestly was, it was labeled as "proof" of the demon praying to her "unholy master". Robin had taken Beastboy off of patrols after an ill-fated incident with a live news feed and his liberal use of the f-word. Their leader had instructed the team to say nothing at all or "no comment" to all the questions the reporters shouted. And as a group they had done just that for two weeks. Until a pushy reporter had managed to shove a microphone into Beastboy's face as he made his way back from assisting with putting out a fire in an apartment complex. He'd saved two children and was singed and tired. He was in no mood for the shouting people that were keeping a respectable distance back from the group. And then the clearly artificially blonde woman was right in his path, shoving the silver microphone so close that it nearly touched his nose. Then she asked about the picture of Raven that had been circulating. She asked how long he'd known that she worshipped Satan. In that moment, something within him snapped. The overly perky news woman had no idea how close she'd come to being mauled. Instead of attacking her the changeling had answered her question in a way that was far too colorful for daytime TV. The tirade had been played over and over, his more vibrant words bleeped out.

"Are you that (bleep) stupid? It's called (bleep) meditation! A million (bleep) people (bleep) do it all over the (bleep) world! (Bleep) Lady! It's got nothing to do with (bleep) Satan! Read a (bleep) book!"

Robin had not been amused and had lectured Beastboy for two hours straight on upholding the Titan image and being above all else, a hero at all time while in the public eye. Heroes did not screech f-bombs at reporters, no matter how rude they were. Raven though couldn't help but feel pleased with the changeling. He was defending her instead of ignoring the accusations like the others did. It helped to soften the tension that had been developing between them. In the last week she had stopped fighting against his insistence to stay in her room at night. She said nothing about his constant presence and to her own surprise, she was glad he was there.

* * *

Silently he followed her in the form of a green German Shepard as she visited the bathroom and then went into the kitchen, pouring herself a large cup of apple juice. They sat together on the couch, both sets of eyes drawn to the lights of a boat, distant sounds of gospel music disrupting the night.

"It's chilly tonight," she told the changeling, who was now a serval, his tail twitching. "They have to be uncomfortable." His vocalization seemed as smug as a cat could sound and she sighed. "They're just afraid. People are afraid of things they don't understand."

"Then they should try harder to understand," he replied after relaxing back into his natural form.

"The world has never worked that way Gar." She pulled her eyes away from the window, curling her legs beneath herself and turning sideways. "I don't want to think about it," she told him as his mouth opened, resentment wafting off him. He felt betrayed. They'd spent years protecting Jump City only to have its citizens turn on them.

"I don't either. It's just hard to think of anything else."

"Give me your hand," she commanded softly and he complied, setting his bare hand in her own. Raven guided it to the left side of her growing middle, pressing his palm firmly against the mound. "Do you feel it?"

"Yeah," he replied dreamily, pressing a bit more firmly. Beneath his hand he could feel the slight movement of his child. His smile grew and he laughed lightly. "Bug sure is squirmy."

"Especially at night," she told him with a slight nod. "Or maybe I'm just more aware of it when I'm still."

"Could be." His ears twitched, hearing the feedback of a bullhorn turning on. That meant it was exactly three in the morning. The "godly man" that was always shouting at ungodly hours seemed to think three a.m. held some magical, negative connotation.

"The devil's hour is upon us . . . pray with me brothers and sisters as we . . ." Raven's head turned slightly at the sound. She wasn't able to hear the words, though the sound was enough to let her know the preacher was preaching again. Gar was shaking his head at whatever was being said and she lay her hand on top of his, drawing his attention again.

"Think of your mother for me," she requested and he nodded eagerly. Though Raven had been less than receptive to his idea of talking out feelings, she had begun to request he do so in the last week. It gave her something to focus on other than the negative cloud of emotion hovering over the city.

"I'm thinking about . . . how my mom would read to me at night. Every night she sat with me in my bed and read." Happiness, love, and contentment radiated from him at the memory. "She read for pleasure a lot . . . like you Rae. She read and I'd come curl up close beside her and ask what she was reading. I know it had to bother her sometimes, but she always took the time to tell me a little about her book." Happiness mellowed slightly and a wistful longing took the place of contentment. "I miss that. I'm thinking about . . . now I'm thinking about how much you make me think of my mom sometimes. I'm thinking about how I wish I knew how to . . . how not to bother you . . . how to ask just right so you would want to share what you're reading with me just like she used to." Wistful had turned into longing and he sighed. He always let his thoughts flow naturally, allowing one thought to lead to the next. "I'm thinking about how you'll probably read to Bug. That idea makes me so happy." She felt his happiness swell again, enough to make her own heart speed up slightly.

"I will read to Bug," she confirmed and affection joined happiness.

"I'm going to sing to Bug. I'm remembering how Rita would sing to me. She didn't know any lull-a-byes so she would sing whatever she liked. I'm thinking about how she made me feel so safe . . . so safe after I thought I'd never feel safe again." He felt a very similar love for Rita as he did for his mother. It was not exactly the same, but it was certainly no less. "Do you know any lull-a-byes Rae?"

"No, I learned chants as a child . . . I wasn't sang to." She expected to feel sadness or pity. She expected sympathy or maybe even mild anger at those who had raised her. Instead a complex mixture of emotion that included none of these things rose from him. It was powerful enough that she found herself shifting her body weight. She intended to lean back, but somehow he was like a magnet and she found herself tilting slightly forward. "What are you thinking?" She asked, her usual monotone slipping a little so that he could hear the nervous uncertainty in her voice.

"I'm thinking . . ." he leaned forward as well and sighed loudly. His breath caressed over her skin and gooseflesh rose on her arms. "I'm thinking about how I want to sing to you Raven."

"That can't be all you're thinking," she said in a whisper when he added nothing more. Again his warm breath brushed past her face, this time in the form of a chuckle.

"It can be," he told her.

"Singing doesn't make anyone feel . . . so much."

"What I'm feeling has nothing to do with singing." Closer he leaned, like he was going to whisper a secret. "What I'm feeling has everything to do with you Rae."

"What about me?" She whispered back and he chuckled again, the sound deeper and richer than it had been a moment before.

"You're so innocent." A new emotion joined the already jumbled collection, this one easier to label. Desire. Raven was familiar with this emotion. Desire was a common emotion, one she felt from the random people she encountered and from her team mates. It was a jagged, hot emotion that Starfire and Robin often shared. Garfield's desire was different than any she'd felt before. It had an edge to it that she couldn't help but define as animal.

"I . . ." she wasn't sure what she wanted to say. A part of her mind was telling her body to lean away, but some conflicting and stronger piece of herself kept her still, even as the changeling let his nose touch her's softly.

"Now I'm thinking that I'd really like to kiss you Rae." He paused for a long minute, his eyes slipping shut. "I won't though, not right now. You're afraid."

"I'm not afraid," she murmured, not sure why she was arguing. She was afraid, afraid of what would happen and what it would mean if she let his lips touch her own.

"I smell it," he told her gently, shaking his head so that his nose rubbed against her own. He shifted so that his forehead pressed lightly against her's. "And that isn't the scent I want you to make when I kiss you." He felt her forehead crease slightly under his own in confusion and he chuckled again. "So innocent." Raven pulled away a little now so she could see his face in the low light. His emotions had shifted again and she was struggling to understand. Desire and longing were still there, but contentment had somehow returned in equal measure. It made no sense to her.

"How is it possible to feel so much want and yet feel utterly content at the same time?" She had not planned to ask the question aloud, but it somehow tumbled from her lips.

"I'm a pretty complex guy," he replied, smiling brightly. "Honestly though, why wouldn't I be content? We're sharing something . . . a moment that I would have thought was impossible just five months ago. Actually . . . a month and a half ago I would have thought it wasn't possible." His thumb rubbed lightly at the taunt middle it was still pressed against. "You took my hand and put it here Rae."

"Just to feel the baby move."

"I know, but you didn't hesitate. Do you remember the first time I tried to touch your belly? How you pulled away? We've come so far since then." He made an odd sound, somewhere between human and animal. "I can't help but be content even in moments when I catch myself wanting more. That's how I can feel both things at exactly the same time."

"You're the embodiment of chaos," she told him softly, the words nearly playful.

"Like I said, I'm a complex guy."

"I'm ready to go back to bed," Raven said after a moment, pulling away from him and standing. She stretched, her pale hand moving to cover her mouth as she yawned.

"Me too," he agreed, returning her yawn with one of his own. Together they walked back to the bedroom wing of the Tower. Silently they slipped back into the empath's room. Raven settled in her bed again, pulling the blanket up over her shoulders. Her eyes closed and then opened again a minute later.

"Gar?"

"Yeah?" He asked from his place on her floor.

"I don't want you to get the wrong idea, but . . ." she began before trailing off, sighing softly.

"But?" Beastboy prompted after the silence had stretched out too long.

"I don't like the idea of you sleeping in the floor from now until the baby is born. You aren't a dog."

"I am sometimes."

"Anyway . . . you can . . . sleep in the bed. Just so long as you behave." A second later he pounced from the floor to the bed, making the mattress bounce.

"I won't make you regret it Rae!" He promised happily, slipping under the blanket with her. Though he hadn't said anything, he wasn't a fan of sleeping on her cold, hard floor every night. He flopped about rather dramatically for a moment, getting comfortable and Raven grunted in irritation. He stilled eventually, reaching out a hand to lightly sooth over her arm. "Night," he told her, pulling his hand back to tuck it under his pillow.

"Goodnight."


	10. Power Struggle

10)

Power Struggle

Another Thursday morning dawned rainy, a month and a half after the first unwanted gift had appeared in the Tower. Raven's sixth month of pregnancy had begun and there were beginning to be signs around the Tower to hint to the impending arrival. The furniture that had been in the room nearest Raven's own had been cleared out so the bedroom could function as a nursery. The room had been Terra's during her brief stay in Titan Tower and the empath had originally expected Beastboy to object to removing the last artifacts of the girl's presence. He had in fact not said one word against the changes, instead expressing an eagerness to paint the room and set up the baby furniture that he and Raven had together selected online. At the moment the room had a fresh coat of a soothing mint green on the walls, the color neutral to fit either gender. The changing table had been put together and the crib, still waiting to be assembled, lay against the wall opposite the window. Cyborg had promised to help Beastboy start work on the complex looking mahogany piece of furniture that evening.

That mornings training session was low key, the persistent rainy weather seeming to have drained something out of the group. Starfire entertained herself with jumping rope while Robin jogged on the treadmill and Cyborg did push-ups. As had become routine, Raven moved through stretches and yoga positions quietly. And as usual, the changeling joined her. He had learned that she appreciated quiet as she moved though the poses and lately he had respected that, but this morning his mind was full to overflowing. Since the dead raven there had been not a peep from the cult. Robin had been researching frantically and still had no leads. The lack of information had made him testy and restless. It didn't help that Jump City's residence were now nearly just as troublesome as the cult was. Cyborg had been forced to place buoys around the island with clear signs letting people know the island and Tower were private property. Still every few days a trespasser or two was caught. The police, who didn't seem as pro-Titan as they had once been, usually just fined the intrusive person and took them back to the mainland. There were a few instances the authorities had no choice but to arrest the trespassers though. There had been two men last week, both drunk and armed with rifles. There had been a small group of women with a crudely made bomb that probably would have never actually detonated. Still, the threat was clear. The everyday, god-fearing people were beginning to take matters into their own hands. After all, who wouldn't stop the birth of the Anti-Christ if they had the power?

"Rae?" Beastboy said softly, knowing she was nearing the end of her exercises. A CD was playing some upbeat tune, Starfire having paused in her fast paced jumping to cut the music on to drowned out the sounds of gospel music that had begun to blare once again. There were more pontoons now, the bay never completely empty day or night.

"What?" She snapped, her head darting towards him as she stood on one foot. The stress, combined with nagging heartburn and a poor night's sleep had made her moody.

"There's something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Imagine that. You never stop talking Garfield. We have all day you know, there's no need to interrupt me when I'm trying to focus and relax. You do understand I'm doing these stretches to prepare for childbirth, right? Even if you don't care about me I know you want your precious Bug to come out unscathed." She muttered what he assumed had to be curses in her native tongue and he fell silent. She had been having mood swings the last couple weeks. Such shifts in wellbeing were common in every pregnancy. Even in the most harmonious of pregnancies, he reminded himself. Harmony was the last word he would use to describe their experience so far. Having drunken men dragged away from your doorstep at one in the morning while shouting "Whore of Babylon" at the top of their lungs was upsetting. Finding mousy women just outside your window with cardigans, crucifixes, and a bomb they'd built using instructions they'd found online was unsettling. Raven was a prisoner in her own home and even within the fortified walls there was no guarantee of safety.

"Do you want a bottle of water?" The changeling asked kindly after Raven had clearly finished, her stance relaxed on the thin foam mat.

"Yes please," she said softly, sighing. She took the bottle from him, her left hand reaching up to grab his wrist as he started to pull away. She glanced over at her teammates, reassuring herself they were not watching the pair. "I'm sorry Gar."

"Don't worry about it."

"No, I shouldn't take things out on you. I am sorry."

"I know. Still . . . it's just all part of the experience." He smiled sincerely and cast a look over his shoulder at the others. "Dude, me and Raven are done." Robin looked up from his concentrated glare at the far wall. He glanced at the clock on the wall. There was another fifteen minutes of mandatory training left, but he couldn't bring himself to insist they stay.

"Sure, hit the showers," he said, turning back to the blank space on the wall that he had been glaring at as he ran.

"Oooo! Together?" Starfire asked with delight, never slowing in her blinding pace as she swung her rope. The alien was a hopeless romantic.

"It's just a saying Star," Beastboy told her with a laugh before following Raven out the double doors. He waited until they were halfway to the kitchen before he started to speak again. "I talked with Rita last night."

"I know. You made Starfire watch me for an hour last night remember?" Raven had not responded well to being "babysat" while her constant guardian took a little personal time.

"Maybe I should apologize for that, but I'm not gonna. There's no such thing as too careful now Rae."

"What did Rita say?" She prompted, rolling her eyes.

"She's retiring," he said after a long moment.

"Retiring? From Doom Patrol?"

"She's seriously considering it, yes."

"I didn't think Mento would ever retire," Raven admitted as they entered the kitchen. The empath opened the fridge, looking for something to snack on.

"He isn't. She's thinking of . . . leaving."

"Rita and Steve are . . . oh . . . I'm sorry to hear that Gar." She pulled her head out of the refrigerator to face him. The couple had been like parents to him and though Mento was not Raven's favorite person, she knew the changeling loved him.

"Yeah, well . . . Steve is just . . . very devoted to being a superhero. And he isn't very flexible or emotionally available. I guess it was just a matter of time." He sighed and then shrugged, leaning heavily against the countertop. "Anyway, the reason I brought it up . . . Rita said that she's going to move to some small town in the Midwest, I don't know . . . anyway she said that she thought maybe we . . . you and I . . . should come stay with her until Bug is born."

"Are you serious?"

"It's getting out of control here and . . . I mean it's like that friggin' cult turned the whole city against us and . . ."

"Against me you mean. They aren't trying to sneak into the Tower in the middle of the night to kill you after all."

"They're going to have to kill me to get to you Raven, I promise you that. I'm just saying, maybe it would be easier to just leave for a while, let this die down."

"So you think we should just run away from the problem?"

"I wouldn't call it running away exactly, just . . . hiding out for a while."

"Until it all blows over?" The empath was rooting around in the fridge again.

"Exactly," Beastboy agreed with an enthusiastic nod.

"Because things like this always blow over, right? People become convinced that the unholy mother of the Anti-Christ is among their population, but forget all about it when she disappears for a few months." She shut the appliance door loudly, a cold piece of fried chicken in her hand. She waved the drumstick at him and he back away like it was a knife. "This isn't going away! People don't just forget! Why are you always so simple and idealistic? It's maddening." She took a bite out of the chicken leg, glaring at him.

"I just don't want you or the baby to get hurt! What am I supposed to do?"

"Maybe you should just accept that _**you**_ can't do anything." She glared harder still, taking another bite out of the cold bird. Lightning fast the changeling darted, his hand jerking the drumstick right out of her hand. He growled and threw the left over chicken into the garbage can. Raven stared at him, her mouth open slightly.

"I don't want you eating meat!"

"I'll eat whatever the Hell I please! You're being incredibly petty!"

"Petty?" He roared, pulling open the refrigerator door and grabbing a large peach. He forced it into her hand. "I'm petty?"

"What's wrong Beastboy, don't know what it means?" She threw the peach at his head, but he managed to duck out of the way and it splattered with a loud thump against the wall.

"I know what petty means! And I am not . . ." he trailed off, blinking down at her like he'd suddenly forgotten what was happening. "Raven . . . what's wrong?"

"What are you talking about! You threw my chicken away and suggested we run off into the sunset and be farmers or some st . . ."

"I mean . . . we're fighting. We're fighting and nothing is happening." She seemed to shrink back into herself some, taking a step away from him. "Nothing is exploding. Nothing is sizzling or flying around the room."

"I do have some self-control," she told him sharply, frowning. There was something behind her eyes though, a fear that he easily picked up on.

"What's wrong Raven?" He insisted again, taking two strides forward until he was gripping her upper arms lightly.

"Nothing," she said sternly, but the fear was growing behind her irises.

"Tell me," he said softly, but firmly. She began to pull away, the changeling's right hand moving from her arm to the back of her neck to stop her. His fingers pressed slightly at the spot just below her head. Of all the places he had elected to touch her in the last couple months, he had avoided the flesh between her shoulders and head. There were connotations to this sort of contact that a normal human would never understand. In the animal world holding this place was a symbol of control. Of dominance. For millennia kit and cub alike had been carried by a parent's gentle grip here. Since the dawn of time males had held their mates here like an embrace during moments of passion. There had never been a time that this flesh wasn't nipped or outright bitten in power struggles between pack member and outsider alike. Even if Raven hadn't understood the meaning behind his firm pressure instinctually, she certainly would have read enough from his emotions to know there was something more, a deeper meaning to his grip.

"I'm not your bitch to be brought to heel." Her voice had dropped to nearly a whisper, the sound far more ominous than the shouts she'd indulged in just moments before. The words were hissed, her voice tainted with something inhuman.

"All week you've been an emotional rollercoaster, but there haven't been any magical outbursts," he told her, ignoring her statement. "Something's wrong. I'm pretty sure you already knew that though. What's happening with you Rae?"

"Nothing's wrong." Further her voice drifted from its usual tone, the sound strangely reverberating. "Let me go Garfield." Instead he pushed his fingers more firmly against the place he held and she responded with a strange hissing growl. Red bled into her eyes as they narrowed, a second set opening above them.

"You need to tell me. How can I help you if I don't know what's going on?"

"You can't help me. You horrid, miserable green . . ."

"Easy Rae, that's just the hormones talking. Don't say something you don't mean." She glared up at him, her lips pulling back from her teeth. In her current state they appeared deadly sharp and plenty menacing.

"This is what you understand . . . right animal?" She growled in threat, gnashing her teeth. The changeling shook his head at her and sighed.

"Hormones and stress, that's all this is." Firmer still he pressed at the tender place on her neck, feeling her stiffen and then relax some. "There now, takes some nice calming breathes and let's talk about what's happening. Just calm down." She seemed to comply after a moment, her shoulders relaxing even more, her eyes reverting to just one pair of amethyst that still shimmered with heat, but were far more subdue. A gloved thumb rubbed firm, soothing circles as a deep vibrating sound rose from his chest. It was a purr, but different from the other much more house cat like vocalizations she had heard from him before. This was more like the soothing hum of a lion. Raven took a deep breath. And then another and another. Slowly she relaxed, her hand coming up to press at his chest so she could feel the vibration of the sounds he made at the source. Her eyes closed, tight muscles finally losing their tension.

"Do you remember when Robin was questioning me about my protection spells on the Tower?" She asked evenly after a short eternity.

"Yes," he replied, pausing in his purring.

"I didn't lie but . . . I neglected to add some relevant information." She sighed, her eyes still closed. "I used to keep protection spells on the common areas, but by the time the incident occurred I couldn't anymore."

"Why not?"

"My powers had started to weaken." She felt his concern and she shook her head slightly. "I will be alright. It's the pregnancy. I hoped it wouldn't happen, but I knew it was possible."

"Why would being pregnant affect your powers at all?"

"It's like . . . cats in a way. A tom cat will kill kittens that aren't his own so that he can produce a new litter with the female. Demons are similar. A male demon would gladly force a pregnancy to end so he could impregnate a female. But what a male demon finds appealing about a female is her magical potency. So if a female is magically stunted during the latter months of her pregnancy she won't attract male attention."

"Oh." He could think of nothing more to say for a moment. He released his hold on the empath, but she didn't retreat. "How bad is it? I mean, how weak are your powers?"

"Weak enough that we were able to have one of the worst fights we've ever had and not so much as a floorboard creaked."

"Yeah . . . I'm sorry about the chicken Rae. That was over the line."

"I'm sorry too. About everything I said."

"It's already forgotten," he told her reassuringly. "Why were you so reluctant to just tell me?"

"Everything that's happening . . . the fact that I barely have the ability to protect myself now, it makes it so much worse. Not just for me, but for everyone else too. I don't want to be looked at as weak. I don't want the entire team constantly feeling like they have to protect me."

"We're your family, of course we're going to protect you, powers or no powers."

"I don't like feeling so useless. There's nothing I can do to fight against the cult or even the normal crazies that show up every so often now."

"I understand, but you don't have to be afraid. I'll keep you safe. I swear I will."

"By shepherding me off to live with Rita in some cornfield?"

"If you don't want to go we won't Rae. It was just an idea. I'll come up with something else."

"Have you had any other ideas?" The question was honest and the changeling shrugged slightly and smiled.

"I wanted to go to the press and tell them the baby is mine. I thought I'd tell them that we're a couple and it was just a thing that happened. Nothing magic at all about it, just us being young and reckless."

"No one would believe you at this point."

"Maybe not, but I wanted to do it at the very start. Robin said no. He said I couldn't fix a lie with another one and if tried I was off the team. He said it was best to just ignore the tabloids. You see how well that worked out."

"Yeah," she agreed, looking past his shoulder to where the peach managed to still cling to the wall, part of the fruit nothing but mushy goo. "I am having mood swings," she told him softly, walking around him to clean up the mess she had made. "It's very unsettling."

"I know it's gotta be. I know being out of control is really uncomfortable for you."

"I'm not in control of anything anymore," she lamented softly, wiping the last bit of peach away with a paper towel.

"That's not totally true Rae. I know the mood swings are scary, but you are still you. And your powers will come back, right?"

"Right."

"So this is just a momentary inconvenience, not a lack of control." She frowned and shook her head slightly. Her "momentary inconvenience" was, for the time being, a very real problem.


	11. Green

11)

Green

Raven had never liked going to the medical bay. It usually meant something was wrong, that she or one of her friends were seriously hurt. It was strange to be there again with a jubilant Beastboy, who was bouncing on the balls of his feet impatiently. It was hard to believe that six weeks had passed since first "well check" and that it was time for the next. The roundness of her middle and the fact she could no longer levitate more than a couple inches off the ground made climbing onto the examination table a challenge. Stubbornly she refused the changeling's help, stretching and pulling until she managed to heave herself onto the slightly cushioned table.

"I'll bring the stepstool from the kitchen next time," Garfield said, trying to be helpful. Raven just scowled at him. He had been the shortest of the group for a long time and somehow it seemed unreasonable that he had grown and she had not. To be fair she was two years older and much nearer to being done with growing when they met. Not to mention men tended to be taller. And she liked tall men. The thought came from nowhere, making her blush slightly. While the mood swings were still prevalent a new symptom of her hormonal changes had moved to the forefront of her mind, desire.

"Just leave it down here," Cyborg replied with a chuckle. "These little visits need to start happening a lot more regular. You're barreling head-long into your third trimester!"

"How often?" Raven questioned, laying back on the table without being asked.

"Oh, I think every three weeks up until the last month or so. Then every week."

"Is that really necessary?" She asked with a sigh.

"Completely," the cybernetic man assured, smiling brightly.

"We're in the home stretch now Rae. It won't be much longer until Bug is here." He looked down on her and she opened her mouth to tell him there was no "we". She was the one who couldn't see her feet anymore. He smiled brightly though and the words died on her lips. Her eyes were drawn to the sharp, white fang exposed by his under bite, a hot static shock of want sizzling in her belly, darting out to make other parts of her alight with heat.

Raven had fought the idea that Beastboy was attractive for a lot longer than most would have believed. From the moment she'd met him in fact some part of her appreciated him on an aesthetic level. He was young and horribly annoying, things which kept the concept at bay for a long time. He grew though, he became tolerable and then occasionally even pleasant. And that general appreciation for his appearance started to turn into something far more dangerous. Raven prided herself on control and sexual desire was not a sensation she felt she could both feel and control. So she repressed it. It was still there of course, she couldn't get rid of it completely, no matter how hard she tried. She had become a woman after all. A half demon woman at that and demons were notoriously lustful creatures. It was in fact the demon aspects of her genetic make-up that made the changeling so appealing in the first place. Much like a peahen found the peacock's tail delightful and the doe gravitated toward the buck with magnificent horns . . . she was genetically predisposition to look for demonic physical traits in a partner. Male demons had pointed ear and fangs. They had claw tipped fingers and skin that was often brightly colored. Creatures that had these traits plus the added bonus of not actually being a demon could be counted on one hand. Considering the astronomical odds, she would never understand how she had ended up cohabitating with one.

"Are you sure you don't wanna know what the baby is? Start buying clothes, maybe?" Cyborg asked, pulling the empath from her thoughts.

"We'll know when it's born," Gar said before she could reply and she was grateful he wasn't pushing the issue. She knew he was dying to find out.

"Alright then." The eldest Titan sighed dramatically and set to work. He measured her protruding middle, pushing lightly. With a theatric flick of his wrist he turned on his machine and once more lay the cool wand against Raven's skin. "Here's the heartbeat again," he said over the sound that filled the room. They listened for a minute and he nodded. "Still a little fast, again . . . it doesn't seem like anything to worry about. It has slowed a little, just like it's supposed to as it grows."

"That's good," Raven murmured, taking a deep breath.

"And here's baby again." The screen was pushed toward the pair, all three eyes honed intently on the image.

"Oh wow! Look how much bigger Bug is!" Beastboy gasped loudly, pointing at the screen. "Did you see that!" On the monitor a tiny ear had flickered as if hearing him. "Oh my God! The baby knows my voice! Bug knows my voice Rae!"

"I doubt the baby's ear moved just because . . ." The tiny ear moved again and the changeling cooed in delight.

"They know your voice too!" The joy he was feeling was enough to force the empath's lips to curl upward slightly into a smile. "The baby has my ears."

"It's a tiny string bean," Cyborg agreed with a hardy laugh. "Everything looks really good. All the body measurements are within normal range." He removed the wand, the image disappearing from the screen. He offered his artificial hand and helped Raven sit up. "How have you been feeling Raven? Any issues?"

"Nothing that seems abnormal. Heartburn, a lot of heartburn."

"It's okay to take a chewable heartburn tablet."

"I have been."

"Cut back on spicy or greasy foods if that isn't helping," Cyborg offered and Beastboy nodded eagerly in agreement. The empath was certain he'd bring up the topic of eating meat again soon. After their fight they had managed to have a calm discussion about her eating habits. In the end they made an attempt at compromise, with Raven not giving up meat, but agreeing she would have at least one vegetarian meal a day. That meal was usually breakfast and she often counted the meat laden breakfast that Cyborg made as "brunch" since the meal she and Beastboy shared each morning happened two or three hours prior to the rest of the team starting their day. So technically the changeling had managed nothing but incorporating a fourth meal into Raven's day.

"I will," she lied, her mind drifting to thoughts of the jambalaya that had been left over from yesterday's lunch.

"Any other issues?" The cybernetic titan inquired, raising his one eyebrow.

"Occasional mood swings I suppose." Occasional was perhaps too soft a word, but she didn't want to admit how much she was struggling with her emotions.

"That's perfectly normal. Anything else?" The empath shook her head no, but her eyes darted toward Beastboy, a fact that Cyborg didn't miss. "Dang. You know . . . I meant to grab something from my room before we came down here. There's a fetal growth chart sitting on my desk. Go grab it for me, would ya' Grass Stain?"

"Can't you?" Beastboy asked, clearly reluctant to leave Raven's side.

"I'm going to take a blood sample. She's safe Man . . . no worries."

"Okay," the changeling finally muttered, sighing. "I'll be quick." He hurried out the door, giving a long backwards glace over his shoulder as he left.

"What's going on Raven?" Cyborg asked after a moment to ensure the youngest titan was out of earshot.

"He's driving me crazy," she admitted softly, looking down at her pale hands which were folded over her rounded middle.

"I know this situation is a million miles from ideal. I can't even imagine how hard this has to be for you Raven. And I know that Beastboy is . . . I know his tenacity can be a bit much sometimes. But the guy is honestly trying his damndest. Maybe you can forgive his more irritating . . . "

"No, I didn't mean he's irritating me. I've . . ." She sighed and looked up at her friend. He was like a brother to her and she trusted both his discretion and medical opinion. "I've gotten very used to his presence. It doesn't exactly bother me."

"You like having him around," he stated with amusement.

"I didn't say that."

"Not outright . . . but in your own "Raven-y" way you just sorta did."

"Anyway, my problem is . . ." she trailed off and looked down at her hands again. "What I'm about to say . . . this has to stay between us, forever."

"Okay." He leaned slightly forward, looking concerned.

"Promise me Victor."

"I promise. What is it Raven?" There was a definite fearful edge to Cyborg's voice now.

"Lately my hormones have been causing havoc and I know that's normal but . . . there are just some things that I can't feel. That I shouldn't ever feel because the emotional connotation is too great. Eventually my powers will return just as potent as before." Raven had been forced to admit to the rest of the team that her abilities, save her empathetic nature, were virtually non-existent. It was paramount that they knew after all. "There are some boxes I just can't open. They can't be closed again."

"You're rambling and though that chart isn't exactly where I said it was, Beastboy will either find it or give up pretty quick. Best spit it out."

"Is there any kind of medication I can take to help control my hormones? Meditation helps with some of the moodiness, but not the issue I'm most concerned about. Is there something I can take that won't hurt the baby?"

"The short answer to that is no. If there were some major issue like depression or neurosis, then there are some medications, but they aren't exactly safe. There are risks. Raven, do you feel you are becoming neurotic or feeling like you may want to . . . hurt yourself?"

"No. The mood swings are unpleasant but I don't feel suicidal or honestly crazy." She looked at him imploringly wanting him to pluck her issue out of her mind so she wouldn't have to say it. After a moment she took a deep breath and pushed on. "Lately I've been feeling an unwanted amount of sexual desire and that isn't a sensation that I wish to have. I'm struggling and I feel at this point I need medical assistance." She became even more monotone than usual as she forced herself to speak the words.

"Oh. I . . . I see." There was an awkward silence and then Cyborg chuckled. The chuckle turned into a hardy laugh and if Raven had the ability his precious med lab would have imploded in on itself.

"How is that funny?"

"I'm sorry! I was just thinking about . . . about how back during the Victorian era . . . women used to get medical assistance for that problem and . . ." he shook his head, trying to regain a straight face.

"Is that medical treatment still available today?" She asked hopefully and the eldest titan exploded with laughter again.

"Why is it funny!" She demanded and he cleared his throat, shaking his head.

"I'm sorry . . . it's not . . . it's not funny Raven. You came to me with a serious issue you're having and I shouldn't laugh." Again he cleared his throat. "It's very common for women to experience heightened sexual desire at this point in their pregnancy. It's totally normal and things will go back to pretty much normal near the end of your gestation. There isn't a medicine you can take to make those feelings go away though."

"You said that there was some kind of . . ."

"I know and I shouldn't have said anything at all. At the turn of the twentieth century women did go to doctors for the issue you're having, but . . . geez . . . see, all the doctor did was use what were deemed medical tools during that time to . . . satisfy those urges." Large purple eyes were staring up at him like she had no clue what he was talking about. "You . . . you know what I mean, right?" He finally prompted, but it was clear she did not. "Maybe you should have this conversation with Starfire."

"Starfire has practically no medical experience and I highly doubt she knows anything about the Victorian Era."

"N-no . . . I'm sure she knows a good deal about being a woman though. She probably knows way more than me about ladies and their urges and all."

"She would suggest that I express or exercise those urges. I need to suppress them."

"I'm sorry Raven, but if meditation isn't working there isn't anything more you can do other than to ignore it or find an outlet."

* * *

Night had always been Raven's favorite time. The glow of the moon, the quiet of the Tower. There was peace in the nighttime hours that could never exist in the daylight. As she lay awake in her bed that night she wondered if she would ever feel the same about the blackness the world fell into again. Night was now just a convenient cover for those who would harm her. Ordinary men and women. The people she had spent years protecting. It had always been Raven's greatest fear. That the city would one day look at her and see her for what she was. A demon, an evil, untrustworthy thing that had somehow slithered up from the bowels of Hell. All the good she had done didn't matter, just as she had always suspected. Garfield could think she was an angel until the sun burnt out and it wouldn't change anything, it wouldn't make her one. Demons that did right . . . they were still demons. She sighed loudly, rolling over to look at the sleeping man beside her. She had never thought there would be a member of the male gender sharing her bed every night. Why would a man want too? She wasn't pretty and her personality was as enticing as flavorless noodles. Her skin was often chilled and her lips rarely smiled.

 _ **He's just here for the baby.**_ A dark thought provided, making her frown slightly. _**It's only natural for him, to nurture and protect. If he could have Bug without me he'd leave me to the mob with their crosses and curses.**_

 _That isn't true._ A softer inclination argued. This sort of back and forth would have made many question their sanity. The empath was accustom to such distinct internal dialogue and a fragmented perception of self. She was broken after all. The monks of Azarath had purposely caused this fragmentation. She couldn't recall what it had been like to be whole.

 _ **Oh, it's true. Once the baby comes . . .**_

 _He wanted to kiss me. He said he wanted to kiss me._

 _ **But he didn't, did he?**_

 _Because I was afraid._

 _ **Bet Terra was never afraid . . .**_ Raven bit her lip, pressing her eyes tightly closed. She wanted to cry, but she wasn't completely sure why. She hated that she wasn't sure how she felt about anything anymore. Why should she care if Garfield had ever kissed Terra? The fact the idea was making her so upset was ridiculous. Tears were forcing their way out from behind her sealed lids. This was crazy, this shouldn't matter. This was . . .

"Rae?" A sleepy voice questioned and her eyes opened. "Rae, why are you crying? Did you have a nightmare?" It would have been easy enough to just nod. She should just nod and he would say sweet things and they could go back to sleep.

"No," she murmured instead, willing her eyes to stop leaking.

"What is it?"

"H-hormones," the empath choked out, struggling with emotion and embarrassment. The statement was partly true. She knew she wouldn't be feeling so upset if not for the changes the pregnancy was causing within her body.

"Oh . . . poor Mama . . . shhhh." He pulled her into his arms, hugging her gently. It was more contact than Raven could recall ever experiencing. Her body was flush against his own, one of his hands stroking at her hair while the other wrapped lightly around her waist. Even their legs touched slightly. Raven stiffened, but he didn't release her and after a couple minutes she went limp in his embrace. "It's okay, you're safe . . . everything's okay." He continued making soft hushing noises, the fingers of his left hand tangling her hair with their endless movement. Slowly Raven quieted and he pulled back slightly to study her face in the darkness. His eyes caught the low light of the waning moon, reflecting the glow for a moment, like an animal caught in oncoming headlights.

"Gar, I . . ." What was she going to say? That she was alright and to stop fussing over her? The empath wasn't sure. That sounded like what she would say, what she probably should say. So why couldn't she say it? The changeling's head tilted a little, his ears shifting slightly forward in a way she had come to understand meant he was earnestly focusing on something. He sighed deeply, the sound strangely heady. The hand that had been in her hair moved to stroke over her face. First her forehead and then down one cheek to her sharp chin and up the other cheek to her forehead again. His thumb worried over her chakra stone, seemingly fascinated with the smooth, warm protrusion. Eventually his fingers wondered away, back down the side of her face where they paused just beside her ear. Carefully he pushed her hair back behind the shell. He repeated the action, though there was no more wayward hair to tame. From her ear his index finger skated down to her jaw, tracing lightly. A soft sound broke the silence and it took a moment for Raven to realize that it was she that had released the shuddering sigh. Heat exploded in her cheeks, her eyes slipping shut in embarrassment.

"It's alright Rae," he reassured in a whisper, his voice thicker than she could recall it ever being before. "It's okay to feel." His tickling touch drifted down, his fingertips drawing soft patterns on the skin of her elegant neck. Raven resolved to pull away, but found herself arching her neck slightly into his touch instead. Gar made a strange, very animal sound as her head tipped up. The simmering heat she had felt from him a moment before instantly burst into an inferno. His fire made the already hot ember in her chest blaze and crackle. Despite the flames that licked and leaped about, something strangely . . . sensible managed to emanate from the changeling as well. Gently he took her chin in his hand, guiding her head back to its original position. Stubbornly, the empath shook him off, tilting her head again, leaving her throat bared to him. "Do you even know . . ?" He began with some difficulty. Her eyes opened to stare up at him with what almost seemed like amusement. She knew. She knew that what she was doing was the equivalent of spreading her legs in offering. Her own frustration had hit a crescendo. Cyborg was right. She needed an outlet. She was, in fact pretty sure she would die if she wasn't provided an outlet that very instant. The tension built between them for a moment or two, but slowly she felt his resolve weaken. He leaned closer to the silvery pale skin of her throat, eyeing it a way that was so predatory Raven might have pulled away had the darkness not hidden the expression. She felt his lips, hot and moist lightly touch the place just above her left shoulder blade. His teeth touched her, experimentally. A little higher his lips ghosted and again she felt the slight pressure of his teeth. She shivered and she felt a strange triumphant joy from him. He huffed loudly through his nose and she knew he was preparing to bare down, to state his intensions just as blatantly as she was. Suddenly, the room was filled with red, flashing lights and the loud, blaring scream of an alarm. It was different than the crime alert. It was the security system.

"Kwa nini mimi?" Beastboy snarled in Swahili, exasperation and anger rolling from him in thick waves. He launched himself from the bed, Raven getting to her feet as quickly as her cumbersome middle would allow her to follow. "Stay here!" He demanded, pointing back to the bed. Raven's bedroom was the only room that still had any sort of magical protection in the Tower.

"I'm not just going to sit here and . . ."

"Stay Raven! I mean it!" He turned back to look at her as he reach the bedroom door and it slid open. With his eyes on the empath he didn't see the box that sat just outside the doorway and he tripped over it, knocking it over as he stumbled into the hallway. Something rolled out with a somewhat squishy thump. Quickly the changeling whirled around, his eyes opening wide as he saw the thing that had rolled out of the box. "Don't come any closer!" He commanded, but Raven was already in the doorway. She was already staring down at the spilled contents of the box, once again brightly wrapped. Somehow the empath managed to become even paler.

"It's . . . oh . . . Azar . . ." She swayed slightly, clutching at the doorway for support. The others were coming down the hallway now. Gar was beside her again and for the first time since the Malchior incident she initiated an embrace with him. She hid her face against his bare chest, wincing when she heard Starfire start to scream. Robin was saying something, but the words were muted, green arms cradling her head. Their leader seemed to be giving Cyborg directions before turning his attentions to the hysterical alien, trying to calm her.

"Please! I do not understand. From where did this pitiful creature come? It is the green Robin! It is the green like Friend Beastboy!" The fetus, far more mature than the first had been was indeed green.


	12. Lion and Lamb

12)

Lion and Lamb

It had been over an hour since anyone had spoken. Cyborg was bent over an examination table, finishing his inspection of the tiny body. Starfire had finally calmed and sat with her knees pulled up to her chest, her green on green eyes cast to the tile floor, clearly lost in thought. Robin leaned heavily on the wall closest to the silent group, his arms crossed over his chest. His chin dipped occasionally, the motion a mixture of contemplation and exhaustion. Raven had retrieved her cowl from her room and she had it wrapped tightly around herself, her hood up. She was pulled as tightly in on herself as she could manage, her eyes closed as she attempted to still her mind as she sat upon the floor. She leaned heavily against the soft heat of Beastboy's side, in the form of a tiger. His tail was wrapped around her middle, one giant paw outstretched before her, ready to strike. Usually she would be self-conscious about being in physical contact with the changeling in front of the others, but she couldn't bring herself to care in the moment. It was easier when he was an animal as well. There was something more acceptable about it in her mind. Finally Cyborg straightened and pulled the sheet over the still form and turned to the others. He looked strangely pale and significantly older as he shook his head wearily.

"It's paint," he muttered, addressing the most pressing question first. "It has no genetic relationship to Beastboy." Everyone nodded mutely, except for the changeling himself who made some grumbling sound in his chest. He had already told the group that it wasn't his child. Instinctually he would have known if he had fathered the infant, just like he had instinctually known that he had sired Raven's baby. "He . . . ummm . . . he was drown in the paint actually."

"The child was born alive?" Robin asked sharply, pushing himself away from the wall.

"Yes. A fetus can be viable at this point in a pregnancy. He was cut from his mother's womb and he was breathing and . . . they drown him in the paint. It's in his lungs." For a moment it appeared Cyborg was going to cry. Starfire herself had started to shed quiet tears again.

"Were you able to get a translation from the page fragment?" Robin questioned, beginning to pace. There had been a yellowed bit of a page from a book in the box. Cyborg brought up an enlarged image of the page on a display monitor and shook his head.

"The language isn't one I have stored in my . . ."

"I can read it," Raven said evenly, pushing her hood off her head. She seemed to skim the words briefly before beginning to read aloud. "And lo, Trigon wandered amongst the wilds and in dream he spoketh to the Lion of Yahweh, saying unto him, 'Thou art an aberration and thou art surely cursed. Abraham's Father hath lain you each twilight in company of lambs, yet thou hunger. Thou graze of the grasses as if a mindless sheep. Come unto me and receive my mark. Be unto me a mighty beast of mine molding. Feast upon the mindless sheep and lay thee in sated slumber having supped upon mine own Lamb'."

"Do you know what book this is from?" Their leader questioned a bit sharply.

"Not the exact book, no. There are a total of seven known books that are considered Trigon's Scripture. The stories and information vary greatly, leading the majority of scholars to believe most were written in more recent times by Trigon pseudo-cults."

"And do you know what the passage means?"

"It means pretty must exactly what it said. In a dream Trigon tempts the Lion of Yahweh, another name for the Hebrew God . . . to join his evil ranks." Robin was still staring, waiting on more information and Raven sighed softly. "The Lion of Yahweh is . . . the passage from the Bible . . . Isaiah I believe. There are verses about carnivorous animals living with and grazing like cattle. The Lion of Yahweh, in demon texts is a physical embodiment of that ideal. An actual creature that denies its nature and doesn't eat meat."

"Sounds like someone we know, doesn't it?" Cyborg grumbled, glancing at green tiger beside her.

"Yes, it's obvious the cult used the passage as a reference to Beastboy." The empath agreed, unconsciously curling her fingers into his plush coat, feeling uneasiness rise from him.

"And the Lamb . . . Trigon's Lamb . . . that's you isn't it?" Robin finally stopped his pacing, coming to stand in front of her.

"Yes."

"Is this part of a prophecy or . . ."

"No. Like I said, the seven books are full of contradictions. The passage doesn't necessarily mean anything, but the fact that they have an actual page from the book . . . that's significant."

"How?" Robin seemed to shift to the balls of his feet in anticipation.

"There is only one bookstore on the west coast this book could have come from."

"This is our first real clue then, our first break." There was no doubt that if his eyes were visible behind his mask they would be shining.

* * *

To say Robin had been eager to get started on his investigation would be an understatement. The moment Raven had told them that there was only one bookstore the book could have come from he was instantly making plans. He and Raven would go in the morning to talk to the store owner, a man the empath was acquainted with. And no sooner than the plan was laid out Beastboy objected to it viciously. Cyborg had started work on holo-rings for both Raven and the changeling weeks ago, but he had abandoned the project in favor of keeping Titan Tower more secure. He insisted he could finish his work and have them complete by the end of the week, but Robin had rejected the notion of waiting. There was no time to lose. Which meant to keep a low profile Beastboy would not be able to accompany them. For nearly three hours their fearless leader and the shape shifter shouted back and forth at each other.

"It isn't safe! She isn't going! Especially not without me!"

"You should be more eager than anyone to see the cult brought down Beastboy! Just sitting here will get nothing accomplished!" On and on it went, neither man stopping to question Raven on exactly what she wanted or thought about the situation. Part of her was glad for it. She didn't want to take Robin's side over Garfield's . . . but if asked she would have. Stopping the cult should be their first priority. Not to mention she very much wanted to leave the Tower. She wanted to breathe fresh air and if only briefly, be somewhere different. Anywhere different.

Eventually the fight spiraled nearly out of control, but Beastboy seemed to back off, shouting a demand at Starfire to watch Raven as he stormed out of the room. He was only gone a handful of minutes, no more than ten. When he returned he seemed to have calmed a good deal. He ignored Robin's harsh question about if he was ready to be reasonable. He simply walked back to where Raven stood and offered her his outstretched hand. After a long moment she took his hand and allowed him to lead her out of the med bay. They walked down the hall together and headed back toward the bedroom wing of the Tower. Surprisingly he ushered her into his own bedroom.

"Do you want to try and sleep a little?" He asked her softly, looking at her with concern.

"I can't sleep right now."

"Okay," he sighed and turned away from her for a moment, opening his closet door. "I really don't want you to go Rae." He closed the closet door again with his foot, his felt covered memory box in his hands. "The animal parts of me are screaming to take you and run as far away from here as we can get."

"Gar . . ."

"I know. Can't run from it and all that," he sighed dramatically, suggesting he didn't completely agree with the sentiment. He motioned for her to sit and together they settled on the edge of his unused bed. "My mom . . . she told me a story once about how upset my grandmother was when she found out her and my dad were moving to Africa. She begged my mom not to go. She begged and cried and even threatened not to talk to my mom ever again if she went. But in the end she accepted it. She knew Mom was doing what was right for her. And so my grandma she got a present for my mom," he paused in his story and opened his box, pulling out a little blue satin pouch. He pulled the drawstring open and tipped it upside down, a ring falling into his palm. "It's a moonstone. It was to remind my mom that no matter how far apart they were . . . they could look up at the moon and know that it was a thing both could see and if they could both be under the same moon then they couldn't really be that far apart." He plucked the small ring from his palm and set it in Raven's hand. She studied the pale stone that seemed to nearly glow in the overhead light and the thin band of braided gold. The empath tried to hand the ring back to him, but he shook his head. "I want you to have it."

"I can't. This was your mother's and . . . Gar . . . I just can't."

"You can and you will." He took the ring back, but kept her hand along with the offered piece of jewelry. Gently he slid it on her ring finger. "See, it fits." He sighed again, shaking his head. "I know a trip to a bookstore and back isn't like moving to another continent. But I'd feel better if you wore it Rae."

"I'll wear it if you want and then I'll give it back."

"It looks so pretty on you," he told her, his voice soft and dreamy. "There's no one else in the world I'd rather see wearing it." Raven blushed slightly, looking down on her hand and the ring upon it.

"If you ever change your mind . . ." she began but he made a soft hushing sound.

"My mind has been made up for a long time," he told her somewhat cryptically. The empath raised her face, her eyes meeting his. He smiled at her and leaned forward, kissing lightly the very corner of her mouth. He pulled back slightly, his bright green eyes flickering down to look at her lips. Slowly he leaned back in, his head titling slightly. Raven sensed his intention, but didn't pull away from his approach. Her eyes slipped shut, only to open again when she became aware of a loud "whoop, whoop" sound that could be nothing but an approaching helicopter.

"Who . . ." she began with concern, her eyes darting toward the sound, now right above them.

"That was fast," the changeling muttered with a mixture of amusement and annoyance. He sighed and touched his nose to her own briefly. "It's Rita."

"Rita?"

"She's going with you and Robin."

"Does Robin know that?" Beastboy chuckled at the question and shrugged.

"He will in a minute." He stood and began to move away from the bed when Raven reach out and grabbed his wrist.

"About earlier . . . before the alarm . . ." she began quietly, not meeting his eyes. "I don't want you to . . . I mean . . . my hormones are crazy and I'm not sure I . . ."

"I get that you're still sorting everything out. I know that what happened was . . . a moment that's passed now and not a promise of anything in the future. I don't want you to feel pressured Rae. I want you to know though . . . if you want that sort of relationship . . ."

"I can't ever have that sort of relationship," the empath told him, her voice far more impassive about the statement than her heart.

"You've done tons of things you said you couldn't Raven," he reminded her with a shake of his head. "I more than want that with you. If and when you're ready, I'll be right here, waiting. I lo . . ."

"Beastboy! What did you do!" It was Robin, his voice gruff with annoyance. Green eyes rolled dramatically at the shout. He laughed lightly and held his hand out as the empath struggled to get to her feet.

"He knows now," Raven muttered, accepting his offered hand to help her off the bed.

"I regret nothing."


	13. Rita

13)

Rita

Rita Farr Dayton stood in the common room, professionally manicured nails digging into the plastic of her Doom Patrol communicator. She had thumbed the speaker function off a couple minutes before and held it to her ear like a telephone. Her caramel colored eyes rolled and she sighed in exasperation as she listened to the voice only she could hear.

"Look Steve . . . right now I couldn't give a damn . . . now hold on! Are you serious? Of all the things to worry about you're honestly saying your main concern is the fact I had Cliff bring me in the Doom Patrol heli?" There was a long pause as she listened, her red lips pulling into sharp frown. "Our affiliation with the Titans . . . get real! Is your precious image so important that . . ." She made an exasperated sound in her throat, beginning to pace quickly. "You know what . . . I'm done with this conversation. I hope for your sake that eventually you stop being an emotionally constipated jackass and call your son. I sincerely hope you continue to have a relationship with him and with your grandchild. But don't call me again Steven. I'm done." She jerked the communicator away from her ear and pushed the glowing button to close the connection. She stared down at the purple hunk of plastic, tears threatening. A second later though she blinked them away and smiled brightly as a familiar voice drifted from the doorway.

"I'm so glad you're here."

"I'm glad to be here Gar!" She tossed the communicator onto the couch and hurried toward him, arms outstretched. "Goodness! You've gotten so tall!" Rita cooed as she hugged him close, stretching herself so she was taller than the changeling. "It's been too long! I'm sorry it's been so long."

"It's okay. I know how it is . . . always on the move with the team."

"Well, as of today I'm officially retired!" She kissed his forehead and released him, shrinking back down to her actual height. "And look at you!" Rita's eyes focused on Raven, who had followed the changeling into the common room.

"It's good to see you Rita." The empath responded evenly, taking a step backward as the older woman bound forward with a happy clap of her hands.

"Look how big you are! Poor Dear, you've always been such a tiny thing . . . I knew you'd swell like an overfed tick!" Raven wasn't sure if she should feel insulted or not, but Rita was exuding happiness and kindness and clearly meant nothing cruel.

"Rita!" Garfield fussed lightly, shaking his head.

"What? She's lovely . . . you're lovely Raven. You're practically glowing Dear." Her hands fluttered near the empath and it was clear she wanted to touch her pregnant middle, but she seemed to remember exactly who she was about to touch without permission and pulled her hands back to settle on her hips. "Well, where is Robin? It's kind of him to give us a moment before he came charging in but I'm sure he's just outside the door, waiting."

"It is nice of you to visit us," Robin, who was indeed just beyond the doorway said as he walked in. "Everything is under control. We don't need . . ."

"I'm just here to help, for . . . moral support." She smiled sweetly, her head tilting, her reddish-brown hair falling over one eye. "I don't want to take over. I'm not even here as Elasti-Girl."

"That's fine . . . that's great. You're welcome in the Tower as long as you'd like to stay," Robin replied firmly. "In the Tower, not out on reconnaissance missions."

"Robin, I have no interest in interfering with your investigation. Heck, I don't really want to participate in it at all. I just retired after all. I just want to go along for the ride. You won't even know I'm there."

"There's no need for you to tag along."

"Of course there is. What will it honestly hurt Robin? An extra set of eyes is never a bad thing." She motioned toward a steamer trunk that she'd carried into the common room. "There's no real point in standing around here and arguing. I know you want to get an early start and it's going to take a little time to work on Raven's disguise so . . ."

"Disguise?" Robin parroted and Rita smile sweetly.

"Of course. What were you going to do Robin, put her in an oversized sweater and a wide brimmed hat?" The silence that greeted her was answer enough. "Trust me, nothing draws attention like a giant hat. Don't worry though, I have it under control. Aren't you glad I came Robin?"

"Y-yeah," he nodded and walked away, clearly having lost the battle of wits.

* * *

"The only rule about disguises is . . . it shouldn't look like a disguise," Rita said with a chuckle as she filled a very strange looking device with what looked like tan paint. They were in Starfire's room, the alien princess excited to see how Rita was going to transform Raven into someone new.

"It is the only rule?" Starfire asked, flitting about in a circle around the other two women.

"The only rule," Rita reiterated with a nod. "I was an actress before an accident gave me my powers, did you know that?"

"You were on the T of V?"

"I was in movies." Rita struck a dramatic pose for a moment, then laughed. "And back then I learned really quick that sun hats and big sunglasses just screamed 'look at me, I'm hiding'!" She screwed the metal canister to a strange nozzle. "Raven Dear, you'll need to strip down to your underwear, alright?"

"Do I have to?" Raven crossed her arms over her chest, eyeing the thing in Rita's hand with distrust.

"Yes. We're all girls, it's okay."

"What is that?" Raven asked, not moving to disrobe.

"It's spray tan. We're going to make you look like you've spent the summer enjoying long days at the beach."

"It will wash off, right?" The empath questioned, still fully dressed.

"Yes, I promise it will."

"It might be nice to have the tan Friend Raven. You are very pale."

"I'm supposed to be pale." Finally she pulled her shirt over her head and slipped out of her pants, standing before them in a dark blue bra and pantie set.

"Okay, this will be a little cold." Rita warned, flicking on the tiny motor in the sprayer. Ten minutes later Raven was a somewhat orange color and unpleasantly damp. Rita promised it would dry quickly and wouldn't look quite as unnatural after a few minutes. She was relieved once she was allowed to put her clothes on again, but the feeling was short lived as the elder woman pulled a large make-up case from her trunk. After nearly twenty minutes of sponges and brushes and powders and pastes Rita seemed happy with her work and was ready to add the finishing touch, a wig. The wig was brown with bouncy curls that fell to Raven's shoulders.

"Ooo Friend Raven! You look so . . . the normal." Starfire inspected her closely as Raven stared into the full length mirror on the closet door. She did indeed look rather normal, a woman that wouldn't earn a second glance as she walked down the street.

"It really is impressive Rita," Raven agreed, pulling her eyes away from her image.

"I'm sure Robin is anxious to get going. How far away is this place from here?"

"By car, about four hours."

"Maybe you can nap in the car," Rita offered kindly.

"Maybe."

* * *

Down in the Tower's underground garage Robin was waiting, dressed in a pair of cargo pants and a white button up shirt. He was leaning against the white sedan that the team kept for discreet trips into the city. He looked impatient, his fingers drumming lightly on the driver's side window. He couldn't help but look impressed as Raven approached, his head tilting.

"That is better than a big hat," he admitted with a shrug.

"Yes, I think so too." Rita sighed and lay a hand on Gar's upper arm, rubbing lightly. He was fidgeting with his belt, clearly anxious. "It'll be alright Kiddo. I won't take my eyes off her."

"Let's get going." Robin pulled the driver's side door open, looking expectantly at the women.

"Give them a moment to say goodbye," Rita commanded, moving away to climb into the passenger side. She sat, but left the door open.

"We're going to be gone one day," Robin grumbled and Rita shot him a dirty look.

"It is only one day," Raven said softly to the changeling. "You don't have to worry Gar."

"Can't help worrying Rae." He exhaled quickly, only to drag in a deep breath. His nose crinkled and he shook his head. "You don't smell like you."

"I don't look like me either."

"That's good . . . but I won't be happy until you're home and all that gunk is washed off. I miss my pretty alabaster bird already." Raven turned scarlet, her body tensing. He had said it quietly and she was sure no one else had heard. Still, the statement was uncomfortably intimate.

"Garfield," she chided, dipping her head low to avoid his warm gaze.

"Be careful Rae." He set his hand upon her middle, his thumb worrying soft circles.

"I will. There isn't any need to worry, honestly."

"I don't want you to go," he whispered, whining in his chest.

"I'll be back by dark. It's just a trip to a bookstore and back." She sat her hand upon his briefly before gently pushing it away. She began to turn, but Beastboy caught her lightly by the arm, bringing her back around to face him. He pressed his cheek to her own, nuzzling, his right hand cupping the back of her neck to prevent her from pulling away. She remained passive in his embrace however, allowing him a moment to smug her make-up. Despite her discomfort with his public display of affection, she sensed too much anxiety from the man to deny him this moment's comfort.

"He's being ridiculous," Robin muttered to the steering wheel. Rita snorted lightly and rolled her eyes.

"Would it be quite so ridiculous if all this was happening to Starfire?" She asked the young man. Robin grunted, but said nothing. Eventually Beastboy released the empath and hurried away, his shoulders tense and his head slightly lowered.

"Are we finally ready?" Robin asked as Raven slowly settled into the back seat.

"We're just waiting on you," Rita said dismissively, turning in her seat to assess how much damage her adoptive son had done to her make-up job.

"Me? I've been ready since . . ."

"This little undercover mission will be blown all to Hell if you plan on wearing that the whole time." The older woman pointed to the mask that was still upon his face. His left hand moved to touch at the black edge for a moment before he pulled it away, revealing piercing blue eyes and skin that was slightly paler than that of his cheeks and forehead. He opened the glove box and sat the mask inside.

"There," he said, frowning at Rita's somewhat smug expression.

* * *

Raven was dreaming of the hallway again. The ugly wallpaper and worn tan carpet. She knew now that this had been Gar's home as a young boy. The place he died and was reborn as the green skinned creature she had always known him as. Slowly she walked forward, toward the beaded curtain she knew lead into the back yard. The sun was bright and she shielded her eyes for a moment as her bare feet treed over crisp grass, moving toward the tree line. Something was there, just beyond her vision. It was large and quick, darting through the thick growth with ease. It growled softly, the sound not seeming to be one of aggression or fear, but almost like a greeting. An acknowledgment that it was aware of her presence.

"It's me, you know," a voice right beside her suddenly said and she jumped, turning to look at the figure that seemed to have magically materialized.

"I know," she agreed, suddenly aware that he was right.

"No matter what . . . I'd never hurt you Rae. You know that, don't you?" She looked up at the changeling, her shoulders tensing some as a roar rose from the jungle nearby. There was a cracking noise and suddenly the trees parted as broad shoulders forced the greenery apart. She looked back to where Beastboy had been standing, but he was gone. No, he wasn't really gone. This mass of green fur and muscles in front of her was very much Beastboy . . . or at least the Beast half of him. White eyes, void of pupils stared at her as he lumbered forward. In his jaws a snowy lamb hung limp, its fleece stained red with its own blood. Closer he came, but Raven stood her ground. He dropped the lamb at her feet in offering, lowering himself on his haunches. Behind him now she could see the destruction in his wake. A wide path of broken trees, the ground littered with bodies. Sheep, goats, and calves lay mutilated and discarded for as far down the trail as she could see.

"No," she breathed, shaking her head in disbelief.

"For you," a surprisingly gravelly and inhuman voice replied. The empath ripped her eyes from the horrific scene to look down upon the massive head that was now attempting to nuzzle into her hand, demanding to be petted.

"Why?" She wept, her fingers gripping his shaggy green fur harshly.

"I hurt them. I hurt them before they could hurt you."

"Why?" She repeated, tears rolling down her cheeks as the bloodied bodies shifted into men and women, their lifeless eyes skyward.

"I'm good," the Beast insisted, shaking off her clutching fingers to stand at his full height again. A gore dampened muzzle touched her cheek, marking her with his violence as he caressed her. "A good male protects . . . I protect my young . . . I protect my mate. I am good."

"What did you do? Oh Gar . . . what did you do?" She scrubbed at the blood on her cheek, but like dried paint it refused to fade from her pallid skin.

"I'd kill the world for you Raven."

Raven awoke with a start, gasping loudly. She sat up and sat a hand on her cheek, cold from pressing against the car window. She blinked, realizing that the car was not moving and that Rita was turned around in her seat, watching her in silence. The driver's side seat was empty.

"Where's Robin?" The empath asked evenly, ignoring the other woman's questioning gaze.

"We had to stop for gas. He went inside to get something to drink. I asked him to get you a water."

"Thank you."

"Are you thinking about names?" Rita asked after a minute of silence, clearly uncomfortable with the lack of conversation.

"Not really."

"Gar said you decided to wait to know the gender."

"That's right."

"Are you hoping for a boy or girl?"

"I've no preference."

"Are you excited?"

"I'm apprehensive," Raven replied after a long pause. "Gar's excited enough for both of us anyway."

"I know he is. Still . . . Raven, I know it has to be strange . . . having something so unexpected happen. You never thought you'd be a mother, did you?"

"Did Garfield . . ."

"He's never said a word against you Raven. As far as he's concerned you can do no wrong. He adores you, Dear."

"I think that's an exaggeration," the empath said with a hint of a frown.

"If anything it's an understatement," Rita defended with a smile.

"No, I never expected to have a child," Raven admitted, wanting to steer the conversation away from the changeling and his apparent adoration of her. She gazed toward the convenience store, willing Robin to come back and end their conversation.

"The accident that gave me my powers, it made me barren," the older woman told her bluntly and Raven lifted an eyebrow slightly in question. "I told myself for a long time I never actually wanted to have children. I told myself that so much that I believed it, until . . ." she sighed, her eyes closing for a moment. "It was November, a really cold night, I remember. There wasn't anything special about the call . . . just low level criminals. There were three men we caught inside the bank and then . . . I'll never know why . . . I decided to go look around behind the bank, in the alleyway. We'd looked there once already and hadn't seen anyone else, but something just . . . told me to look again. And there he was. He could have run and I think he almost did, but then he came closer. His hands held out to me in surrender. You would think the fact he was green would have struck me first, but it wasn't. No . . . my first thoughts were that he was so thin and he had to be so cold. Those bastards . . . it was November and my poor Gar was only wearing a pair of dirty shorts. No shoes, nothing but those filthy shorts. He held his hands out to me, shaking like a leaf. Begging me to help him and . . . and suddenly I knew all those years I'd spent telling myself that I never wanted a child . . . I knew it was a lie."

"He was lucky you found him."

"I was the lucky one. Despite how cruel the world had been to him . . . he was sweet and kind. He came into my life and lit it up like Christmas. He was my miracle. Just like your baby will be your very own miracle. You'll see." Raven nodded slightly at the other woman's words, not exactly agreeing, but mostly to let her know she had been listening. Rita kept looking at her, seemingly expecting her to keep their conversation going.

"Do you . . . have a preference for what we call you . . . to the baby?" Raven finally said, again glancing out the car window. What in the world could Robin be doing that was taking so long?

"I was thinking Nana. Doesn't sound quite as old as granny or grandma." The empath nodded, sighing softly in relief. Finally the black haired man made his way out of the convenience store, a paper bag in his left hand.


	14. Friction

14)

Friction

The bookstore was nestled between a bakery and a small smoothie bar. Raven's mind drifted to Gar as they parked on the opposite side of the street. He certainly would have wanted to visit both businesses before they left. Why hadn't she thought to bring him here before? He would have tolerated browsing through the antique bookstore and she would have enjoyed sitting with him and sharing a couple fresh baked cookies. The answer to that question was that before she'd become pregnant she hadn't honestly considered going on outings with the changeling. The idea had never crossed her mind. As she climbed out of the car she shook her head slightly, trying to clear her thoughts.

"Are you alright? Not dizzy are you?" Robin cupped her elbow lightly, ready to move to catch her if needed.

"No, I'm fine." She wasn't dizzy, but was she fine? She had missed people before. She had missed Cyborg when he'd left for a few days after his fight with Robin, back when the team was still new. She had missed Robin when he'd gone to seek instruction from some far away Master to improve his fighting prowess. She had even missed Terra in her own way. In all those instances the people she missed had gone away for an extended period of time. She had never missed someone after only a few hours apart. Someone she knew she would be seeing again before the end of the day. It seemed strange and unhealthy to miss Beastboy even a little, let alone the significant amount she was experiencing. Being in his constant company had affected her more than she'd thought and she found herself feeling slightly lost without him.

"Are you sure?" Rita was standing even closer than Robin was, her brown eyes squinting. "You look unsteady."

"Honestly, I'm fine." She shouldered past both of them, crossing the street alone. Both had caught up to her by the time she pushed the heavy wooden door on the shop open, a bell tinkling lightly as they made their way inside. The store was dimly lit, small, and at first glance, empty. After a moment a slender man appeared from behind a long deep red curtain that covered a doorway. He was balding, white wisps of hair neatly combed at the sides of his head. Small glasses were balanced on the very tip of his pointed nose, his small brown eyes slightly foggy. He smiled as he shuffled to the desk where an antique cash register sat.

"Looking for something in particular? We have some of the rarest text in the US."

"Actually, yes," Raven responded and his wiry eyebrows shot up, his hands fluttering from the desk in her direction.

"Raven?" He questioned, his brow scrunching up in confusion. She gave him a short nod and the shop keeper made his way to the front door, jerking it open to turn the sign declaring the store open to inform patrons it was closed. He locked the door and turn back to them, settling on the edge of the desk. "You actually are pregnant. I thought the whole thing was hogwash." He shook his head, his fingers tapping at the wood of the desk for a moment. "This one the father?" He asked, pointing a slightly wrinkled finger at Robin.

"No."

"Of course not. Doesn't look like your type." He smiled slightly and winked at the empath.

"Mr. Yarrow, we were hoping you could give us some information on someone who bought a book from you. A book of demon scripture," Raven said, getting right to the point.

"Demon scripture? I don't sale much of that. In fact the last person I think I sold a book like that too was you Raven."

"Are you certain?"

"Yes, very certain."

"Mr. Yarrow, how about shop lifters? Anyone that seemed . . . out of place that could have stolen . . ." Robin began, but the old man shook his head.

"Those books aren't just sitting on a shelf. Someone would have to ask for them. No one could have stolen them without me knowing it."

"Could your son have sold one of the books?" The empath asked, holding out an imploring hand.

"Luke? I don't think he'd sale something like that without telling me. Again, it isn't something we get inquiries about every day." He sighed and pushed off from the desk. "I'll ask him though, if you'd like to wait a few minutes for me to call him. He has himself a girlfriend and stays with her more often than not."

"We'll wait," Robin told him with a nod. Mr. Yarrow nodded back at him and again made his way behind the heavy red drapery that separated his living quarters from his shop. The small group stood in silence for nearly five minutes before Robin gave Raven a sideways look. "How well do you know Mr. Yarrow?"

"I've been coming to his shop for years. He's friendly and knowledgeable and I enjoy conversing with him. Even if I didn't know him at all I would be able to sense if he was lying about the book."

"I meant . . . why would he say I'm not your type?"

"Seriously?" Rita laughed, turning from the bookcase she had been looking at to stare at him.

"I don't find it humorous," Robin grumbled and Rita laughed harder still.

"Wow! And I thought Steve was bad! Don't let your ego eat you alive Kid."

"It has nothing to do with ego. I'm merely concerned with the amount of information this Mr. Yarrow seems to have about . . ."

"Is your team forbidden from having friends and acquaintances outside the team itself?"

"No, just given everything that has happened recently . . ."

"Stop," Raven commanded, wishing she had her cowl with its deep hood to hide within. "Like I said, he is very knowledgeable. He's always suspected what I am as a result. I don't divulge secrets to him. We talk about books and the things within them."

"Statements about your "type" are a bit deeper than . . ."

"No, actually . . . it isn't any deeper. What he said was a general statement, a joke almost. You're assuming, reading far more into it."

"Assume makes an ass out of you and me." Rita added and the empath shook her head, her thoughts again wondering away. She thought of Gar and his habit of adding things that didn't really need to be added to conversations. She suddenly knew that he'd picked the trait up from Rita. His incessant talking also seemed to be something he'd learned from her. She was clearly uncomfortable with long stretches of silence.

"I still . . ." Robin began, his eyes narrowing in irritation, but Mr. Yarrow appeared again from behind the curtain, shaking his head.

"Luke said he didn't sale any of the books but . . ." He sighed and shoved his hands into the pockets of his slacks. "I checked our stock and . . . I am missing two books."

"Which two?" Raven asked and he pulled a small scrap of paper from his pocket where he had written the titles down and handed it to her.

"My oldest two . . . the most expensive. The ones that were supposedly copied from scrolls found four hundred years ago."

"Has there been anyone here that could have taken them? A friend that came to visit? A workman or cleaning crew? Anything?" The young man pushed his fingers through his black hair, grasping desperately for any clue. They couldn't run into a dead end, not so quickly.

"There hasn't been . . . I mean, my sister visits every other Tuesday for tea. She wouldn't steal from me though. And . . . I guess Luke's girlfriend has been here a time or two."

"The girlfriend . . . can you give me her name and address?" Blue eyes were blazing again.

"Yes . . . her name is Mary . . . uhhh Potts? Or maybe Pratt? One or the other. She lives here in town, in the apartments near the strip mall."

"Thank you Mr. Yarrow, you've been very helpful."

* * *

"What do you know about Luke Yarrow?" Robin asked as they drove down the street, missing their turn to get onto the freeway.

"Only that he doesn't seem to share his father's love of books," Raven responded softly, looking back at the disappearing exit ramp.

"We promised Garfield we'd head back after visiting the bookstore," Rita said sharply, her eyes on the rear view mirror.

"We aren't abandoning the investigation. We have a new lead. We're following it."

"You promised him Robin," the older woman reminded. He rolled his shoulders as if to fight away the tension that was creeping into them.

"He'll understand."

"We all three know he most certainly will not." Rita grumbled, pulling her Doom Patrol communicator out of her designer purse.

"Don't call him," Robin demanded but she rolled her eyes and flipped it open.

"You aren't my boss Kid."

"Please don't call him," he corrected, but it was too late and she didn't look up, ignoring him. The communicator glowed a soft purple and flashed for a couple minutes before the changeling's voice filled the car.

"You guys done?" He asked anxiously and Rita shook her head.

"We're done at the bookstore, yes. But Sweetie . . . you see . . . Robin has a new lead and he's wanting to . . ."

"You promised me straight there and back!" It was unclear if he was shouting at Rita or attempting to shout loud enough to ensure Robin could hear.

"I know, I know and that's what I said. But Robin thinks it's really important . . ."

"Where are you going?"

"To an apartment complex on the bad side of town to talk to the shop owner's son and his girlfriend." The boy wonder glared daggers at Rita for a moment before focusing on the road again.

"Bad part of town? Let me talk to him!"

"He can hear you Hon."

"Dude! You said straight back after the bookstore! You gave me your word."

"I know. We can't let the lead get any colder than it already is. You have to trust me Beastboy. Raven's safe. I'm here and God knows Rita isn't going anywhere. It's going to be fine. We're going to talk to them and then we'll come straight back. And for the record it isn't the bad part of town . . . just inexpensive housing. Rita's being dramatic."

"Let me talk to Raven," the changeling insisted with a loud sigh.

"She can hear you," Rita reminded again.

"Privately," he added and the older woman pressed the button to shut off the speaker function, handing the communicator back to the empath, who placed it to her ear.

"You're off speaker," she told him in a careful, even tone. The last thing she wanted was for him to know how glad she was to be hearing his voice.

"Are you okay Rae?" He asked softly, sounding forlorn.

"I'm fine."

"Raven . . . if you want me to come get you I will. I'll steal the frigging T-car if I have to. Just say yes and I'll be there just as quick as I can."

"I really am fine, honestly."

"No weird feelings? No squirminess in your belly saying this is a bad idea?"

"The only squirming I'm feeling is completely Bug related." Gar laughed lightly, but the sound died quickly.

"Be safe," he commanded thickly.

"I will Gar."

"Okay." He grumbled something in Swahili and she heard him growl. "I'll see you real soon."

"You will," she reassured, letting her tone soften slightly.

"Bye Rae."

"Goodbye." She shut the communicator and handed it back to Rita.

"Is he okay?" The older woman asked with a frown.

"Yes, he will be."

* * *

"I read a couple Anne Rice books . . . is that what you mean?" Mary Pratt ask them with a confused shrug. She took a sip from her soda can, looking at the three very strange strangers that sat on her couch. "Are you sure you don't want something to drink?"

"We're fine," the man that had declared himself as Rich after she had asked for his name, said. "Mr. Yarrow said you have come into his shop a few time and that you may have borrowed a couple books."

"I only go in when Luke is there, to visit with him you know. Most of his dad's books aren't even in English. And the ones that are seem pretty dull. I've never barrowed any from the shop."

"I see." The young man nodded and the pregnant woman sat her hand on his upper arm. It seemed to be a signal of some sort because he looked back at Mary, his head tilting. "You said you work as a waitress?"

"I did. I wasn't very good at it to be honest. I'm between jobs right now."

"Some of the books in the shop are rare . . . valuable. Is it possible Luke let you have a couple to sale? Just to help make ends meet?"

"Are you suggesting I stole from Mr. Yarrow?" She asked softly, her lips pulling into a frown. They had to tell her if they were police, didn't they? Maybe they were private investigators. "I'm not a thief. Luke helps me pay some of the bills and I may be young but I'm not stupid, I have some in savings. I'd never steal from anyone, let alone someone I know." Again the pregnant woman touched the man, this time lightly just above his wrist. Clearly it was some sort of communication between them because he nodded.

"I believe you," Rich said, tapping his fingers on his knee in thought. "You said you only went to the bookstore to visit with your boyfriend . . . but that isn't completely true, is it?"

"I . . . I mean . . . it's sort of true. I never went to take any books, that's for sure. Sometimes I go and . . . just watch."

"Watch what?"

"I . . . I think Luke is cheating on me, okay? I go and sit and watch when he's at work to see who goes into the bookshop."

"I'm sorry to hear that," the dark haired man said softly and she sighed, shaking her head. "Have you seen anyone that you find suspect that visits often?"

"Yeah . . . there's this woman . . . she's older . . . in her late thirties maybe. I've seen her go in and stay for . . . too long to just be looking at dusty books. I know he's screwing her."

"Can you describe her?"

"I don't know. She's pretty. She has long brown hair. A nice ass . . . I don't know."

"Anything else? Height? Eye color?" He pushed and tears threatened in Mary's dark eyes.

"Taller than me, thinner than me, better than me."

"That's enough Rich," the older woman, who had been silent the entire time said with a disapproving glance in his direction. "Listen here Mary. This Luke isn't worth your time if he's cheating on you. You're a beautiful girl and I can tell you have a good head on your shoulders. Don't let yourself be less than just to make some asshole happy. Dump him. There's something better out there."

"You think?"

"Oh Sweetheart, I know. We'll let ourselves out. Take care of yourself."

"I-I will . . . thank you."

* * *

"Overnight? I better have heard you wrong Man!" Beastboy shouted into his Titan communicator, pacing his room. Robin's face was tiny in the little screen, his expression void of any real emotion.

"Our investigation is progressing. We have another lead and . . ."

"No! You said you were coming back tonight. I want her back here . . . right now!"

"I'm not cutting off an investigation right in the middle of . . ."

"Bring her home!"

"Maybe you've forgotten Beastboy, but I am the leader of the Titans. These sort of decisions are mine to make." His eyes narrowed slightly, his voice taking on an authoritative edge.

"This goes beyond that. You know good and damn well it does!" The changeling snarled, baring his teeth for the other man to see. "Where's Raven?"

"I sent her and Rita to get us some motel rooms for the night while I took the time to contact you to give you the courtesy of letting you know what's happening."

"Courtesy my ass!"

"It's my call to make," he reminded again.

"It isn't!"

"I am the leader of . . ."

"Screw the Titans! Screw you Rob! You can't drag Raven and by default my kid where ever the Hell you please just because you . . ."

"Watch what you say," the other man said calmly.

"If this is the way this family is gonna work then I'm done with it . . . no . . . I'm just done with you! We quit!"

"You can't quit for Raven."

"Give me the address," Beastboy demanded, ignoring Robin's statement.

"No."

"I'll get it from Raven. Go to Hell." The communicator cut out and Robin sighed loudly, pocketing the piece of plastic again. He hadn't expected the exchange to go well, but he wasn't expecting quite so much animosity. Robin honestly was trying to picture the scenario in reverse as Rita had suggested. He couldn't imagine behaving like the changeling was though, no matter how he turned it over in his mind. In fact, Beastboy's seeming lack of trust and faith in him was insulting. Did he honestly think he was the only one that cared about Raven? Robin had indeed 'gone to Hell' for the empath. He loved her. He loved Raven more than he'd loved anyone since his family had died in fact. Starfire would never stop crying if she could see within his mind. It wasn't that Robin felt any romantic inclination toward the empath, he'd never had a sexual thought about her. Still, what he felt was different than the love he would feel for a sister or friend. It was deep and extremely complex. He could think of no way to label it and so he had never bothered to do so. It was a hard thing for the man to admit, but he was jealous of the bond Raven and Beastboy had developed over the last few months. She used to come to him for nearly everything. Now, it was always the youngest Titan her eyes sought out. Even when they were all together as a group, she gravitated toward the changeling. She allowed him a freedom Robin would have never thought she would permit another. Beastboy was always touching her, little touches that most wouldn't notice or pay much attention to. Even stranger was the subtle ways she encouraged the contact. It was almost certainly subconscious on her part, but it was easy enough for the well trained eye to see. Which meant two things, she liked the physical contact and when the pair were alone, there had to be far more intimacy than what was displayed in front of others. Sometimes Robin got the impression the pair were a couple or on the precipice of falling into a romantic relationship. And though he had his own girlfriend and didn't desire that sort of relationship with Raven . . . it was driving him crazy.


	15. Heart to Heart

15)

Heart to Heart

Robin hurriedly searched for Raven and Rita, not finding either woman in the lobby. Rita would probably have no qualm about going to her room without so much as a word to the man, despite the fact she was supposed to secure a room for him as well. She wouldn't have left Raven unattended though, of that he was pretty sure and Raven would wait for him, just as he requested. Wouldn't she? The empath had been quiet, even by her own standards. Usually he could tell when she didn't agree with his decisions or when she was displeased with him. He wasn't sure of her thoughts now though. Rita had been so quick to voice her options about everything under the sun that the younger woman apparently felt no need to offer additional input. Finally he spotted the mop of brown curls coming out of the women's bathroom and he rushed forward.

"Where's Rita?" he asked and the empath motioned over her shoulder back toward the restroom.

"She asked me to wait, but . . ."

"Listen, Bea . . ." Robin trailed off, remembering they were in a public space and undercover. "Garfield is going to be . . ."

"He already called. I gave him the address."

"Why? He's not going to do anything but disrupt . . ."

"I came along because I know Mr. Yarrow. That part of our research is complete. We've moved on to possibly interacting with members of the . . . group in question. I can't help with that Richard. I can't be anything but a hindrance at best." She crossed her right arm over her middle in what nearly seemed to be a protective gesture. "Victor is going to rent a car and he and Gar will be here in just a few hours. Vic will stay to assist with your investigation. Rita, Gar, and I will go home tomorrow morning."

"I need your help on this. You have insights no one else has into how . . ."

"You can call me. I'm no good to you here." Her eyes studied his face, her head shaking slightly at something she seemed to sense. "You're a good leader. Don't let your emotions effect your judgement."

"I could say the same to you." He parred and she scoffed.

"I'm being reasonable. The risks far outweighs the advantages."

"I can protect you. I can protect you just as well as Gar. Better."

"Rich, that isn't the . . ."

"Rae! Oh Dear God! I told you to wait for me!" Rita had just emerged from the bathroom, her hand clasping her chest. "When I didn't see you . . . you can't imagine what I thought!" She smiled, making it hard to tell if she had honestly ever been upset or was just moving on.

"I was out of your sight for five minutes Rita. It's hardly . . ."

"Was it five minutes? I was thinking three." She made a tisking sound to herself, almost like a reprimand. "I know you have to be tired Dear. I'll stay with you in your room until Gar gets here."

"I'll stay with her Rita. You can get settled into your own room," Robin said firmly. He reach out and sat his hand on Raven's shoulder, but the empath shrugged him off immediately, destroying any image of agreement he had been hoping for.

"Settle? All I have is my purse. I was expecting to be back at your place by now, remember?"

"Then why don't you go buy yourself a change of clothes and some necessities."

"I can wait. I promised Gar I would keep an eye on her. I do keep _my_ promises." Her chin tilted upward slightly. "Here's your key card, by the way. So you can get settled into your room." She pressed the smooth plastic card into his hand, smiling.

"You aren't nearly as clever as you seem to think you are," the man told her, his patience wearing thin.

"Maybe. And you aren't nearly as subtle as you think you are." Rita began to walk toward the elevator, Robin and Raven following after her. She jabbed at the button sharply, then opened her purse, digging around inside. She pulled out a granola bar and held it out to the empath. "It's been forever since we ate. Feed my grandbaby." The silver door slid open then and all three stepped inside.

"Whatever issue you have with me Rita, just spit it out," Robin grumbled after the door closed.

"I barely know you Robin. I don't like some of the things you do . . . a lot of what you've done recently actually . . . but it wouldn't be fair to say I have any particular issue with you."

"In just under twelve hours I've managed to follow a soft lead to a real chance at intercepting a probable cult member. Most people would consider that a pretty successful day." The door slid open and the trio stepped out onto the fourth floor.

"So much like Steve. That's true, we did run down a lead. But in the course of that twelve hours you went back on your word, twice. You didn't once stop to ask your pregnant team mate if she was hungry or needed a break."

"Raven never said she was hungry," Robin replied defensively, glancing toward the empath, who was pausing to deposit the empty wrapper of the granola bar into a garbage can. Of course she had been hungry and probably pretty tired too.

"No, she's a team player," Rita murmured sadly. She used the card in her hand to unlock the door, pushing it open with her foot. "Here, Sweetie," she handed the card to Raven. "I'll take the room with the two single beds." Robin glared at the solitary queen sized bed in the center of the room. He waited for the empath to say something, to tell Rita that it made more sense that she keep the room with two beds since the changeling would insist on staying with her.

"Thank you, Rita," the younger woman said instead and Robin's jaw tensed, his teeth grinding for a moment before he forced himself to relax. Raven's eyes darted in his direction, her lips twitching almost unperceivably into a frown. "I really am hungry," she said evenly, her attention once again on Rita. "A hamburger would be perfect. Could you get me one from the diner next door?"

"Oh . . . I know you're starving . . . but, I promised Gar I'd . . ."

"I know, but I'd rather eat it now, before he gets here. Seeing me eat meat bothers him." Robin blinked, keeping his expression neutral despite his surprise. The empath was always so straight forward. Watching her manipulate the older woman was shocking.

"Alright," Rita glanced at Robin briefly and he got the impression she knew that she was being sent on this errand so the pair could talk. Her light brown eyes scanned the room as if searching for any possible danger that could befall the other girl while she was gone. Seemingly satisfied she turned to leave the room, looking back over her shoulder. "Don't leave her alone Robin. Not for a second."

"I won't," the man grumbled, unaccustomed to being given orders. A minute later the door closed and he opened his mouth to speak.

"I was being sincere, just so you know," Raven said before the first syllable left his mouth. "The last thing I want tonight is to further upset Beastboy." She sat down on her bed, kicking off her flats.

"Heaven forbid we upset poor Beastboy," he replied with sarcasm.

"We don't have very long to talk so let's talk about why you're so upset." She waited for him to reply, pulling the wig off her head and scratching at her scalp lightly.

"I don't know," he told her honestly, averting his eyes.

"You're jealous," she provided for him after a minute. "Why?"

"Do you remember right after you defeated Trigon?"

"Of course."

"I was the one you shared an embrace with. No one else. In fact you told Beastboy to stop hugging you. That wasn't even four years ago yet. I don't understand how in less than four years you could go from rejecting Beastboy's affection constantly to letting him sleep in a bed with you."

"You say it like it was four days ago Robin. Four years is a very long time."

"I just . . . are you choosing to be with him for your child? You don't have to have a relationship with someone just because . . ."

"Whatever is or isn't happening between Gar and I is our business and ours alone. You don't have the right to dictate to me about my personal life." The empath struggled to her feet again, clearly angry now.

"Raven . . ."

"No! Don't you dare lecture me. My choices are mine to make. What did you think was going to happen? That I'd follow you around for the rest of your life? That I'd be content with being the woman who's mind you love while you loved someone else's body? Is that what you thought?" She raised her hands in exasperation, her eyes glittering with either tears or anger, the man wasn't sure which.

"I didn't think that, no." He had thought something similar to it though. "I just thought, you told me once that you never wanted a romantic relationship with someone."

"I told you I couldn't have a romantic relationship," she corrected sharply.

"Right. And if ever there was a spark between us . . . I didn't encourage it. I respect what you say Raven. I've always respected your boundaries and limits. So I thought . . . I did think you and I had something special, something . . ."

"You thought I was your second girlfriend, right? Someone to have deep conversations with and play chess with and . . ." She shook her head, closing her eyes for a moment and taking a deep breath. "I thought we had something special and unique too Robin. I didn't realize that meant I could never have anything special and unique with someone else."

"I never said that," his voice soften some, but she shook her head.

"You just did." She settled back on the edge of the bed, too tired to maintain her anger. "You are the first friend I ever had Robin. You're my leader and I respect you. I look to you to be a compass when I'm not sure which way to go. You . . . I can hardly believe I'm admitting it to you, but . . . you're almost like a father figure." She looked down at the floor, avoiding his gaze.

"I don't want to lose you," he told her gently, stooping and tilting her chin up so he could look into her eyes.

"Then you have to stop antagonizing Garfield. You're making him feel like he has no choice but to leave the team and . . ."

"And you'd choose him over me, right? If he goes, you go?" He pulled his hand away from her, standing upright to tower over her. "You don't have to follow him. You don't have to suffer for his choices. Don't I make you feel safe? Don't I make you feel . . ?"

"I know I'm safe with you, but you've never made me feel anything. You don't push my boundaries, like you said. If he leaves . . . I am going with him. Because I want to. Because he does make me feel. Because he does push my boundaries. Because he gives himself so totally and freely even when I give him nothing in return. You are all my family and I don't want that to ever change. I don't want to leave the Tower and this life yet, but where ever Gar and Bug are, that's my home. They're my home now." Raven rubbed at her face lightly, trying to hide the tear that had escaped her eye. She hadn't realized how true the words were until she had spoken them aloud.

"Okay," Robin whispered after a long silence. "You're right. We are family, all of us. I don't want that to change either. I'll try to be more mindful of everyone's needs." He smiled sadly and sat down beside her. "I'm going to apologize to Beastboy when he gets here. And . . . I'm sorry if I upset you. Your safety is my first priority. I hope I didn't make you doubt that."

"I know your intensions are good. Your delivery just stinks on occasion." She offered him a ghost of a smile, eager to put the uncomfortable tension behind them.

"Yeah, I know," he made a sound that hung between a sigh and a chuckle. "I . . . just to be clear, I do love Starfire."

"I'm an empath Robin. I know how you feel about her. How you feel about all of us. I'm not going to tell her about this, if that's what you're worried about."

"Thank you."

"I'd never hurt her like that. I do care, even if it isn't overly apparent."

"I know you do. We all know that." Robin sat a hand on her shoulder again and this time she allowed it to stay for a moment.

"Rita's coming back down the hall," Raven told him, her stomach rumbling loudly at the idea. He stood again, putting some space between them. "I'm glad we talked Robin."

"Me too."

* * *

Raven was beyond exhausted as she climbed out of the shower, looking down on her still rather tan skin with a frown. Rita had promised it would wash off, but had failed to mention that it would take time and multiple showers to get rid of the soft brown that looked so unnatural upon her. At least the heavy make-up was gone and she had been able to wash the sweat out of her hair. The wig was itchy and hot. Too bad Rita was just going to force her back into it tomorrow morning. She grumbled softly to herself as she used the unpleasantly stiff towel to dry her skin. The motel was cheap. Rita had offered to pay for rooms at a much nicer hotel, but Robin had declined. The empath tossed the towel onto the cold, tiled floor and stepped onto it as she exited the bathtub. The back of the bathroom door was a full length mirror and she paused to look at her naked figure for a moment. She had never looked into a mirror bigger than the vanity mirror in the bathroom before her pregnancy. She never had any real interest in looking at herself. There was nothing interesting enough about her form to capture her attention. Now though, with her body changing under the demands of her pregnancy, she found herself fascinating. It was amazing how far her skin could stretch, how much her body could shift to accommodate her child. As ordinary Raven claimed pregnancy to be, it was its own ordinary miracle. Her fingers pressed at the firmness of her middle, taking note that her belly button was threatening to go from an "in-y" to an "out-y" from the pressure. She hoped that wouldn't be a permanent change. Her focus shifted after a time, her head tilting slightly as she took in her appearance as a whole. She was trying to see what Garfield saw when he looked at her. He said she was pretty and he had meant it. She just wasn't sure how he could see her that way. The empath shivered and gave up on her inspection a moment later though. She grabbed the clothing Gar had brought for her. Though she had several new pairs of pajamas she had bought to accommodate her growing girth, he had decided to provide her with a pair of sweatpants and one of his own t-shirts for nightwear. Perhaps he hadn't been comfortable rooting around in her dresser draws, but she suspected he liked the implied intimacy of her wearing his clothing. The shirt was comfortable and well worn, a favorite that he often wore on casual days.

"Rae, you okay in there?" He called as she slipped the shirt over her head. She was a creature of habit and he knew how long it usually took her to shower.

"Fine," she replied, pushing the door open. He stood between the bathroom and the bed, a smile twisting his lips upward when she appeared. He was already dressed for bed or more accurately undressed for bed. Though the first few times they had shared her bed he had worn a shirt and full length pants, he had slowly migrated toward nudity. Raven still wasn't sure why she hadn't said anything about his gradual shift toward indecency. He was just in his boxers and she took a moment to process that this was neither surprising nor unnerving.

"You look so tired Rae. I'm sorry I couldn't get here sooner." He and Cyborg had somehow made the four hour trip in two hours and forty-three minutes. She couldn't have asked for a more prompt response.

"It's just been a long day," she told him, passing by him to settle on the bed. She crawled in, thankful that he had already pulled down the blanket and sheet.

"I know," he joined her, propped up on his elbow, looking down at her. "I swear, if Rob hadn't apologized, me and you would 'ave spent tomorrow house shopping." He smiled at the thought, his gaze far away for a moment.

"It's best to stay with the group. It's safer," she told him with a yawn.

"I guess that's true," he replied after a moment. "It does make me feel better to know Cy is always thinking up new ways to keep the tower secure. And having Star to back me up in a fight if something happened . . . I couldn't ask for better." Carefully he scooted closer, watching her intently for signals she was becoming uncomfortable with his proximity. She had seemed eager to be near him since he'd arrived. Even before he could make his way to her when he and Cyborg entered the room, he as a tiny cricket on his friend's massive shoulder, she had gotten up from the edge of the bed where she sat, moving toward him. She had stood close by his side as the group talked and Robin delivered his seemingly heartfelt apology. Her fingers had periodically touched the back of his hand or arm. By Raven standards she was practically all over him.

"It's cold in here," she murmured, pulling the blanket a litter higher on her body. It wasn't a particularly cold night, but the room's air conditioner would not cut completely off and ran constantly on its lowest setting.

"Yeah, a little." Slowly, carefully he drew her to his body. She didn't fight against the movement, she tensed briefly, but the reaction seemed beyond her control and her muscles relaxed just a second or two later. "I'll keep you warm," he whispered against her ear, feeling her shiver.

"Gar?" the empath muttered quietly, her eyes fluttering open again.

"Humm?" he nuzzled at her cheek with his own lightly, taking advantage of her seemingly passive mood.

"Why do you think I'm pretty?" It was an exceptionally girly question and she probably never would have asked it if not for the fatigue that had clouded her judgement.

"Because you are," he replied without hesitation. "You're more than pretty, you're beautiful."

"But why do you think that? No one else ever has."

"Firstly, that isn't true. There are plenty of guys that think you're beautiful. I can't tell you how many times I . . ." he sighed loudly, then continued. "I can smell their interest in you. It's always made me crazy. The animal parts of me want to fight them, hurt them. My territorial male side wanted to let them know they didn't have a right to be looking at you that way."

"I've barely been out of the Tower since the pregnancy began. It couldn't have driven you too crazy."

"This started way before Bug happened Rae," Gar said after a moment, letting his nose nudge at her jaw. He was sure she was about to reclaim her personal space, but he would enjoy her while he could.

"How long before?"

"Years." He was a strong believer in honesty, especially when the woman he was talking to could sense a lie effortlessly.

"Why?"

"Because part of me always considered you mine Raven. I know that might be wrong, but that's just the way it's always been. Your inner animal always spoke to my own."

"I don't have an inner animal," she reminded flatly, her fingers curling in the comforter and tightening there when his warm lips touched the place where her jaw met her neck. He wanted her to relax her shoulder and give him access to her throat. Placing his mouth there, having her allow it would be a powerful, symbolic gesture. She didn't need to decode his emotions to know this. She didn't have an inner animal, but her inner demon was not far removed from the basic impulses and acts that lived under the changeling's own skin.

"You know what I mean," he breathed against her skin. In turn his lips and nose nudged and worried at the underside of her jaw, waiting. She would have moved away already if she was going to. No fear wafted from her and other than her shoulder bunched against her neck, her muscles were relaxed. It was just a matter of determination now and that was something Garfield Logan had an ample supply of.

"Yes, I know what you mean," she admitted softly, yawning again as she considered. She was still unsure if she could honestly ever handle a romantic, sexual relationship. She had told him that, she had given him fair warning. She did want a partner though. Someone to share her life and the responsibility of child rearing with. Someone that wasn't afraid of her, someone that would push when they should. Someone that would fearlessly continue to chip away at her shell. Slowly her shoulder relaxed, her eyes slipping shut to hide from the intensity of his gaze. She couldn't hide from his emotions though. Why hadn't she noticed how much the changeling loved her before that moment? Had she subconsciously blocked it out or had he been able to repress the emotion to hide it from her? Her shoulder nearly shot back up in guilt. She was about to make an agreement in which he would end up on the losing end. She could never hope to love him even a fraction as much as he loved her. He deserved someone with a heart as big as his own. It was too late though. His cheek brushed past her shoulder fleetingly as he darted forward. His lips touched reverently at the place he had picked the night prior and then he bit down.

He didn't bite hard, not nearly as hard as he wanted to. If she wasn't pregnant and had the ability to heal herself, that might have been a different story. He didn't want to risk actually hurting her though, no matter how loud his instincts were shouting for him to bare down harder, to exert more pressure to ensure she always carried the proof of their covenant. This was a sacred promise, infinitely more sincere than a silly man on one knee, presenting a polished rock to his heart's desire. He didn't bite as hard as he could have, but it was still hard enough for his jutting lower canine to break her skin. The other three incisors itched to dip into her soft flesh as well, but he released her before the temptation grew too strong. He lapped at the assaulted skin for a moment then moved back up to face her, taking a moment to rub his cheek against her jaw and cheek again, like a cat leaving its scent upon another. Raven met his gaze, looking unmoved by what had just happened. Her expression always seemed rather placid though and it didn't bother him. Deep in her eyes he saw resigned contentment and that was enough. He opened his mouth to gush promises but she hushed him, reaching up to tangle her fingers in his hair. This took him off guard, but he allowed her to maneuver his head, bringing him closer. For a moment he was certain she was going to kiss him, but she simply guided his forehead to her own. She released her hold, but he remained, his eyes slipping shut, enjoying the feeling of her breath on his face. She whispered a few words in her native tongue and he wondered if it was supposed to be a spell. She had practically no magic so it seemed unlikely. It was an oath perhaps, a promise or a prayer. She didn't seem inclined to tell him and he didn't ask when she finally pulled away. They settled side-by-side and he didn't hesitate to pull her into his arms now. Her muscles flinched as they always did, like they always might, but it passed quickly and she was glad for his warmth and companionship. He was hers now and she his. She might never be able to give him love, physically or emotionally, but she wouldn't deny him these simple moments of connection.


	16. Love Bites and Road Rash

16)

Love Bites and Road Rash

Cyborg was staring at her neck again. He had looked up from his unsatisfying continental breakfast of stale bagel and cream cheese to glare at the bruised skin upon the left side of her throat. When he'd first entered the room with their breakfast he had made a startled sound when his eyes had landed upon the discolored skin and he opened his mouth to speak. Raven had managed to glare hard enough at him to stop the comments before they started, but the cybernetic man seemed incapable of controlling the urge to gawk at her. Thankfully both Robin and Rita were far more successful in pretending they couldn't see the bite mark at all. The empath gnawed at her bagel half-heartedly, glad when Rita called her away so she could apply her make-up and help her into her wig.

"I cannot believe you Man!" Cyborg half whispered after the bathroom door closed behind the women. "You gave her a hickey?"

"No." This was somehow both the truth and a lie at the same time. His mouth, his teeth in particular, had caused the imperfection on her skin, but a hickey was something some sexually frustrated boy left on a girl's neck. The mark wasn't there due to overzealous petting. It was a symbol of their commitment to each other. The changeling doubted he could explain it in a way his friend would understand.

"Dude, it's clear as day! I . . . it's blowing my mind that she let you do that." His lips formed a hard line. "You didn't do it while she was asleep, did you?"

"No," Beastboy sighed, poking at the inedible pastry in front of him. "The food here sucks."

"Apparently not as much as _you_ suck," Cyborg joked, trying to shake the mental image that was lodged in his brain which involved Beastboy attached to Raven's neck like some oversexed lamprey.

"I might occasionally bite . . . but I don't suck," he shrugged and chuckled. "Say what you want Cy . . . nothing's dampening my mood today."

"Why, 'cause you finally got to second base?" Cyborg laughed and Robin continued to force himself to eat his bagel, despite its hard edges, trying to pretend he couldn't even hear the conversation.

"Second base? Dude, I'm not even in the ballpark anymore. I'm like on base eighty-three or something."

"And I don't think you understand how the base analogy works. There is no base eighty-three. Homerun is the furthest there is and I know that didn't happen."

"There is an eighty-third base and I so totally got there last night."

"What does base eighty-three involve then? Astral projection? Turning into a swarm of bees? What?"

"Base eighty-three is the highest base! It's the forever base!"

"You musta hit your head BB . . . you're nuts if you think a hickey, even a particularly gnarly looking one is some sort of ultimate base."

"It's not a hickey and it is the ultimate base."

"It's too early for you two to be so . . . annoying," Robin said with a loud sigh. He hadn't slept well and his head was pounding. "Let's just cut to the chase so you can stop debating. It isn't a hickey. There is no base eighty-three and the baseball analogy is overplayed."

* * *

Beastboy had never been so glad to be stuck in the backseat of a car before in his life. The windows were darkly tinted, making it possible for him to travel without having to transform into something tiny to avoid being seen by other motorists. Rita had the radio on, singing softly along with the music, her fingers tapping time on the steering wheel as she drove. Though Raven could have taken the passenger side seat at the front of the car, she had opted to sit in the back with the changeling, something that made his heart swell with joy. He hadn't even asked her to join him.

"This morning, I woke up with this feeling I didn't know how to deal with," Rita sang, pushing her sunglasses a little higher up the bridge of her nose. "And so I just decided to myself I'd hide it from myself and never talk about it." She had always liked upbeat music from decades long since past. "And didn't I go and shout it when you walked into my room? I think I love you! I think I love you so what am I so afraid of?"

"The Partridge Family is the wisest of all the family bands," Gar told Raven with a chuckle, his fingers lightly caressing over the back of her hand and wrist. Even if Rita glanced into the rear view mirror she wouldn't be able to see the slight contact, so the empath allowed it.

"Even wiser than the Brady Bunch?" she asked, turning her hand so that his fingers played over her palm. She decided she liked the sensation.

"Way wiser."

"Believe me, you really don't have to worry. I only want to make you happy. And is you say, hey go away I will." Rita continued happily, her head bobbing slightly. "But I think better still I better stay around and love you."

"We'll be home in just another hour," the changeling murmured, testing his boundaries, letting his fingers worry at the cloth of her pant leg. He fidgeted with the fabric that covered her outer thigh, working his way toward her hip. She seemed to be ignoring his exploration, at least for the moment. "It'll be nice to sleep in our own bed tonight."

"It definitely will be. The motel sheets were stiff and the comforter was itchy." She hadn't missed the use of the word "our" or the happiness he felt when she didn't bother to correct him. Higher his fingers probed, tracing her hipbone through her pants. The empath glanced toward the front of the car, reassuring herself that Rita was still focused on driving and singing a bit too loudly to her retro music. She could tolerate his more intimate touching when she was certain they didn't have an audience. If she was being honest with herself she was more than tolerating it. She enjoyed it. His fingertip pressed at her navel now, almost like he was trying to coax it back in where it belonged. And then his fingers were walking downward and she felt heat flare at the contact. He clearly hadn't intended the downward stroke to be sexual, she felt no desire from him at the moment of his south bound touch. That changed quickly though. A second or two after the flush of heat hit Raven he made a very soft, very odd sound. It never ceased to amaze her how wide his vocal range was. He could emit deep growling noises, high pitched chirps and nearly everything in-between. This noise was almost like a couple notes of birdsong, but deeper in pitch than she imagined any bird could ever sound. He inhaled deeply, repeating the sound, this time leaning closer to breathe it into her ear. Desire was crackling hot within him now and she couldn't help but feed off of the emotion, her irises darkening slightly as her pupils dilated. His fingers trailed lower and she shifted, biting her lip to keep from making some embarrassing sound.

"I smell . . . Rae . . . I smell . . . _you_ ," he rumbled against her ear, so soft she could barely hear him even with his lips ghosting against the shell of her ear. She knew exactly what part of her "you" was and a strange tremble seemed to invade her body, making her shake. The changeling moved away from her and confusion and disappoint ran rampant for a moment but then he turned back to her, his discarded jacket in his hand. Carefully he lay it over her, covering her lap and chest in the guise of keeping her warm. Debauchery danced in his eyes though, the green there so darkened by lust it could nearly be mistaken for black. Those eyes darted toward the driver's seat, watching briefly. Rita had cut her music up a bit louder, singing happily to a song by Three Dog Night, seeming nearly like she had forgotten she had passengers at all. His hand snuck under the jacket to settle low on her stomach, very low.

"Gar," she breathed, not completely sure what she was attempting to convey with the word. She wasn't telling him to stop exactly. Why couldn't she think straight?

"Shhh," he breathed right back, his eyes again checking to ensure their moment was passing unnoticed. He dropped his head and nipped lightly at his place on her neck, blanching slightly at the taste of make-up. The bruise on her skin was barely visible beneath Rita's handiwork. He ignored the unpleasant taste, letting his mouth open against the skin. Nimble fingers were moving again, lower and lower. In turn the empath's mind declared his fingers too low only to decide a heartbeat later they were not low enough. Her heart felt like it was going to explode from the confines of her chest at any moment. She shouldn't let him do this for at least half a dozen different reasons. Rita was right there and they could get caught. If he got used to such intimacy it would be difficult for him once her powers returned and she had to reject him. It would be a struggle to deny herself certain pleasures after she had experienced them. It would set the wrong tone for . . . and suddenly every single word in her head seemed to crumble into dust. The universe had suddenly contracted in on itself so that all of reality consisted of nothing but the feeling of Gar's hot mouth and his fingers. His teeth had dug in with a firmness that should have been uncomfortable, but how could she feel anything but pleasure with his fingers moving like they were? Curling and stroking and prodding at her with that insistent curiosity that he used to approach all new experiences. She wasn't sure how his hand had gotten where it was or why she'd allowed it to travel there without intercepting it. She couldn't begin to focus enough to begin to unravel such mysteries. She couldn't focus on anything but the sensation. The delicious, spiraling sensation. Raven didn't hear the screech of car tires at all as they filled the morning air. She didn't see the truck that had made a sharp turn so it could barrel toward them. She did however hear the ear splitting crunch of metal upon metal as the truck rammed hard into the passenger side door, sending their car spinning out of control.

She was on the street and she wasn't sure how she got there. Raven lay prone on her back, blinking in confusion. Her back hurt and there was blood on her lips. Had she coughed it up or had she simply bitten her tongue or cheek? Groggily she tried to sit up, but her back and arms pained her too much to accomplish more than a feeble floundering. She turned her head, seeing the rental car about a hundred feet away. It was upside down, its wheels still spinning. She could hear music spilling from the broken windows. She could hear people shouting.

"Stand back, I'm a doctor!" A man was saying and suddenly a face invaded her field of vision. He was middle aged, with a strong jaw and deep blue eyes beneath two bushy eyebrows. "It's alright now . . . you're going to be just fine." He leaned closer as if inspecting her face for injury. He smiled in a way that felt less than reassuring. "It's alright now . . . Daughter of Trigon."

"Garfield!" Raven forced herself to scream, her fingers scrambling desperately at the rough concrete beneath her. "Garfield!"

"Hush now, there's no point struggling. I'm here to help you."

"He . . . he's not a doctor!" She shouted to the crowd that had been ushered back by a few people in jackets that suggested they were firefighters, most assuredly cult members as well.

"She's in shock!" The "doctor" shouted in dismay and then grinned. "No matter what you say they'll just assume you're injured and afraid . . . just confused." He reach out, his knuckles wrapping lightly on her middle like it was a watermelon. "I do believe you're ripe enough to pick." Another man appeared, carrying a black leather bag, sitting it beside the kneeling cultist. He began to root inside and the empath again flailed wildly, trying to force her body to move. Her fingers connected with something soft and she pulled it toward her. It was Gar's jacket and as fast as she could she patted at the material, hoping against hope to feel a round lump of plastic. Just when she was about to give up she felt the communicator against her fingertips and she grasped it frantically, her fingers searching for the catch to open it. Eventually it popped open and she was able to press the distress button before the doctor and his assistant pulled the jacket from her grasp, not seeming to realize what she had done. The faux doctor was holding a scalpel and she shrieked again.

"Gar!" She howled as loudly as she could manage.

"We're losing her! She has massive internal bleeding!" The man shouted over her. "The baby has to be delivered or there's no hope of saving it."

"No! Please . . . please don't . . . please." She was dissolving into tears, realizing the desperateness of her situation. There was no escaping them.

"I'm going to give you something to help you sleep," he told her serenely, pulling a hypodermic needle from his bag. "You'll be fine Daughter of Trigon. Once the infant leaves your body your powers will return. You will heal yourself."

"Please don't take her . . . don't take my baby," she wept, her struggles weakening even more after the needle slipped beneath her skin. "Don't take her . . . please don't take her." Her eyes were too heavy to hold open anymore. "Azar . . . protect . . . my . . . Bug." Darkness swallowed her, a strange whooshing ringing in her ears.


	17. Birthday

17)

Birthday

It was too loud. Raven was trying to remember the last time she'd felt so many loud emotions all directed at her. They were so close, pushing and swirling. Fear and concern and compassion and pity. It was like she was drowning in a sea of sentiment. She had felt this before, hadn't she? When . . . right before . . . Trigon. Before the Trigon incident, as Cyborg carried her to her safe room. It had been too loud then also. Her friends had been so worried for her. So worried for the world. Why were they feeling that way now? Her brain struggled and her body ached. She couldn't remember pain like this. Her body had always healed itself and so pain was rare and fleeting. Slowly it was coming back to her . . . the road beneath her injured back . . . the blood on her lips and in her mouth . . . the man . . . the scalpel. Suddenly adrenaline was flooding her nervous system, she had to escape.

"No!" She roared, ignoring the pain in her back as she sat upright.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" A voice was saying loudly. She didn't recognize it right away and she thrashed out toward it, ready to fight. "Easy Raven . . . you're okay."

"Don't touch me!" She snarled at the young man that belonged to the voice. He had a mop of unruly red hair atop the head he ducked just in time to avoid her fist. Moving hurt and she was succumbing to exhaustion fast.

"Lay down! You need to lay down!" He was saying and she could hear new voices now, voices she did know.

"You're okay!" Cyborg was telling her firmly.

"You are safe now Friend," Starfire insisted gently.

"You're going to hurt yourself," Robin lamented loudly. She fought on anyway, confused and in pain. And then hands grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to stay upon the cot she was struggling to get off of. She growled and he growled right back. Raven blinked, realizing her attacker wasn't an attacker at all, simply Beastboy.

"Gar?" She started to shake nearly uncontrollably, her eyes filling with tears.

"I'm here. You're okay, we're all okay." He guided her hand to her middle so she could feel the swell that still jutted from her midsection.

"They were . . . they were going to . . ." Her trembling amplified, her lower lip quaking.

"I know, but they didn't. They didn't Rae, everything is okay." He soothed a hand over her hair, making a soft hushing sound. "You need to lay back though . . . we want everything to stay fine so you'll need to stay in bed for a while." He helped her settled against the cot again. She stared up at him, still shaking uncontrollably.

"Gar I . . . I thought they took her. I couldn't get away. I couldn't do anything."

"You did do something. You called for help and help came." The changeling smiled and pulled a blanket up over her, trying to combat her quaking. He grunted in surprise when Raven grabbed at his hair and pulled him down closer. She guided his forehead against her own, her eyes slipping shut as she tried to force her nerves to relax. Still her body hummed with adrenalin and fear, her lungs too tight, her heart too frantic.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos. Azarath Metrion Zinthos. Azarath Metrion Zinthos," Garfield began to whisper softly. "Say it with me Sweetheart." Her large amethyst eyes opened to look at him for a moment, then closed again.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos. Azarath Metrion Zinthos," they chanted together, the tremor slowly leaving her voice. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos. Azarath Metrion Zinthos." They murmured the mantra for a few minutes, until her heart had slowed and she could fill her lungs with air again.

"Better?" Beastboy asked softly, pulling away slightly. Raven nodded and he smiled. "So, Bug's a girl?"

"Yes," she admitted with a sigh. She had somehow become aware of the information a couple weeks ago as the unborn child became more aware of itself, but she hadn't wanted anyone else to know.

"My little girl," he said with a chuckle, touching her middle lightly.

"What happened?" The empath asked, noting that the room had emptied. She was thankful that they hadn't stayed to watch her emotional break down.

"Friggin' cult rammed us with a pickup truck. It's a miracle no one was more hurt than they were. Rita has a broken arm and some minor cuts and I somehow managed to get away with just a mild concussion and a couple cracked ribs."

"And me? My back . . ."

"The impact was jarring and when you tensed you pulled some muscles pretty badly. It didn't help that they dragged you out of the car over the pavement. The broken glass cut you some."

"Then why do I have to stay reclined, what's wrong?"

"It's just a precaution. Cy says trauma like that can sometimes trigger early labor. He wants you to be on bed rest for a bit, just to be safe."

"How did we get back to the Tower?"

"You hit the distress beacon on my communicator. We were lucky that Kid Flash was so close. Starfire responded too, but it took her about ten minutes to get there. It would have been too late." Raven nodded, wincing slightly at the pain she felt from even this slight movement. She would need to apologize to the speedster. He had saved Bug's life and quite possibly her own.

"The men that . . ."

"Dead," Gar bit out, a low growl following the word.

"Did you . . ." she began with alarm but the youngest Titan shook his head.

"Of course not. Cyanide, just like last time." Silence hung between them, neither seeming to know what to say. At first she thought the suggestion he had killed the men had offended him, the negative emotion she felt from the changeling seeming to suggest this. But the longer the silence stretched out, the more certain the empath became that what he was feeling had more to do with the fact he hadn't protected her. He hadn't been the one to save her. Her lips parted slightly, preparing to ask him to voice his thoughts, but a soft knock on the med bay door silenced her before she began.

"Just checking in," Cyborg told the couple softly, walking toward the cot slowly.

"We're fine," Beastboy replied and the eldest Titan nodded, his eyes settling upon Raven waiting for her confirmation. He'd never seen her on the edge of hysterics before and it had concerned him. Giving her a sedative wasn't ideal for the baby, but if she needed one he would certainly consider something mild.

"Just really sore," she added in agreement. She was considerably calmer and the cybernetic man's built in sensors declared her heart rate within normal ranges again.

"I can give you something for the pain, something that won't affect String Bean Jr too much." He smiled slightly, nearly certain she would tell him no. He could see her head start its slight, sideways movement, ready to deny she hurt nearly as badly as he knew she must.

"All the stress from pain is worse for Bug than a little medicine," Beastboy said softly, surprising both. "I can't stand to see you hurting so much Rae," he added even more softly, pulling the blanket higher on her shoulders to combat the desire to caress her. She wouldn't want that with Cyborg watching, especially after what had happened earlier.

"Okay," she murmured, her head tipping in agreement.

* * *

Thirty minutes later a rather drowsy Raven slipped in and out of sleep, feeling far more comfortable despite the thin plastic of the cot she lay upon. The other Titans had returned to the medical bay and the empath had managed to thank Kid Flash for saving her and apologize to the man for attempting to attack him, before nodding off again.

"Everyone I've talked to . . . I mean, I want you guys to know we're all still with you. No matter what the stupid papers are saying about the Titans." Wally was leaning against the far wall, arms crossed.

"We can't thank you enough for responding to the distress beacon," Robin said, the speedster just shrugging and chuckling.

"I just got there first, that's all. Like I said . . . all the honorary Titans are still with you. We want to help."

"I think we may need help, tracking down this cult. They're getting bolder." The dark haired hero shook his head wearily. He'd had to cut his investigation short after the cult's attack.

"You got it. All you have to do is tell us what you need."

"Guys, can't you go to the common room to talk? Rae's sleeping," Beastboy whispered from his seat next to the cot. Raven's eyes opened slightly and she sighed.

"I'm awake," she breathed, only to have her eyes close again a moment later.

"Actually . . . she'd be more comfortable in her own bed. There's no real reason to keep her here any longer." Cyborg patted the changeling upon the shoulder kindly. "I can carry her up to her room."

"I can do it," the youngest Titan said, standing up and stretching.

"She's pretty heavy Man." Cyborg breathed with a light laugh. The green teen frowned, grunting as he gathered the dozing woman in his arms. She was heavier than he'd expected her to be, but he'd never say so. Carefully he carried her out of the medical bay, Cyborg following behind. Raven muttered softly in her sleep, the words unintelligible.

"Are you sure you didn't give her too much pain medication?" Beastboy asked, looking down at her with concern.

"Of course I'm sure! She's just never had a need for pain management before. She has absolutely no tolerance."

"Giving birth is going to be horrible for her . . . having so little experience with pain means she's got zero pain tolerance too. I hadn't thought about it before." He whimpered quietly at the thought, his arms clutching her a bit tighter to his chest.

"Don't worry about it too much BB. I'm already making plans for the big day and pain management is a big part of those plans." The cybernetic man followed the changeling into Raven's room, moving to pull the covers down. "I'm seriously considering giving her an epidural."

"Dude . . . that's a pretty awful idea." Gently, he lay the empath down, her eyes opening again.

"What's awful?" she murmured sleepily.

"Nothing Rae, just rest," the changeling reassured quietly.

"I'm trying to," she grumbled, glaring up at him.

"Sorry Raven," Cyborg whispered, a smile touching his lips. "We'll leave you to sleep."

"I'm staying," Beastboy replied in a hushed tone. "We'll talk about it later."

* * *

The next few weeks passed surprisingly quickly. Raven had expected the days to crawl by after Cyborg had come to visit the morning after the attack to inform her she needed to be on bed rest for three weeks. Thankfully bed rest didn't actually mean she had to be in the bed, laying down constantly. She was allowed a few hours sitting in the common room each day, though she had to be carried there. An influx of visitors had begun to filter through the Tower. Partly it was a show of solidarity, a declaration from their friends that they were still willing to be affiliated with the Teen Titans. It was also clearly to offer additional assistance and protection from both the city and the cult. Picketers had taken up residence on the shore line and at City Hall, demanding the Titans be disbanded and removed from Jump. It was impossible to turn on a local news station without hearing something negative about Raven or the Titans in general. Trespassers were a growing issue and with the knowledge that the cult was more than ready to claim the empath's unborn baby, each had to be looked at as a potentially deadly threat. A member from Titans East was almost constantly in the Tower, treating the visit nearly like a patrol shift, trading off every couple days. Kid Flash came back to visit about twice a week. He brought Jinx with him once, but the sorceress was on edge the entire time, admitting begrudgingly that she was concerned the bad luck that followed her constantly would somehow manifest. And the last thing the group needed was more bad luck. Robin had gone back to follow up on their lead just a couple days after the accident only to find that Mr. Yarrow's bookstore had been burned to the ground. The old man himself was fine, but Luke had disappeared, taking the chance of a new lead with him. It was a blow to the moral of the team, the mood already somber. Still, it was nice to see so many friendly faces that brought with them a sense of normalcy that had been missing for far too long. Rita stayed on for two of those three weeks before leaving, wanting to be there for Garfield's birthday, an event she hadn't be present for in years.

* * *

The changeling's eighteenth birthday was far more low key than he had probably imagined it being. There was cake and Rita made eggplant parmesan for dinner, declaring the meal to be utterly meat free, despite Cyborg's mostly good natured complaints. There were a few gifts and Starfire sang a long, high pitched Tameranian birthday song. After the group spent a couple hours watching one of Beastboy's favorite scary movies, they went their separate ways for the night.

"Are you disappointed?" Raven asked softly, looking up from the book she was reading. He was sprawled out beside her, a hand held game clutched in his hands.

"About what?"

"Your birthday."

"Of course not," he laughed lightly, cutting the glowing game system off and sitting it on his bedside table. His grin grew. "You'd know if I was," he reminded, rolling onto his side so he was facing her.

"True. I suppose it was a roundabout way of asking why you aren't disappointed. Eighteen is a big milestone and we treated it like every other birthday."

"Despite everything I think this is the best birthday I've ever had Rae. We had a great, totally vegetarian dinner that everyone ate. It always feels so . . . bad to be the odd man out. You know, when I'm stuck with a salad or some tofu I warmed up while everyone else eats these elaborate dinners. I really liked actually sharing a meal." He reach out and idly began to stroke at her middle, reveling in the fact he could do so freely. "Rita was actually here and we had chocolate cake and I got a game I've been wanting. And now I'm relaxing in the bed I share with the most beautiful girl ever. I have nothing to be disappointed about."

"We'll have to make it a point to eat more meals together." She watched his ungloved fingers moving over her stomach, wondering why she hadn't noticed that the distinction between what he ate and what everyone else ate bothered him before. The empath was coming to the realization that she had been too thorough when blocking out other's emotions. There was so much she hadn't bothered to learn about those around her.

"Me and you eat breakfast together practically every morning. I love that." He let his head flop down on the pillow, large green eyes twinkling up at her.

"I like it too. Your fake eggs aren't nearly as horrible as I thought they would be." Raven sat her book aside, slowly shifting into a completely reclined position.

"I'm gonna get you to try the tofu bacon one of these days." He teased, cutting off the lamp and plunging the room into darkness.

"I don't eat fake meat, Gar. I've told you. But . . . I've been thinking . . ." A soft yawn interrupted her words.

"You're gonna stop eating meat?" He asked excitedly, propping himself on his elbow again to look down at her.

"No, but I think I like the idea of bringing the baby up with a healthy diet."

"A healthy, meat free diet?"

"Yes," she agreed after a moment and he made a delighted sound.

"This is the best birthday present anyone has ever given me!" He told her sincerely, pressing his cheek against her own. "It really, really is."

"It isn't a present. It's just being practical." She smiled slightly though, pleased that he was so happy.

"Sure, sure. The only way it could be better is if you'd stop eating meat until Bug is born." He wasn't completely serious about the request, he knew she wasn't going to give up the foods she seemed to crave most. Much to his surprise she laughed lightly, her slender fingers curling lightly around his forearm.

"I'll make you a deal. The next time I'm pregnant I won't eat meat." A strange sadness tried to well inside the changeling for a moment. There would never be a next time. Still, he pushed the thought away, chuckling. It was so rare for Raven to be in a playful mood.

"I'm gonna hold you to that," he told her with a soft smile as he pulled her close, ignoring the slight jerk her muscles gave before relaxing.


	18. The Last Supper

18)

The Last Supper

It was the morning of her last day of bed rest when Raven jolted awake, suddenly aware of a presence in the room. The sun was just starting to rise, not yet visible over the window sill. The fear she felt faded into annoyance quickly. It was just Starfire. She was crouched beside the bed, her face uncomfortably close to Raven's when she turned to look at her.

"Greetings Friend," she said softly, making a surprised sound when Beastboy suddenly sat upright in the bed, growling loudly. The unexpected voice had startled him and he glared blearily at the alien princess for a second or two before his brain seemed to process that there was no threat. He flopped back down onto the mattress, grumbling to himself before his breathing evened out again as he drifted back to sleep. "My apologies for startling you both."

"Starfire, is everything okay?" Raven whispered, confused by the nervousness the other woman was feeling.

"Yes, I am most okay. I simply wished to speak with you."

"It's very early."

"I am aware, but you must understand that what I am about to swear . . . it must be sworn as the first sun aligns with the horizon." Starfire's eyes shifted to the window and then back to the still reclined empath. "I am certain you remember the meeting of my sister, Blackfire."

"Yes, I remember."

"She was not . . ," the orange hued girl seemed to search for the right words for a moment. "She is not the kind or sisterly. This once caused me great sadness." She cleared her throat and smiled softly. "It no longer makes me feel such sadness. I wish to make a pledge with you Raven." The nervousness she felt grew and she shifted about slightly, taking a deep breath. "I have been acquainted with you for many years now. You have been the truest of friends and I wish to be your sister. On Tamaran sisters are bound to protect each other and the children that their sister produces to the death. There would be no greater honor than to call you sister and to offer my life for that of your own and your most precious offspring." Starfire took another shaky breath and extended her right hand, her palm up and fingers splayed. "Will you accept my offer of sisterhood?"

"I would never ask you to die for me," Raven whispered, looking down at the offered hand.

"I shall not die if I need not, however to die for a sister is a great honor. The sun is in the correct position and you must accept or decline," Starfire replied, her tone serious and pensive.

"I've always been your sister Koriand'r." An impossibly pale hand settled in the brightly colored one, squeezing gently.

* * *

October faded into November and the tension in Jump City continued to grow. The Titans were often met with hostility whenever they entered the city limits to fight crime. Everywhere the citizens cast distrusting glances in their direction. Mothers that had once encouraged their children to speak to the heroes now pulled their young away as they walked down the street, random voices hissing or cursing had replaced cheers and thank yous. In the waters surrounding the Tower boats ceaselessly moved, the pontoons full of church congregations had been joined by tourist snapping pictures, picketers shouting slogans, and recently and most upsetting of all there were often groups of self-proclaimed Satanists. The sort that based their "religion" on horror movies and hatred. Their shouts of praise mixed with the cries of woe and warning creating an endless dull roar that could never be completely drowned out. Slowly the honorary Titans stopped their visits, though they stayed in regular communication. This distance was at Robin's request. The young man was wise enough to know their constant presence could only serve to poison the citizens of the city and even the country to all super heroes and not just the Teen Titans in general.

Rita did return however, just as she promised she would. It seemed she had abandoned her ideas about a quiet, Midwest life. When she returned she came with boxes and bags that suggested she had no intention of leaving. Cyborg offered to prepare a room for her on the guest wing, but she balked at the idea of being a guest and made herself at home in the room that had belonged to Beastboy since the Titans had formed. Robin, who had become increasingly quiet and removed from the group, seemed to have no opinion on the matter.

"We're having vegetarian lasagna for Thanksgiving," Raven told Cyborg with no preamble a sunny Saturday morning two weeks before the holiday. She was sitting beside him at the kitchen table, enjoying a thick slice of ham and a heaping pile of fried potatoes. Beastboy sat some distance away, at the bar where he looked up sharply from the small wooden horse he had been painting. The changeling had bought the simple, unpainted mobile for the baby and had been enjoying decorating each little animal.

"Like Hell! I already bought a turkey." Cyborg looked at her like she had completely lost her mind, his one eyebrow arching high. "You love my turkey."

"I do, but that doesn't matter."

"Of course it does. I guess we can do both . . . even though lasagna is not a food you should ever cook for . . ."

"No. The whole meal needs to be meat free." Raven stood with a grunt, walking to the refrigerator. With only a month and a half to go until her due date her middle had swollen to a size she would have thought unattainable.

"Why?" Cyborg looked down on his plate and his ham with what seemed like affection.

"I want us all to share a meal." She waddled back to her seat, a bottle of apple juice in hand.

"We share a meal every Thanksgiving. Last year we all . . ."

"All Beastboy had on his plate last year was cranberry sauce and macaroni salad. That isn't sharing a meal." The empath interrupted with a shake of her head.

"Rae . . . it's okay, no one else wants a Thanksgiving with no turkey." Gar said softly, his eyes squinted slightly as he applied tiny white dots to the pink horse.

"See? Grass Stain understands that . . ."

"It isn't okay. I'll cook if you don't want to. Just humor me. I'm just asking for one Thanksgiving, just this one." She looked back down at her plate, poking her ham with her fork. Her eyes were burning slightly and she wanted to ensure they didn't see the tears that were trying to form.

"You can't even bend over to put things in the oven," the cybernetic man reminded loudly, but kindly. "If it means that much to you Raven then we'll do it. But next year there's going to be double the meat."

"Agreed."

* * *

It wasn't unusual for Raven to wake up in the middle of the night. The once quiet twilight was now often charged with emotion and that coupled with the pressure upon her bladder, often lead to a restless night's sleep. And so it was no great surprise when she awoke for the third time that night, the need to visit the restroom boarding on urgency. What was strange was that Garfield was already sitting up in bed, wide awake. Silently he stood and rounded the bed, helping to hoist the empath to her feet, following behind her as she hurried out of the room and into the hall. Usually he would hum or try to talk to her through the bathroom door, but he was unusually quiet as he waited for her. Together they walked back to the bedroom and the changeling settled on the edge of the bed, watching her as she settled again, not moving to lay beside her.

"What's wrong?" Raven asked, sitting up again with some effort.

"I'm just thinking," he shrugged, a small smile curling his lips. "I'm fine, go back to sleep." Gar made some vague gesture before turning away from her, looking toward the window, obscured by a heavy curtain. He sighed, his ears lowering slightly.

"Tell me what's bothering you," she insisted instead of laying down.

"The world is just . . . it's an ugly place sometimes. It's so unfair that people are so . . . that they always believe the worst instead of having faith in the best." It was so unlike him to have such negative thoughts and it made the empath shiver. She was accustom to his upbeat outlook on life.

"I know how easy it is to let the negativity of others infect you, believe me I know. But, you're stronger than that. You're strong enough to know that the world is good, even if some of the people in it aren't."

"Some people? It's the whole friggin' city now. Someone spat on Starfire the last time we went out. On Starfire! And she's the sweetest soul, she would never hurt anyone. They hate us, Raven."

"They just don't understand. It's fear, not hate."

"That out there, that's hate." He pointed to the window and the unseen ocean beyond it. "I hear the nasty, ignorant things they say about you and Bug and . . . God help me Rae, I want to just . . . I want to hurt them sometimes. I just want to . . . make them stop."

"I'm leaving," Raven told him softly and he spun around to face her.

"What?"

"That's why I pushed to have the vegetarian friendly Thanksgiving dinner. It will be our last one together as Titans."

"You . . . you said we couldn't just lay low, that it wouldn't blow over and . . ."

"This isn't going to blow over. The world isn't going to forget. I won't be biding my time or hiding out . . . that suggests that someday I'll be coming back. This is over Garfield. I can't be a Titan anymore. I can't be a hero. I need to just . . . disappear and be someone else now."

"You say it like you think you'll be alone." He crawled across the mattress until he was in front of her, their eyes meeting.

"I can't ask you to . . ."

"You don't have to ask. There's nothing I wouldn't do Rae . . . nothing I wouldn't do for you." Gently green hands moved to cup her cheeks and he leaned forward until their noses touched.

"Please don't feel like you have to . . . I'd never keep you from seeing the baby. I know she means the world to you. And I know being part of the Titans means . . ." Her words were silenced as warm lips stole them from her tongue. They kissed for a short eternity before the need to breathe parted them.

"Raven . . . ask me to think about you," he encouraged, his thumb stroking over her jaw. She had asked the changeling to think of many people and things in their game of talking out feelings, but never had she requested he think of her. It seemed her voice had abandoned her as she swallowed loudly, but she nodded and Gar moved to pull her forehead to his own as he began to speak. "I'm thinking of how excited I am to see you holding Bug. I'm thinking about how wonderful a mother you're going to be." Pride and affection crashed over her and her eyes closed tight. "I'm thinking about . . . watching you sleep. I do that sometimes. You look so peaceful, so beautiful." There was joy now and the beginnings of desire. "I'm thinking about when you initiate little touches and how it . . . how lucky I feel that you're showing me affection."

"It's not enough." The empath managed to murmur, her eyes opening again. "It's so little and you deserve . . ."

"It isn't little to you Raven. It's honest and real and . . ." His eyes shown with tears and he leaned forward to press soft kisses along her hairline. "And I love that about you. I love _you_ Rae. I love you." More kisses were peppered across her forehead and against the bridge of her nose. "No matter where you go . . . that's where I'm going to be. No matter what. Even if I have to stop being a Titan. Even if I have to were a holoring every time I step out the front door. I promised you." Claw tipped fingers pressed lightly at her neck for a moment before his mouth followed to nip lightly. "I thought you understood what it meant."

"I did understand, but things . . ."

"There is no but," Garfield insisted firmly.

"Things change and . . ."

"And we'll be together for all those changes. You're my mate Rae. That's forever, that doesn't change."

"People . . ." the empath began again and he growled lightly, shaking his head, his cheek brushing against her throat.

"People do make promises like this that they don't mean, you're right. I'm not people. I'm wolf. I'm swan. I'm . . ." he chuckled softly, his fingers tangling in her hair. "I'm raven. None of those animals make idle promises. They mate for life. You don't have to be afraid."

"I'm not afraid," she told him, pulling away so she could look into his eyes again. And this time, she meant it.

* * *

Thanksgiving Day dawned cool, but pleasantly sunny. Raven spent the majority of the early afternoon in the kitchen, preparing their dinner with Cyborg and Rita's help. She had not had much experience with preparing meals and felt rather pleased with herself as each dish passed from the stove to the tabletop looking completely eatable. It helped fuel her confidence, she was soon going to find herself in a home of her own with a small family to feed after all. Though the decision had been made, neither Raven nor Beastboy had told anyone else about their plans. Both agreed that waiting until after Thanksgiving would be best. There was no need to ruin their last holiday together with the difficult news.

Dinner itself was low key and sentimental. The group reflected on holidays they had spent together and talked about victories and defeats alike in their lives as crime fighters. They ate and complemented the empath heavily, Cyborg even admitting that the meat free Thanksgiving was a great idea. It was nice to see Beastboy's plate heaped with the same foods everyone else had. Eventually dessert was passed around and the patchwork family sat about the common room, eating pie and sipping coffee.

"I think this might be one of the best Thanksgivings I've ever had," Rita said softly, picking at her apple pie.

"Most of our Thanksgivings with Doom Patrol were spent out in the middle of nowhere. I think we forgot it was Thanksgiving at all a couple times." Gar laughed lightly at the memory, shaking his head.

"Yeah, a couple years in a row actually," Rita nodded and sighed loudly. "I should have been better at . . ." Her hand made a random, rolling gesture. "At making life more normal for you."

"Normal and super hero don't belong in the same sentence. It's alright Rita. Besides, you made my first Thanksgiving a good one. Steve was so mad that you insisted we fly home, but you wouldn't let up until he gave in."

"That was a good day, even with Steve's complaining," she chuckled and reach for her coffee mug. "Next Thanksgiving is going to be exciting."

"Hell yeah!" Cyborg agreed, shifting forward in his seat. "It's going to be double meat Thanksgiving!"

"I think Rita was thinking more about it being the baby's first Thanksgiving," Raven replied evenly. She had finished her slice of apple pie and had eagerly accepted the piece that Gar had only eaten a bite of from his own plate.

"Oh yeah, that too," the eldest Titan laughed hardily, his eyes twinkling with mirth. "I'll make turkey puree!"

"Bug isn't going to eat meat," Beastboy told him and Cyborg's one organic eye rolled.

"We'll see. And when are you going to give the poor kid a real name?"

"When she's born," Raven provided with a soft sigh. Though the baby's gender was no longer a mystery she had been reluctant to even discuss names with Garfield. He was eager and apparently had even prepared a list, but the empath believed firmly that it was unfair to name a child prior to their birth. How could she agree to a name and risk finding the child she had given birth to looked nothing like the title they had been assigned? That's what had happened to her after all. She'd been named Raven before she'd taken her first breath. Raven, a nuisance bird and mythic harbinger of death. Her mother and the monks of Azarath had been expecting a fiery skinned infant, with horns and claws and too many eyes. She managed to come into the world with only one of those traits however. She had in fact looked practically like any newborn baby should, save her ashen complexion. Perhaps if they had waited to name her they would have been kinder.

"No pressure or anything, but I think Victoria is pretty awesome," Cyborg said around a large bite of pie.

"Rita is pretty good too," Rita parried with a laugh.

"Oh . . . I am thinking Zeppelin is the most delightful sounding word that could be used for a name!" Starfire added, completely missing the point of the joke.

"I kinda like Zeppelin," the changeling agreed with a hint of sincerity that made Raven shake her head firmly.

"Sounds like a super hero name," Cyborg said, smiling. "She'll be growing up in the Tower so you might want to . . ." The empath opened her mouth to speak, but Robin, who had been quiet all day stood and cleared his throat.

"I was going to wait until tomorrow, but . . . I've known for a couple weeks now and I just can't keep you guys in the dark anymore." He took a deep breath and pressed on. "As of the first of the year the Teen Titans will be disbanding." Five sets of eyes stared up at him, the room completely silent. "The mayor of Jump . . . and myself . . . think it's for the best."

"You can't be serious," the eldest Titan mumbled, shaking his head.

"I am. Raven will be twenty in just a couple more months. That leaves only one of us that's still actually even a teen. It's time we grew up and moved on to other things."

"Robin, could we not simply remove the word "teen"? Could we not simply be The Titans?" Starfire blinked innocently up at him.

"No. Jump City needs a break from . . . heroes for a while. I'm hopeful that in a few years there can be a new team. In fact, I think when the city is ready that Cyborg should come back as a mentor for the new group. Until then Titans East said they'd be more than happy to have you."

"That's on the other side of the country," the robotic man reminded, looking around at the others. He couldn't imagine not seeing them every day.

"I know and that's not a bad thing. I'm going back to Gotham. I'm leaving the identity of Robin behind . . . I've outgrown it to be honest. I plan on . . ."

"It doesn't have to be this way," Raven suddenly interrupted. "It's me the city has a problem with. And I . . . Beastboy and I are leaving. Talk to the mayor. Tell him that you kicked me out, that I'll never come back to Jump."

"There is a tremendous amount of pressure from the citizens and it's an election year. It's out of my hands. And I'm not going to turn against you Raven, not even for show. We're a family and that won't ever change. But it's time. It's just time to move on."


	19. The End and the Beginning

19)

The End and the Beginning

The following week was a somber one. Usually, the weekend after Thanksgiving Starfire would spend hours decorating the Tower for Christmas. Now, the boxes sat in the basement, slowly being picked through and divided by the group. Robin insisted the Tameranian could still decorate, but she had sullenly refused. In an attempt to cheer the alien princess up he had gone out and bought a smaller tree and decorated it himself. The orange hued girl had burst into tears when she entered the common room and saw the thoughtful token though. Stoically their leader insisted the tree remain erected beside the large window overlooking the ocean and he hung a wreath on the front door.

* * *

"I don't think we'll ever have a view like this again Man," Cyborg said softly, his head tilting slightly in contemplation. He was putting the finishing touches on the holo-rings he had created for Beastboy and Raven and needed to ensure that direct sunlight didn't distort the false image. The changeling stood in front of the common room window with the sun directly behind him, holding his arms out at his side as he had been instructed.

"You'll be coming back here. In just a couple years too, I bet. And it'll be nice to help out the Titans East in the meanwhile." It was strange to hear the shape shifter's voice rise from the image of a blonde haired man.

"Stand natural now and move around a little," the eldest Titan directed after a moment. "It's so cold on the East Coast. I don't know if I'm going."

"Buy a coat then. It isn't that cold anyway. It's not like its frigging Russia or something. Tell 'im Rae," his hand swung in the direction of the couch where Raven sat. She had been studying her wrist in interest, amazed by the faint blue veins that now appeared just under her skin. Despite how pale she naturally was her skin was thicker than a human's and her veins were never visible.

"Pretty sure you just told him," she mumbled, glancing up only briefly. She should probably become accustom to looking at the changeling while wearing the holo-ring, but she found her eyes drifting away quickly again. While the empath usually found him exceptionally attractive, Raven found herself less than thrilled with his now very normal appearance.

"I just . . . it isn't just that it's cold. It won't feel like home." Large shoulders shrugged and he forced a smile to his face. "I think I might go to college . . . be a regular guy for a while."

"You can just download anything you want to know into your memory banks," Garfield pointed out, turning to look at his own reflection in the window.

"I'm guaranteed to be a straight A student then. Alright Grass Stain . . . looks good, I think you're all set. What do you think Raven?"

"The disguise is very good, no matter how he moves the image doesn't waver."

"But, how do I look?" The changeling asked, turning to face them again. Pink lips curled into a small smile to revel straight, average teeth.

"Very much like I imagine you would have looked had you never gotten sick," she replied, skirting the question again.

"Not just very much," Cyborg interjected proudly. "This image is 97.6% accurate. That's nearly exactly what he'd look like. And your image," he pressed on, offering a heartfelt smile, "is just as accurate a representation of what you'd look like as a human." Raven's eyes shifted past Gar for a moment to look at herself in the window's reflection. With her holo-ring on her skin was still very fair, but touched with warm rosiness in places. Her lips were a soft pink, the skin under her nails a soft blush color that screamed life compared to her usual grayish hues. Her hair was a shimmering black, her eyes deep blue.

"We look awesome!" Beastboy agreed, bounding over and plopping down on the couch beside the empath. He put his arm around her shoulders, not missing the way she winced away from him slightly before forcing herself to remain still.

"Sorry," she muttered when he cast her a questioning glance.

"Uh-oh . . . there's a little interference when you guys touch." Sure enough in the place where their sides nearly connected the images distorted slightly with a strange static. "It's easy enough to fix. I'll be right back."

"It's weird, huh?" Gar asked softly after the cybernetic man had exited the room.

"Yes."

"It'll take some getting used to, but it isn't all bad, right? No one will know who we really are. And you get to look at someone handsome for a change." He waggled his fair eyebrows at her and smiled, though the expression looked superficial. Sadness rolled off him and she shook her head, sighing loudly.

"I will get used to it, but . . . to be completely honest I don't think this version of you is an improvement."

"Oh," he blinked a couple times and cleared his throat. "So either way I'm kinda . . . ugly."

"No," Raven retorted firmly. "You are not ugly. I just meant that I like the real you better Gar, that's all."

"Because that's what you're used to. . . I get it."

"Because it's what I'm accustom to, yes." She shook her head, realizing she would have to say more if she wanted to salvage his already fragile self-esteem. "And . . . it's what I like. I like the way you look. I think you're rather appealing."

"Appealing, as in attractive?" He asked softly as if he was certain he was misunderstanding her. The empath nodded in conformation and he smiled his strange, fang-less smile again. "For the record . . . I think you look better as the real you too."

* * *

Raven stood in the middle of the room that had been a nursery just days before, feeling somewhat crestfallen. All the furniture, once ready to receive the newest resident of the Tower, was now again disassembled. The mobile and stuffed animals Beastboy had already bought were packed away in boxes, each labeled "Bug". Violet eyes wondered over to the green changeling, who was taping up the last box. He stood and tilted his head upward. Raven did the same, looking at the stars that still adorned the ceiling. Terra's stars, he hadn't painted over them.

"I'm gonna paint stars for her," he muttered, eyes still trailing over the golden pattern. "And maybe the moon too . . . a little crescent moon." Slowly his eyes lowered until he was looking at the empath, a sad smile tugging at his lips. "It's hard to believe this will be our last night sleeping here."

"Agreed. The apartment is . . . okay though." She wanted to say nice, but she couldn't bring herself to mutter the word. The apartment was just that . . . an apartment. It had two bedrooms and a small galley kitchen. It had one bathroom and a plain living room with boring eggshell white paint on every wall. It would never be home. Gar promised her they would start making plans to buy a house right after Bug was born. That they could live anywhere she wanted. They just needed to be near the city for a little longer now. The apartment was just a two hour drive from Jump. It was far enough away that the empath couldn't feel the negativity that wafted off the city, but close enough that Cyborg could get there quickly when the time came for Raven to deliver. Starfire had insisted she would be there as well, it was her duty and honor as a sister after all.

"It's just for a little while," he reminded softly, wrapping his arms gently around her middle. The changeling nuzzled his nose against her cheek and jaw lightly, a hand straying into her hair. She sighed, her fingers curling into the fabric of his sweater. "It'll be nice . . . just you and me for a bit."

"I'm due in just twenty days Gar. There won't be much alone time."

"True," he laughed and hugged her a little tighter. She sensed a strange amount of desire suddenly bubble up into his consciousness and she pushed him lightly away.

"What are you thinking?" Raven asked, her eyes narrowing slightly. Green lips parted to say "nothing", then closed again. It was against the rules of his own game. When she asked what he was thinking he felt obliged to answer truthfully.

"I uhhh . . . I was having an animal moment," he grumbled, chuckling uncomfortably. "After the young are born . . . after a while . . . you . . . I mean with animals . . . uhhhh, the female becomes receptive to . . . to mating again," he blushed, his cheeks turning a reddish brown color.

"Garfield . . ."

"I know, I know . . . and I'm sorry. There really isn't any pressure. It was just a passing thought that I shouldn't have let effect me."

"Don't be sorry. It would be unrealistic of me to expect you to never think of certain aspects of a romantic relationship or even to have aspirations or daydreams about them. Your mind and feelings are your own and it would be wrong of me to ask you to modify them just because I'm privy to some part of them." She sighed and took a couple steps away from him. "I just want you to have . . . reasonable expectations. My powers will come back once Bug is born and that will make certain things . . ."

"I want to say something real honest Raven, okay?" He suddenly interrupted, closing the space she had put between them. "Okay?" He prompted again and she nodded after a moment. "I think this is something that needs to happen before the baby is born."

"Why?" She tried to recoil, but he stopped her backward retreat, his right hand grasping her elbow, his left hand cupping the tender area at the base of her head.

"Because you're anxious about it. And fear and anxiety tend to cause more magical outbursts than anything else . . . well, other than anger. After the first time the fear and anxiousness will go away. All the other emotions are manageable."

"I thought you said there was no pressure."

"There isn't. Like I said . . . I'm just being honest and telling you what I really think. I'd never make you do something you didn't want to do. The when and what of our bedroom business is totally up to you."

"I can't," she told him mournfully, her pale lips turning down in a slight frown.

"That isn't true Raven. Of course you can. You're choosing not to, which is completely fine. But don't tell me you can't."

"I can't!" The empath insisted again, shaking her head. "It isn't an option for me."

"Tell me why then. Without using the excuse of emotions or magic . . . tell me why."

"It isn't an excuse! It's a fact. It isn't an option for me. I told you that before we became whatever the Hell we are now. I can't!"

"That's a lie that you're telling yourself. And I think deep, deep down you know that." He fought the urge to be angry, his words soft and kind instead.

"It isn't fair . . . but it is a fact." His lack of anger defused her own somewhat.

"I know you're unsure. I can't even imagine how much. You grew up constantly hearing how bad and dangerous you are. But right now, in this moment, nothing bad can happen. See?" He lowered his mouth to her jaw, placing wet kisses along the angle, working slowly lower. Gloved fingers lightly caressed down her back, nearly to her rear and then up again. Raven shivered, her eyes slipping shut. "See? We can do whatever we want Rae . . . anything we want right now."

"After . . ." she began, her breath catching in her throat as his tongue laved against the sensitive place on the left side of her throat. The place he had marked when he'd claimed her as his own.

"It's okay to live in the moment," the changeling soothed, his hands moving to grasp at her hips. "Kuna tu wakati huu."

"It's rude to . . . to talk in a language no one else understands." The empath was attempting to rally some semblance of anger or at least the will to pull away from him.

"You do it all the time Mpenzi," he reminded teasingly, his hands shifting again until each palm was grasping a plump butt cheek, kneading rhythmically. Raven swallowed a gasp, trying to focus.

"What did you just call me?"

"Something nice," he assured, pulling his gloves off and tossing them aside. He went back to kneading at her backside, letting his claws dig lightly into her skin. This time she couldn't hide her gasp and he smiled to himself. Sharp teeth nipped at her collar bone for a moment before his nose nudged at the collar of her blouse. One hand stopped its cat like kneading, moving to crawl under her shirt. He pet lightly at her belly and side. She said nothing about the intrusion so after a moment he allowed his fingers to climb higher. Lightly he traced the edge of her bra, again waiting for her rebuff. Though Gar was pushing her boundaries, he respected her limits. He didn't want to push her too far and if she told him to stop he would. No rejection came and green fingers pushed themselves beneath the silk. "I called you lover . . . mate . . . ummm, your skin is so soft Rae."

"I like that," Raven mumbled breathlessly, eyes tightly closed.

"Being called Mpenzi or what I'm doing?" He asked against her ear, nipping lightly at the tender curve.

"Both."

"Then I'll have to do both of them more often from now on." A husky chuckle rumbled from his chest again. The hand that wasn't occupied with her chest skirted to her front, eager fingers caressing over her hip as they came around to press at the junction of her thighs.

"Gar?" Her voice had deepened slightly and he thought it incredibly sexy.

"Humm?"

"I . . . I can. I can and I think . . . I think I want to." She forced her eyes open so he could see the sincerity within them. "Let's go to our . . ." a thunderous roar suddenly sounded somewhere below, shaking the floor beneath their feet.


	20. Run

20)

Run

Smoke filled the common room when the pair entered it, holding hands to ensure they didn't become separated from each other. It was clear that a fire was smoldering somewhere nearby and that there had been a small explosion just within the entry way. Raven coughed and quickly Beastboy lead her away from the ruined room, wanting to get her to fresh air.

"Robin? Cyborg? Starfire? Where is everyone?" The changeling called, choking slightly on the thick smoke as he shouted. He hurried down the hallway, stopping short when he saw a figure moving in the smoke, coming toward them. The strong smells of burning fabric and melting plastic made it impossible for the youngest Titan to identify the individual by smell alone. Closer they came and then staggered out of the smoke to collapse. It was a man, his skin red and blistered, his clothes burnt off in places. His lungs rattled loudly with each intake of breath as he reach out a hand that seemed to be begging for help.

"I . . . did . . . it. I . . . got . . . in," he wheezed, his bloodshot and irritated eyes squinting up at the couple. "Gonna . . . save the . . . world." He clawed at his charred pants pocket, pulling out a pistol. He was badly injured though and Beastboy was able to disarm him with practically no effort.

"Was it worth it Wacko? Huh?" Gar barked at the burnt man that glared up at him.

"The . . . Anti-Christ . . . will . . ."

"There is no Anti-Christ Numbnuts! That's my kid. Mine! You nearly killed yourself for nothing!"

"But . . . I . . . they helped me . . . build the . . . bomb so . . ."

"Who helped you?" Raven demanded, her question answered not by the gasping man, but a shout from within the smoke.

"Daughter of Trigon! It is time!"

Chaos descended upon the Tower just seconds later. The one lone voice was joined by several dozen more, cheering and shouting as they poured from the smoke filled room and into the hallway where the pair stood. There was a moment of shock, the couple staring with wide-eyed fear. The shock passed quickly though and Beastboy grabbed Raven firmly by the wrist, running away from the advancing mob. He paused, slapping at the large red button mounted on the wall. The security alarm had not gone off and even though he couldn't imagine that the other Titans were unaware that something was going on, it seemed the best way to summon the help they desperately needed.

"We aren't gonna get away at this rate!" The changeling shouted to her as they dashed down the hall, thirty men and women just a couple feet behind.

"I'd like to see you try to run when you're nine months pregnant!" Raven retorted breathlessly. She wished desperately for her powers. She could just teleport them wherever they needed to go.

"I'm going to carry you." He slowed slightly, grunting as he hoisted her onto his back. "Hold on tight!" A second later he was a tiger and her fingers clung desperately to his fur as he dashed through the maze of hallways, heading deeper into the Tower. Running at his top speed in this form he was able to finally put some distance between himself and the mob of cult members. Even still it didn't seem fast enough. They were able to keep up well enough to see each turn he took a moment before he took it.

"We're going down! Why are we going down?" Raven shouted, her heels digging almost painfully into his sides. He couldn't exactly answer her, but he made a rumbling sound in his chest to acknowledge the question. They needed an exit not just from the Tower, but the island as well. There were tunnels in the garage that ran underwater and led to the main land. "The tunnels?" She asked with concern, shaking her head as if he could see the movement. "No, they could have come in that way too! We need the roof! They can't fly!"

 _Neither can you._ He thought, huffing. Of course he could have turned into something large and carried her off the roof. He hadn't thought of that and it was too late now. He couldn't rightly turn around and fight the hefty number of cult members alone. Where was everyone else? The door to the garage was fast approaching and the green tiger slowed. Raven would need to type in the code in order for the door to open. If luck was with them she would be able to do so and the door would close behind them before the advancing group was able to get inside. He skidded to a stop right in front of the sealed door and the empath wasted no time in typing in the six digit code. The door slide open and Gar bound forward instantly, nearly losing his passenger in his haste. The door slid firmly shut and his heart soared, only to crash back into the pit of his stomach again a moment later. The garage was far from empty.

The question to where at least one of the other Titans were was answered as they entered the garage. Cyborg was battling a small army of cultists, shouting curses as they swarmed, wreaking havoc on everything within the large concrete room. The T-car had clearly been on fire at some point, the built in sprinkler system had put the fire out and had made the floor slippery, water standing several inches deep. The sedan was on its side like a dead animal, its tires slashed. A couple men were working on shattering the windows. The room fell into a moment of still silence when the pair entered the room, every set of deranged eyes settling on the mother-to-be with sick glee. They surged forward like an ominous wave.

"No you don't!" Cyborg bellowed, rushing forward with sonic cannon blaring to make a path for Beastboy and Raven. The empath felt the muscles under her legs ripple, the only warning she received before the tiger became an elephant. Without fur to cling to she had to fight to remand upon the broad back beneath her. Her knees dug in and her hands grabbed at the edges of the large ears at either side of his head. The changeling trumpeted loudly, carelessly knocking people out of his way with his truck and tusks as he moved toward the tunnel that would eventually lead to the world outside. Behind them the cybernetic man fought on, looking like the group might overcome him at any moment.

"Cyborg!" Raven shouted and the elephant's massive head turned to look back at their struggling team member as well.

"I got this, just go!" He insisted loudly. Still, the changeling began to turn back to assist the eldest Titan. "Get her outta here! Go on!" With a soft, sad sound Garfield did just that. Again his muscles constricted and rippled in a way Raven couldn't help but imagine being rather painful and she was upon the back of a green horse.

Beastboy wasn't sure, but he was pretty certain riding a horse down a five mile stretch of dark tunnel was probably not advisable in the later months of pregnancy. He'd chosen his form carefully though. He was a Tennessee Walking Horse, an equine capable of a smooth gait even while moving at higher speeds. There was very little bounce as he raced toward the daylight he couldn't see yet, but knew was on the other side. Raven's fingers were tangled in his mane, her breath coming in harsh pants. He could smell the fear and anxiety roll off of her like an overpowering perfume. She didn't like the underwater tunnel on a good day. Rushing through it when you were most likely being pursued by babynapping mad men did nothing to improve her opinion of the enclosed space. They were only about a mile away from the exit when the sound of a vehicle joined the rhythmic fall of hooves. As the sound came closer it was clearly a motorcycle.

 _Please be Robin, please be Robin._ The changeling thought, speeding up slightly.

"Not Robin," Raven told him urgently, digging her heels into his flanks as if to urge him on faster. He was already at his top speed in his current form and he thought frantically. He could morph into a cheetah, but he wasn't sure his lean frame could support her weight. The motorcycle was closing in and he settled on a form, his muscles twitching madly for half a second as he took on the form of a pronghorn antelope. It was the second fastest land animal, capable of hitting fifty-five miles per hour. It wasn't a speed he could maintain for long, but hopefully he could hold out long enough to escape the enclosed tunnel. His lungs ached and his heart was slamming painfully into his chest already, but he sprinted onward.

Daylight had never looked so beautiful as it appeared as a small pinpoint before Raven's eyes, growing larger with every bounding stride. She could feel the exhausted desperation rising from her companion and she knew he was pushing his limits to the breaking point. He wouldn't be able to run much longer. Closer and closer the light bobbed until she felt nearly blinded by the sun as they tore from the mouth of the tunnel. There was an unexpected explosion only a couple seconds after they emerged from the opening and the empath's head tilted skyward to see Starfire blasting the opening of the tunnel, cutting off the pursuing motorcycle's path. A moment later her feet were gently set upon the ground and Garfield crouched beside her, breathing hard.

"That was . . . close," he wheezed with a breathless chuckle. Static danced in front of his eyes and he slowed his breathing before he passed out. Starfire landed lightly beside them, her green eyes wide, assessing the pair critically.

"Friend Cyborg alerted me so that I could meet you when you exited the underwater passage. I am relieved that you are both unharmed. You are unharmed, correct?"

"I'm fine," Raven told the other woman softly, setting a hand on Beastboy's back. "Are you alright Gar?" She questioned, watching as he remained in his stooped position, eyes squinted, a hand holding his chest as if to sooth the aching organs within. He offered her a thumbs up, but retched a moment later, turning away as he vomited up his lunch.

"We should not remain in the open." Starfire floated above the road slightly, her keen eyes darting back and forth, looking for any threat. "I can carry you, Sister Raven. Can you fly?" She asked the changeling, who was wiping at his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt.

"Yeah," he nodded, rolling his aching shoulders. He'd never dream of saying so, but Raven was heavy.


	21. Hot and Cold

21)

Hot and Cold

She was dreaming of Garfield's childhood home again. She sat upon the driftwood table, her bare feet swinging slightly so that the grass beneath her tickled over her soles. Evening was falling, the shadows of the nearby trees stretching seemingly on forever. Raven's head titled when a soft sound caught her attention. She turned around slowly, her eyes falling upon a little girl. She was more than a toddler . . . but not much more. Upon waking the empath would have no firm recollection of what the girl looked like, only that she was beautiful.

"It's dark," the girl said, her voice like music, Raven's lips curling upward at the sound.

"Not too dark, don't worry," she soothed but the girl shook her head, frowning slightly.

"We gotta go see Baba . . . you said we would."

"I know Bug . . . but . . . how about tomorrow?" Why did her lungs suddenly feel too heavy at the little girl's request?

"Today. You said today Mama." A tiny hand reach for Raven, fingers splayed wide. As if in slow motion her pale hand closed around it. Suddenly they were walking down a stone lined path, her little girl singing softly. She let go of Raven's hand and ran ahead, laughing loudly, the sound like tinkling silver bells. "Hello Baba!" She greeting in her angelic voice. The rustling of wind in the trees was her only response. The empath slowed nearly to a stop.

"Bug, come back."

"I brought Mama! Look, here's a flower." Tears were gathering and that heavy feeling upon her chest multiplied. Her feet carried her onward and soon she was watching her daughter laying bright yellow wildflowers upon a small slab of granite. "Blood is life. He bled for us didn't he Mama?" The girl asked, looking up from the grave. A sob escaped Raven's lips and she sank to her knees, shaking her head.

"No, please . . . I can't . . . I can't without you." She reach out as if to touch the stone but recoiled, wringing her hands instead.

"It was always us or him Mama . . . don't be a silly goose!" The girl laughed again, wrapping her arms around her mother's neck. "He would kill the world for us. He would die for us."

* * *

"Gar!" Raven exclaimed as she jolted awake, her hands blindly searching in the dark. She felt disoriented, her heart slamming into her chest as she struggled to recall where she was.

"I'm here, shhhh . . . I'm here Mpenzi. It's okay." His warm hand closed around her wrist and a moment later his arms wrapped around her protectively. She was shivering and she pressed closer to him, greedy for his body heat. "Did you have a nightmare?" He murmured quietly against her ear.

"Yeah," she admitted with a soft sigh, slowly recalling where she was. They were in Twisp, Washington. Dayton Incorporated had a small office building where they were hiding for the night. Rita had met them in the tiny, out of the way town after taking an unnecessary three flights to ensure she wasn't followed. The office was really just a front for a safe house. Doom Patrol had a couple in each state and scattered around the world. The office had only two employees, a "secretary" that sat in the front room for appearances and a janitor. The "offices" in the back of the small building served as a bunk room, weapon storage, and supply depot. The bunk room was heavily fortified but the small group had taken turns taking watch duty, acutely aware they couldn't be too careful. Starfire stood at the closed and tightly locked door at the moment, her eyes slightly luminescent as she turned to look back toward the row of bunks. Raven wriggled out of the green arms that held her, self-conscious once she became aware that they were not alone.

"After today I'd be surprised if you didn't have nightmares. I'm sure I would too . . . if I could sleep at all." The changeling yawned quietly, his back propped up against the chilly concrete of the wall. The room was entirely too cold for his tastes and he worried about Raven's health. She lacked the means to heal herself if she got sick. "Do you need another blanket?" He asked after a moment, knowing she would reject any attempt at holding her again.

"I'm fine," she muttered, pulling the two blankets that covered her closer to her chin. She had become so accustom to the fair California weather that she had nearly forgotten what winter felt like. The climate was only going to become more unforgiving as they were planning on traveling into Canada in just a handful of hours. It seemed ill advised to carry out their plan of laying low near Jump until the baby was born now. Beastboy was finally getting exactly what his instincts had been demanding for months. They were running. Running far from the cult, far from the city. Even America itself would be left thousands of miles behind. They would be meeting up with Steve in the Canadian wilderness and in his first act of support since the media turned on Raven and the Titans, he would be transporting them in the Doom Patrol's hoverpod. It was a secret and exceptionally expensive piece of equipment. Like a helicopter it could land and take off with only a small open area. Unlike a helicopter the hoverpod was nearly silent and had a cloaking device that made the small craft practically invisible. It would be next to impossible for anyone to follow them once they were in the air. Garfield hadn't told Steve, or anyone for that matter where they were going after the pick-up. He would tell his adoptive father in person, where there was no risk of unwanted ears somehow hearing.

His paranoia seemed to be shared by all of the group. The idea that the cult had manipulated their way into the Tower had put them all on edge. There were so many cult members and they seemed to have their fingers in far too many pies. It was the reason for Rita's plane jumping, going first to South Dakota, then back tracking to Utah before arriving in Washington State. It was also the reason that Starfire refused to tell Robin their location.

He had called on her Titan communicator a couple hours ago, his face still smudged with soot. When the cult had attacked he had had his hands full, fighting off the mob that had poured into their home. In the end most had managed to escape, losing interest when it became apparent that Raven had fled and was no longer there. A handful, unable to slip back out of the Tower had killed themselves. In the end there were only three cult members that left the Tower both alive and in handcuffs. Robin was originally hopeful that he and the local police could get some answers from the prisoners, but they quickly made it clear that the caped hero was not welcome to join them in their interrogation. Nor did they express any plans on sharing what they found with the young man. It had left him disheartened and frustrated. The damage to Titan Tower was repairable, but it would take some time.

"I'm going to the other city," he told the Tamaranian cryptically, perhaps concerned about the security of the comlink as well. "I took you to the house once, do you remember?"

"Yes, I do recall. I cannot join you there. I must remain with Sister Raven."

"I understand why you want to but . . ."

"Apologies, there is no the but Robin. I will remain until the child is born." Robin sighed loudly, his lips pulling into a sharp frown for a moment.

"Star, I know you mean well, but you . . . you're different. You draw attention and you don't have a holoring. It will be impossible for everyone else to pass unnoticed if you're with them."

"My sister will require my assistance when her birthing time arrives. I will wear the glasses of sun repellent. I will wear clothes to cover my skin and Friend Rita is skilled at the disguising. I will be careful."

"Alright," he sounded impossibly weary, his head shaking slightly. "I guess I'll rendezvous with . . ."

"I believe that is unwise. I do not wish to speak the place we are currently located."

"This is a secure line," Robin insisted with irritation.

"Friend Cyborg once advised me that no line of communication is completely safe from the tampering. Do you not recall the Brotherhood of Evil?"

"Of course I do." It was the reason he couldn't just trace her location using the homing beacon that was within her communicator. The beacon was only enabled if the "panic button" was initiated on a communicator. It was a failsafe to help protect the carrier from being tracked, like what had happened with the Brotherhood of Evil incident.

"Perhaps if you had learned Tamaranian as I requested some time ago . . ."

"Just tell me where you are."

"I will not. We will no longer be in this location very soon. I will not divulge our destination. It is unsafe. It is the stupid, reckless. These are things you taught me."

"You're right, I did." Again the black haired man sighed loudly. "I'll meet you then, at one of the safe locations . . . just tell me the number." There were three bunkers that had been hidden in secure locations, meeting places should the Titans become separated or their means of communication compromised. Beastboy had retreated to one during the attacks the Brotherhood of Evil had orchestrated on Titan and Honorary Titan alike.

"I cannot. Transportation has already been arranged. Friend Beastboy has already done the selecting of the location where we shall remain until the baby is born."

"Let me speak to him."

"I will not. He comforts Raven as she sleeps. I will not disturb them."

"Star . . . why are you being so difficult? I'm trying to help. We're all on the same side, right? All still a team and . . ."

"We are no longer a team, we are doing the banding of this."

"Disbanding. And that isn't until the first of the year."

"Robin . . . you have been removing yourself from the team for many weeks. You are far away in thought. You do not speak to us. More so, you do not speak to me. You do not come to the room with my bed at night any longer. You have left me. Does it surprise you so very much that I am the one doing the leaving now?"

"I . . . Kori . . ," he began softly, but Starfire cut him off sharply.

"Do not speak my name. You will not say the place you have retreated in fear of discovery and yet you speak my given name for our enemies to hear?"

"That wasn't my intention. I know I've been distant and I'm sorry. This has been hard on all of us and I . . . I'm doing the best I can. I've been focusing on solutions. I problem solve, it's what I'm best at . . . it's what I fall back on when I don't know what else to do. And sometimes I let it consume me . . . I know I do. I'm just trying to . . ."

"I do not wish for you to explain. I know much about you Robin. If you know me you will understand. I will return in time and we shall do the discussing of the future. Until that time I will focus upon my sister and her wellbeing." Starfire smiled sadly, blinking away tears. "Goodbye Robin." With a flick of her orange finger she cut the communicator off.

* * *

There was nothing nicer than a hot bath and expensive chocolate. Well, perhaps having them in an upscale hotel room made both just a little nicer. Laying sprawled in the steaming water, her dark brown hair pooled around her in floating tendrils, smiled Priestess. She inhaled deeply the scent of lilac and vanilla, her eyes slowly opening. It was cold tonight and she thought of her devotees. The huddled mass of mindless followers were camping outside, a few miles away in the forest. In tents and sleeping bags they waited for her to return and lead them to their next act of dedication. She laughed lightly at the idea, sitting up and reaching for another piece of chocolate. Was it cold enough for a few to freeze to death? She doubted it and sighed in disappointment. She relished the image of her mindless sheep, so loyal that they would remain where she had commanded them stay, even when it meant their own death. Again Priestess settled her back against the porcelain rim of the tub, her mind musing over the happenings of the day. The group she had sent to Titan Tower had not come back with Raven. She hadn't expected them too or even actually wanted them to . . . but they didn't know that. She'd had a select few flogged for their failure, even though they had done exactly as she had wished. They had driven the heavily pregnant woman from her home. They had forced her to flee.

"Just like the story," she murmured to herself, chuckling softly.

"What story?" A male voice asked from the far side of the room. She had forgotten that Lucas was there, waiting for her to call to him, her large towel slung over his arm.

"The birth story in the Bible. Mary and Joseph had to leave their home and travel far away, to the place of Joseph's birth." And thanks to the felt covered box one of her devotees had brought back with him, Priestess knew exactly where the couple had most likely fled.

"My mother read some kid version of the scripture to me when I was little. Before she ran off with her best friend's husband anyway." His lip curled in disgust, both for his mother and the fairy tale she had told him.

"Before she decided it was better if you didn't exist," she nodded in understanding. "When Trigon comes she'll pay. Everyone will . . . just like they should."

"She tried to call last year about this time. Maybe I should have spoken to her." Lucas shook his head, his dark brown eyes closing for a moment. "Judasa, what we're doing, is it . . ."

"Are you really having second thoughts? After everything we've both been through?" The woman, who had renamed herself Judasa years ago stood, motioning for her companion to bring her the towel he held. "This world is a horrible place. People are heartless, cruel, and too ignorant and lazy to even want to change. Nothing is going to fix this. Nothing but a fresh start. You know it's true."

"I just . . ."

"Who has been kind to you Lucas? Your mother abandoned you. Your father cares more about his books than he ever did your wellbeing. There were bullies at school. Women that broke your heart . . . who's been kind to you?"

"You . . . you've been kind to me," he told her and she pulled the towel away from his outstretched hands, shaking her head.

"Lucas . . . Darling . . . I would slit your throat right here and now to get what I want. I'm using you. Just like I'm using my followers. Just like everyone in the world uses everyone else. It's tolerable to you right now because we want the same things. That's all."

"I love you Judasa and it hurts when . . ."

"Love isn't real," she told him, stepping past him to look into the large oval mirror over the sink. "Love is a trick. A lie people use to make you do what they want. To make you weak." Her head tilted slightly as she studied her foggy reflection. "My mother said she loved me . . . just not more than she loved crack. My grandparents said they loved me . . . but not enough to deal with my issues. And my adoptive parents . . . oh how they loved me Lucas. They loved me so much that they tried to beat the devil out of me. They beat me and starved me and locked me away . . . because they loved me so much."

"I know your childhood was . . ."

"I'm thankful to all of them . . . but especially my new mom and dad. I never would have known Trigon without them. They taught me how evil the world is. Of course they thought praying to Jesus fixed evil, because Jesus loves us. I prayed to Him, just like they told me I should. I prayed to not be evil anymore. I just wanted to be a good girl, so Mommy and Daddy would love me. So they wouldn't hit me. So they wouldn't make me stay on my knees for hours on end, clutching my rosary, reciting until my voice cracked. I prayed and prayed and do you know what happened?"

"What?"

"Nothing. Nothing changed. I was still bad . . . evil. They still punished me in the name of love and divinity. And eventually I knew they were right. The world is evil. The only thing they had wrong was that you could pray that away. That's when I started reading in secret. I started looking. Satan was an obvious choice of course. But if Jesus wasn't real, how could he exist? They were both characters in the same work of fiction. It took a long while and a lot of reading . . . but then I found him . . . I found Trigon." She smiled brightly, using her hand to wipe away the steam on the mirror so she could see herself more clearly.

"He hates us all equally," Lucas said softly and Priestess nodded enthusiastically.

"Exactly. There are no favorites in his eyes. We are all lacking. We are all evil and every last one of us will be treated justly. We'll all be punished." Using her index finger she drew in the remaining steam on the glass, drawing horns on either side of her reflection. "My new parents taught me something else . . . that I could be someone's daughter without a drop of their blood in my veins. Trigon may only have one begotten daughter . . . but she failed him. But I . . . I'll be everything he could want and more."


	22. Peponi

22)

Peponi

The hoverpod was larger than Beastboy had expected it to be, but that was a good thing. From the moment the small group had appeared in the clearing where Mento and the airship waited, animosity had become the most prevalent emotion. Steve glared at Rita and in turn Rita was quick with sharp, biting remarks directed at her estranged husband. It was a blessing that there was plenty of space between the front of the hoverpod, where Steve piloted and the last row of seats where Rita sat, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Seventeen years . . . seventeen years of marriage and it's over just like that," Steve grumbled more to himself than Gar, who sat beside him in the co-pilot seat. The changeling had no idea how to fly the complex piece of machinery, his eyes instead honed on a computer screen built into the dashboard. They would need documentation and he was working on creating credible identification for himself and Raven.

"Saying, just like that . . . it suggests there were never problems before she left," Garfield told him softly, glancing up from the monitor.

"You're right . . . and I shouldn't be talking with you about it anyway. It's wrong of me." Steve sighed softly, glancing back where Rita still glowered, Raven beside her, dozing lightly. "She's a strange one, Raven."

"What do you mean?"

"Exactly what I said. She's strange."

"She's unique," Gar told him with a wan smile. "I've never known anyone like her . . . there isn't anyone that comes close."

"Rita used to tell me that you . . . are very fond of her." Steve glanced down at the computer screen, shaking his head. Gar had pulled up the templet for a marriage license, carefully filling out each blank space.

"I am. I always have been."

"Son . . . I think you're going to be a great father. I really do. I just want to make sure you know, you can be a great father without being in a relationship with the mother of your child."

"I know that. I want to be with Rae. It has nothing to do with the baby."

"I am friendly with some of the best lawyers in the US. Just say the word and I promise you, you'll have full custody of your daughter."

"Did you hear what I just said? I love Raven. I want to be with her."

"What happened to that one girl you told me about? The one that was always smiling?" Mento waited, but the changeling said nothing, his lips pulled into a frown. "Seems like she was blonde, had a tan . . . you talked about her a good bit with Rita, I recall."

"That was a long time ago." Green eyes never moved away from the monitor, his fingers still typing.

"She just sounds like the type of girl you would be into . . . that was meant for you. Someone that's always smiling and tan. It's better than deadpan with a complexion that would look more at home on a corpse."

"Yeah? Well, that tan, smiling girl? All those smiles were a lie! She was a lie. Raven is real. She's honest. I earn every smile, but I know without any doubt that it's sincere because of it. She makes me want to be the very best version of myself. She makes me want to learn and grow and push at my own boundaries. And she doesn't look like a corpse. She's like the moon on a cloudless night. She's beautiful." Silence hung between father and son for several minutes, then Steve chuckled softly.

"You do love her."

"Yes, I really do."

"You've become a man, Garfield. A man that I'm proud to say I had a hand in molding." The elder hero laughed again, patting the changeling lightly on the shoulder. "I won't speak ill of your . . . wife again."

* * *

Raven sat in the Jeep, her arms crossed and resting on the swell of her stomach, frowning. The road was bumpy and dusty, her lungs feeling irritated from both the soil the tires kicked up and the diesel fuel. She glared at the blonde man in the driver's side seat. He was smiling serenely, his green eyes scanning the dirty road and the surrounding brush. Eventually he felt her stare and darted his eyes in her direction.

"What is it Rae?" His smile mellowed some at her harsh expression. Her eyes, now a dark blue with her holoring on, narrowed. There was plenty to complain about. She was hungry, despite the fact she was also suffering from heartburn. The humid air that hung in the Jeep made her feel sweaty and even more uncomfortable. Bug was kicking insistently at her bladder and it was a miracle she hadn't lost control and peed herself.

"You shouldn't have just picked a name for me," she grumbled, her eyes moving away from Gar to gaze out the window. She wished he would have discussed their destination with her beforehand as well. If she had known where they were going ahead of time she would have insisted against it.

"You were resting. I just thought . . ."

"Rachel Jewel Logan . . . do you think you're funny?"

"What's wrong with the name?"

"Firstly . . . Jewel?"

"I did Jem with a "j" first, but I thought you wouldn't like that. So I changed it."

"You changed it to another word that means gem. Why would you pick a name to remind me of what I really am? What I almost did to the world?" The empath was still looking out the passenger side window, her eyes honed on a small herd of antelope that were grazing near the road. The opened grassland they were passing was lovely and she couldn't help but appreciate it, even as she argued with her partner.

"It's to remind us of what you overcame. What we went through together. It's owning it. You aren't Trigon's gem . . . you're my jewel." Raven rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"And you only named me Rachel so you could still call me Rae all the time, didn't you?"

"Yes," he answered immediately and unabashedly. "You still get to call me Gar. Just keeping it fair."

"We shouldn't have come here," she muttered, turning to look at him once more.

"No one is going to look for us here. Who would even think to look here?" This was only part of the reason the changeling had picked his homeland as the place they fled to. It was obscure and remote, but more so it felt safe to him. It was and had always been his home.

* * *

The large, simple wood and iron gate was only slightly rusted, Garfield grunting with effort as he pushed the swinging gate aside. It had begun to rain about an hour ago and he was soaked to the bone the moment he had stepped out of the Jeep. The metal squeaked loudly and he motioned for Raven, who had moved into the driver's seat to drive in. Once the Jeep was beyond the fence he pushed it closed again. Rita and Starfire had traveled a different, longer path to reach the reserve. It was highly unlikely that anyone had followed the group, but dividing up and taking different routes would help to create confusion if such a thing had happened. Quickly the changeling scrambled back into the Jeep, pushing wet hair out of his eyes.

"Welcome to Peponi," he told Raven as they passed a faded sign with the word painted in faint green letters. "It means Paradise. Mom named it when her and Dad bought the land, before I was born."

"This is your parent's home," the empath said softly, breaking a little too hard. She knew this place. The small wooden house with the open backyard flanked by thick growth. They shouldn't have come here. "How is it still . . .?"

"Here? My parents put some money aside for its upkeep if something happened to them. It only lasted a few years though. Steve . . . he's been paying for it ever since. He said we could use it as a safe house . . . just like all the others Doom Patrol has . . . but we never came here. It was mostly for me, so it'd be here if I ever . . . wanted to come here." He smiled sadly, blinking away tears. "I haven't seen it since they . . . since I left when I was little," he finished, clearing his throat. He reach behind himself and grabbed an umbrella. "I'll come around so you won't get wet." Gar threw the door open and umbrella in hand moved around to her side of the car, opening the door for her. Together they walked until they were under the low hanging roof of the front porch.

"Gar . . . I have to tell you something." The man beside her didn't seem to be listening, digging around in the front pocket of his jeans.

"Stupid key, where are you? It's weird . . . I've been dreaming of this place a lot lately."

"What?" Raven asked, looking up at him.

"I've been dreaming of Peponi. It started right before you got pregnant actually."

"What did you dream?" She asked a bit too harshly.

"I dunno. About you and me being here sometimes. Sometimes I would dream about when I was little . . . about my mom. I even dreamed that my Beast was out in the jungle running around." He finally pulled a small key from his pocket, his eyes on the empath's face. "You look pale Rae. Are you okay?"

"I . . ." He had been dreaming of this place too. Had she wondered into his dreams on accident? Or where these dreams they were somehow sharing?

"Come on, you should sit down." The door swung open and he ushered her inside. The air in the house was slightly stale, but it was tidy and free of dust, clearly still occasionally cleaned. Gar led her to a couch, its fabric tan with a somewhat tacky southwestern pattern running in horizontal lines. "It's amazing how well Cy's holorings work! How does it know you should be looking more pale?" He shook his head and stooped down to look at her more closely. "Why are you looking so pale? What's going on?"

"I just . . ." She should tell him, but she just shook her head. They were here now and Steve had already left. There wasn't anywhere else to go. "I think I'm just tired and . . . a little overwhelmed. I'll be fine."

"Raven," he took her clammy hand into his own. "You're safe now. We're safe, okay? We can just take it easy and wait for Bug to be born."

"Okay," she murmured, though something in the pit of her stomach told her it wasn't true.


	23. Home

23)

Home

"Hey, get up." Raven opened one eye, glaring at the owner of the annoying voice near her ear. "Come on, we're actually going to do something today."

"I've been doing something every day." With effort the empath rolled over in the bed, pulling the thin blanket over her head.

"Come on Rae, we haven't left the house in over a week. I'm going stir crazy." The mattress shook slightly as he sat down, pulling the blanket off of her.

"Garfield! I'm trying to rest. And you have miles of reserve to run around on. Leave me alone."

"It's almost noon. It isn't like you to just lay around. Getting up and moving will make you feel better." She had been feeling poorly since they had arrived in Tanzania, both physically and emotionally. At first she was convinced she had some exotic illness, but it was becoming clear the stress and physical toll of the pregnancy were affecting her heavily.

"I don't want to."

"I'll make you pancakes," he told her in a sing-songy voice close to her ear.

"No."

"With blueberries."

"Stop," she grumbled.

"We have chocolate chips too if you'd prefer."

"I'd prefer if you'd just leave me alone."

"Raven," he growled playfully and nipped at her ear. "I'm not leaving you alone until you get out of that bed." Again he gave her earlobe a sharp nip and the empath swatted him away with a disgruntled sigh.

"Fine, I'm up."

Ten minutes later pancakes with both blueberries and chocolate chips were cooking on the stove top. Raven sat at the kitchen table, the chairs mismatched, but unique, each hand painted. Marie Logan, Gar's mother had loved to paint and draw in her free time and had decorated much of the wooden furniture herself. The empath sat in the chair with swirling patterns of blue and purple, her elbows resting heavily on the table as she watched the changeling cook. The smell of food had drawn Starfire into the room as well and she settled on the slightly cracked countertop.

"We have none of the mustard," she said to no one in particular, looking down on the growing pile of pancakes.

"Sorry Star, I guess you'll have to make due with maple syrup. But on the off chance I see mustard while me and Rae are out I'll be sure to grab you some." He flipped the pancake expertly, humming happily to himself. "Hey Raven . . . what do you call it when a guy flips his pancake too early?"

"Oh Azar, not a joke."

"Just say what."

"What?" She asked with a weary sigh.

"Premature flap jack-ulation!" Despite herself Raven chuckled softly, rolling her eyes. "As you can see I don't have that problem." He flipped the pancake one final time before tipping the frying pan and dumping the pancake onto the pile. "I never flip until the pancake is hot and completely ready for the flip."

"You're disgusting."

"And funny," he added, cutting the stove eye off.

"On rare occasion."

"I do not understand. How is this funny?" Starfire asked as she floated to the kitchen table. Both her friends laughed, but refused to explain.

* * *

"Where are we going?" Raven asked for the fourth time as she rubbed at her middle. The vibration from the Jeep seemed to either irritate or excite Bug and she was moving nearly constantly.

"You'll see," Garfield replied, just as he had every time she asked.

"What's in the boxes?" She queried, looking over her shoulder to the two large crates that sat in the back seat.

"Be patient, Mpenzi. We're almost there."

"How can we almost be anywhere? We've been driving for over an hour and all we've seen are trees, bushes, and the occasional animal."

"I know, it's beautiful, huh?"

"Yes," she admitted softly. It was very beautiful and being so remote did give the empath a certain sense of security. They were in the middle of nowhere, the idea that anyone could track them down felt less likely with each passing day.

"Here we are." The Jeep came to a stuttering stop and Raven looked around.

"What is it?"

"It's market day. It's just like I remember it."

The market was in a large dirt clearing, small booths scattered here and there as people milled about. Children ran about as they played, a few adults casting curious glances at the only vehicle as the couple climbed out. Garfield stretched, then headed toward the back of the Jeep, popping open the first crate, smiling as he looked down inside. Raven joined him, giving him a questioning glance as she studied the contents.

"Shoes?"

"Shoes." He agreed with a nod, sitting the crate on the ground and grabbing the second one. "Mom and Dad used to come to market day once a month with something for the community. Shoes were always welcome. See, most of the kids don't have them at all."

"I see." The vast majority of the children that ran in the hot sand were shoeless.

"Bure viatu!" Gar shouted suddenly, drawing even more attention. A few of the locals drew closer, studying the pair. A woman in her late thirties approached, her eyes wondering to the side of the Jeep where Garfield had stenciled the word "Peponi" on the door, much like an older, broken down Jeep that sat beside the house, slowly falling apart.

"Logan?" She asked and Beastboy nodded enthusiastically.

"Ndiyo! Yes!" This seemed to brake the tension and soon children were clamoring all over, excitedly accepting a pair of sandals from the crate. Raven watched from a distance as Gar, seeming just as excited as the children that gathered around him, handed out shoes and the nutrient bars that had been in the second box. She watched as he lowered himself to his knees as he helped a young boy fasten his new shoes and something stirred in her heart. This man that stooped in the dirt, smiling brightly was who he would have been had he never gotten sick. If he'd never become Beastboy. He would have still been a hero, a champion for good. In ways that would never be front page news, in ways the world would deem small. But looking at the happy, beaming faces, Raven knew the good he was doing was larger than life here. This was a place where anyone with a kind heart could be a super hero and that knowledge moved her. She moved closer to the Jeep again, watching as the changeling loaded his empty crates into the back seat once more.

"You look so like your father," the woman that had recognized him said and his entire face lit up with joy.

"Thank you," he replied, turning his head so she wouldn't see the tears that had formed in his eyes.

"Garfield, I want to stay," Raven told him softly, a wan smile turning her lips upward.

"Don't worry, we'll look around before we go. I doubt there's any mustard but we might . . ."

"No, I . . . I want to live here. I want to stay at Peponi. There's so much we can do to help and we can do it as ordinary people. We can make a difference."

"Rae, I . . . are you sure?"

"I know you want to."

"Of course I want to, but we don't have to."

"You promised me a house anywhere I wanted Garfield Logan. Why wouldn't I chose paradise?"


	24. Desperation

24)

Desperation

"It's two in the morning . . . how can it still be so hot at two in the morning?" Raven was sprawled out on the lumpy bed that had once belonged to Beastboy's parents and was now her own. The blanket that had been covering the bed and the bodies within it had been kicked down until it tumbled to the floor. The empath could not recall ever being as consistently uncomfortable as she had been in the last week and for the first time she felt herself eager for her child to be born, if for no other reason than to find some relief.

"Want me to cut the fan on?" Her bedmate questioned sleepily, pulling his knees up a little closer to his chest. It was not nearly as hot as Raven seemed to think it was.

"All that does is move the hot air around."

"I'll get you something cold to drink," he offered, but she shook her head.

"Even water gives me heartburn."

"A cool bath? I'll run the water."

"I don't want to move," she whined. Her eyebrows bunched together and she sighed loudly. Whining was not something she had done before and she didn't care for the way it tainted her voice. "I'm sorry, I'm not being very reasonable."

"That's alright. You can be unreasonable." Garfield sat up, his back resting against the headboard.

"I don't want to be pregnant anymore."

"I know you're uncomfortable Rae. You actually could go into labor any day now, does that make you feel better?"

"No." With some effort she rolled onto her side to face him, wincing when the movement made the infant within her kick suddenly. "Anything in your books about triggering labor?"

"Ummm . . . a few things. I think most of it's unproven though." Lightly he caressed his fingers over her forehead, pushing her sweat dampened hair aside.

"I'll try anything."

"Well, we can go for a nice long walk in the morning. That's supposed to help the baby move down and the pressure might help trigger labor. Then I suppose we could have something spicy for lunch. I know the heartburn's an issue, but if you can tolerate it . . ."

"I said anything, didn't I?"

"You did," he chuckled softly. "So a spicy dish for lunch and then another walk. Then we'll come back to the bedroom and make love and then . . ."

"Make love?"

"You said anything. Sex can help trigger contractions."

"I'm miserable already Garfield. The last thing I want is your sweaty body clamoring all over me."

"Yeah, it'd probably be easier if you were on top." Raven felt her face heat up at the suggestion. "Or actually . . . from behind would probably be easiest. We'll get some pillows to help prop you up and I'll . . ."

"Stop, we're not having sex." Her face felt like it might burst into flame.

"Suit yourself." The changeling laughed lightly. "Just trying to help."

* * *

Five days later Raven was beginning to reconsider her stance on sexual intimacy. The days crawled by, every minute seeming to stretch out into intolerable misery. Every morning she walked for as long as her stamina would allow and each meal was unpleasantly spicy. She soon forgot what it had been like not having heartburn. Rita had suggested the empath try castor oil in an attempt to stimulate labor. The goop had tasted horrible and had done nothing but irritate Raven's bowels. As each hour crawled by the heavily pregnant woman felt the desperation grow. Bug needed to be born before Christmas Eve. The stigma of being a demon's daughter would be bad enough, but to be of demon linage and born on the twenty-fourth of December? She couldn't stand the idea.

* * *

"It's getting late," Raven murmured as she entered the small bedroom that had been Gar's when he was a boy. The changeling was standing in front of a bookcase, his eyes roaming over children's books and a few toys that still sat upon the wooden shelves.

"Yeah," he agreed heavily, his fingers reaching out to touch a green dinosaur, his lips twisting into a wistful smile. "I told Mom once that I wanted to be a dinosaur when I grew up." Sadness wafted from him faintly and a pale hand moved to stroke over his arm in comfort.

"They would be proud of you."

"Maybe."

"They would be proud Gar." She was not accustom to comforting others, but it didn't feel as strange as she had expected it to when she moved to stand in front of him, letting her palm settle on his cheek. Her thumb ghosted over his skin and his head shifted into her touch.

"I stopped thinking about what I wanted to do with my life a long time ago. Ever since they died . . . I've been like a leaf in the wind." He turned his head and kissed at her palm briefly before pulling it away from his cheek so he could gently worry his index finger across the skin. Like a palm reader he traced the faint lines, his eyes seeming to study the patterns intently. "I don't know what I want to be when I grow up."

"Are you suggesting you're actually going to grow up?" She quipped and his smile grew at her attempt at breaking the tension.

"I'm considering it."

"You can be anything you want to be. You don't have to decide right away. Think about it, what do you love?"

"I love you and I love Bug." He chuckled as she blushed lightly.

"I know," she breathed, shifting slightly closer. This was the reason she had sought him out. It was December twenty-second and she was desperate. "I . . . have never felt more tolerant of anyone than I do you."

"That's sweet Rae." He shook his head, one shoulder raising slightly into what was nearly a shrug.

"The closest thing I've ever felt to affection, I felt for you." She offered, pushing on despite her uncertainty with expressing herself. To his credit, the changeling seemed to be taking the words as she meant them, as sincere sentiments. "I like the way . . . I like the way you touch me. I know I shrug away and flinch, but I do like it." Again her hands moved to touch his face, her fingertips upon his jaw. "I like to lay close to you at night. I like that your skin is warm and that even when you're asleep you hold me." Her fingers crept higher and she let her right hand explore the soft hair at his temple before she drifted even higher, her thumb and forefinger experimentally caressing up the edge of his long ear.

"Raven . . ."

"I think you're very handsome Garfield. In fact I've never honestly felt . . . any sort of real sexual attraction for anyone accept you."

"You trying to seduce me Rae?" He asked a little breathlessly, his eyes closing as she rubbed at his ear with a bit more pressure.

"Yes." She whispered, biting lightly at her lip in self-doubt. "I'm probably not doing . . ." Suddenly she was against his chest, his mouth hungrily feasting upon her lips. Raven made a surprised sound, the startled yelp giving way to a pleased groan a moment later. She hadn't felt particularly aroused just a second ago, but that was rapidly changing. Hot, green hands were suddenly everywhere, his body slowly maneuvering her to the small bed against the wall. The empath tried to protest, they were in the room that Starfire slept in at night, but everything was happening so rapidly and her thoughts were cloudy. She found herself reclined on the bed with no recollection of being lowered to the mattress. Her lips felt swollen and slightly irritated by the time his mouth wondered away.

"I've wanted you forever . . . for as long as I knew what it was to want like this . . . it's always been you Rae, it's always been you." The words were muffled and rushed, his lips never completely lifting from her skin as he worked his way down her neck.

"Gar!" She hadn't intended to say his name so loudly and had been planning on insisting they retreat to their own room, but his hands had found their way under her shirt, his thumbs thrumming over nipples that were already hypersensitive.

"Wewe ni wangu." The words were a deep growl, his teeth nipping firmly at the skin of her throat. His hands kneaded gently as this thumbs continued to roll her tender flesh, wetness suddenly dribbling from the over stimulated glands. Raven's first inclination was to be embarrassed, but her partner's sudden and powerful sensations of pride and desire made it impossible. She was prepared and well equipped to feed his young and the animal in him found this fact beyond pleasing. Impatient hands darted downward, pulling at her pants.

"Wait," she managed to pant, again trying to voice her concern about moving somewhere where the risk of being interrupted was far less likely. The green ear closest to her twitched slightly, but his mind seemed too consumed with what was happening to process the word. "Gar . . . we should . . ." The words died in her throat, her head falling back against the bed suddenly. The changeling had wasted no time in getting her pants down past her knees, taking her underwear along with the black leggings she wore. The moment the annoying fabric was gone, his fingers returned to the junction of her thighs, his other hand encouraging her knees to bend so he could better see the most intimate part of her.

"God, you're beautiful," he whispered dreamily, his eyes following the movement of his index finger as he traced her folds. His tongue, startlingly pink against his dark green lips, darted out briefly, his focus shifting momentarily to her face to judge her reaction and then to her neck. Without warning he lunged forward, his face burrowing into the crook of her neck, his mouth rooting insistently until his teeth found their usual spot upon her flesh. He bite down firmly, two fingers plunging deeply into her opening at the same moment. Raven cried out, forgetting that they were not alone in the small house, her words a jumbled mix of English and Azarathian. Pale fingers tangled in green hair, rounded hips shifting impatiently. Why had she insisted they wait so long to do this? She couldn't fathom why she would resist the delectable upward spiral his pumping fingers were causing. She'd never imagined her body could feel such pleasure. Raven's toes were curling, her eyes tightly shut as she felt herself hover at the very edge of climax. And then suddenly a contraction hit her hard. The encouraging hum she had been making turned into a whine and Garfield pulled away immediately, eyes wide with concern.

"Great," she groaned, the pained word only partly sarcastic.

"Did I bite too hard? Did I . . ."

"Contraction," the empath muttered, her eyes opening slowly. She made a soft sound that was nearly a laugh as the contraction ended. It seemed that Bug would be born before Christmas Eve after all.


	25. Labor Pains

25)

Labor Pains

Labor was nothing like Raven had expected it to be. Most of her perceptions about the process came from television and movies, where there were a lot of screaming mothers and fainting fathers. The process was always made to seem like a relatively quick and consistently painful one as well. None of this seemed to be true to life. Labor was not fast at all. It took hours. And at first it wasn't as painful as Raven had feared. She even managed to sleep for a little while during the early morning hours. As the sun rose the young mother found herself restless and she walked around the house, pausing and leaning heavily on Gar whenever a contraction overwhelmed her. The house was silent, both Rita and Starfire ready to assist, but staying a respectable distance away until they were needed. For several hours the empath walked aimlessly about the living room, until mid-afternoon when her contracts started to come more quickly. Sitting caused uncomfortable pressure and pain in her back, so she remained standing, her arms around Garfield's waist. They often swayed together, the side to side movement soothing. In the moment it didn't matter that one or both of the women occasionally came into the living room and saw her clinging desperately to the changeling. All thoughts of embarrassment had left her mind.

"You're doing great, just breathe," he encouraged softly, gentle fingers soothing through her tangled hair. "You're doing so great Rae."

"It's too quiet. I need something to focus on," she muttered, her head resting heavily on his chest.

"We can chant." They had repeated her mantra together for nearly three hours straight earlier.

"No . . . something new. Sing or read or something." Slowly the pair swayed, his arm moving to wrap around her shoulders in support as her arms tightened around his midsection again. By the time Raven's contraction ended Rita had appeared with a small book and had disappeared into the kitchen again. Gar's arm left her briefly as he opened the book and flipped through it.

"Here we go," he told her, his arm returning, the book in one hand and held out just behind her shoulder. "Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary . . ."

"Gar . . . not "The Raven" . . . it isn't funny."

"Sorry, Mpenzi." He hadn't meant for it to be funny, he honestly thought she would enjoy the poem. He flipped to the next poem in the book and began to read. "It was many and many a year ago, in a kingdom by the sea, that a maiden there lived whom you may know, by the name of Annabel Lee . . ." A contraction came and for a moment she could focus on nothing but the pain, but she struggled to tune into his soft voice again. "I was a child and she was a child, in this kingdom by the sea, but we loved with a love that was more than love . . ." On he read, the vibration of his chest soothing even when she couldn't focus quite enough to hear the words.

* * *

Time stopped making sense. The world was askew and spinning backwards, that had to be the only explanation. How else could a few short hours become a lifetime? Raven was beginning to feel rather certain that Bug was never going to be born and she would be stuck in this painful and exhausting limbo for eternity. The contractions never seemed to end now, the break in-between stupid Gar kept talking about practically nonexistent. He had no idea what he was talking about and if not for the fact he somehow managed to be the only solid and real thing that seemed to exist beyond the pain she would have told him to go away. She clutched at him harder, even as she hissed cruel things in his ear. It was her own language at least and he had no idea what she was saying. Standing had become too difficult, too tiring and she'd been forced to recline for a while. It made her back scream pain, but her legs were like jelly. So she sat in the changeling's lap for a couple hours, her arms and legs wrapped around him to ensure she didn't lose purchase and end up alone in her painful void. Though she couldn't recall the last time she'd actually eaten, she managed to vomit all over him just as the sun disappeared beyond the horizon. He was kind enough to at least pretend he didn't care, simply stripping off his shirt and giving the soiled garment to Rita, who brought a warm washcloth for him and a cool one for Raven's forehead. The empath instantly mistrusted the offered linen, or more so the woman who was offering it. The last time she had brought the washcloth she had made Raven move from her, if not comfortable, at least tolerable position. She made her lay down so she could check her progress. On a normal day Rita Farr was a fine enough woman, but Raven did not want her fiddling between her legs, necessary or not. And she had given the older woman her best four eyed death glare to ensure she knew it. If Rita had been afraid she certainly hadn't shown it, smiling instead and saying things that the emapth assumed were supposed to make her feel better. Things like eighty percent effaced and thinned cervix and six centimeters dilated.

"Rae, let's lay back for a minute so . . ." Just as she had suspected, she was going to have to endure the unreasonable expectations of moving, laying, and allowing this stranger to poke around in a place she didn't belong.

"No," she grumbled, tightening her hold, her finger nails biting into his skin.

"I'll be really quick Sweetie, I promise . . . we just need to . . ."

"Later," Raven insisted, hiding her face against the green neck before her.

"It'll be time to get a midwife soon. We don't wanna wait until it's too late. Come on Rae, just for a minute." She never actually gave her consent, she couldn't speak through the contraction that swelled a millisecond after the changeling had pleaded his case, but her lack of comment against the examination was apparently enough, for she found herself on her back a moment later. Rita was very quick, prodding about for only a handful of seconds before she pulled away again.

"Still six centimeters, but more like ninety-five percent effaced. It's some progress, but she's been in active labor for about five hours now."

"The book said active labor could take up to ten hours," Gar replied, gently helping Raven sit up again and gathering her into his arms.

"It can, but it usually doesn't. I think I saw a stethoscope in your dad's study. I'm going to grab it and see if I can get a fetal heart rate, just to make sure Bug is holding up well."

"Okay." He nodded slightly, chewing on his bottom lip anxiously.

* * *

Rita grabbed the Titan communicator she'd been given when she'd come to stay in the Tower full time, flipping it open as soon as she shut the door behind her. She pressed a couple buttons and the yellow communicator lit up, the screen filling with static for a moment before Cyborg's face appeared. He was wearing his holoring she noted, his face seemingly void of it electronic panels.

"This isn't the best time," he greeted, looking impatiently back at her.

"Raven's in labor."

"Great, and?" he prompted, his eyes darting away from the communicator to look at something in the distance.

"And it seems to have stalled somewhat. I'm not a doctor . . . but I'm concerned. What was Bug's heart rate during your last exam?"

"What?" His eyes had wondered away again, a frown creasing the corners of his mouth.

"Bug's heart rate?"

"It was one-forty-eight."

"Is everything alright Victor?" Rita asked after a moment, grabbing up the stethoscope that still sat on the desk.

"Fine," he clearly lied. "Just worry about Raven and Bug. Everything's fine."

* * *

Victor Stone stood on the street corner, hands shoved in his pockets, his left hand still clutching lightly at his Titan communicator. The crowd that had started to congregate was being pushed back by a simple police blockade. Downtown was bustling with the usual last minute shoppers and most paid little attention to the yellow police tape. There was little to grab their attention, with the twinkling Christmas lights and the flashing shop window displays everywhere. There was nothing particularly interesting about the slick tape or the rather boring looking metal box that sat upon the sidewalk. Even the police that guarded the strange electronic device didn't seem overly concerned. They were waiting on the K9 units to arrive on the scene and until then there seemed no real reason to be worried.

"Victor." A familiar voice greeted softly, a dark haired man coming to stand beside him, his blue eyes squinting to study the metal box that stood nearly five feet high. "What's happened so far?"

"A whole lot of nothing. They don't seem to realize it's a bomb yet," the taller man said the last few words in a whisper, shaking his head.

"Are you certain?"

"Seriously? Of course I'm sure Rich, I wouldn't have called you all the way out here if I wasn't."

"Is it on a timer?"

"No, I don't think so . . . a remote trigger probably. I'd have to get a closer look to know for sure," he sighed loudly. "Should we offer to help?"

"The authorities have made it abundantly clear that they don't want us around anymore. There's no point in revealing ourselves . . . they won't accept our assistance."

"We can't just stand here and do nothing, Man."

"Do you think it doesn't kill me? Do you think I want to just walk away? We don't have any choice Victor. They won't accept our help. We would have to fight against them to even have a chance to help." Richard pushed a hand through his hair, his blue eyes closing for a long minute.

"It's an option."

"What is?"

"Fighting them."

"We're going to fight the whole of JCPD? Just the two of us?"

"You know we could."

"At what cost? We'd be labeled criminals."

"We already are, aren't we?" Large shoulders lifted in a shrug. "Doing what's right . . . that's what matters. Downtown is overflowing with people and that's a big damn bomb. The loss of life . . . if we can stop that . . . we should."

"Doing what's right," he repeated softly, nodding. He had thought earnestly that he could spend his superhero career working with law enforcement. He didn't want to slink about in the shadows, labeled a nuisance despite the good he was doing. He didn't want to be like Bruce. Yet, doing what was right . . . it should always be the most important thing. And he knew what was right. "I guess we're fighting then."

"Hell yeah."

* * *

"Raven, did you hear me Sweetie?" Rita's voice was dripping with honey, the sound a sure sign she was feeling uncertain. The empath gave no indication she had heard the elder woman's soft words, the palms of her hands pressed over her closed eyes. The bare heels of her feet pressed firmly into the cushioned fabric beneath her. She wasn't sure if it was the couch or the bed anymore. There were vague memories of Gar carrying her to the bed some time ago, but she could have imagined it. Nothing seemed completely real anymore . . . other than the pain and pressure low in her midsection.

"Rae . . . it's about time now. Bug is gonna be here really soon." His voice was close to her ear.

"You . . . said that . . . an hour . . . ago." Raven accused breathlessly, moving one hand so she could glare at the face hovering over her own.

"I know, but you're practically fully dilated. You can start pushing anytime now. Rita and Star are going to get the midwife." The empath grunted and covered her eye again. She wanted to roll onto her side, but shifting made her back scream in pain, so she curled her toes and bit her lip until it bled instead.

"I have the map. Star and I will be as quick as we can."

"Sister, I am going to fetch your wife of the middle now, do you understand?" Starfire was leaning too close to her now and Raven grunted, not bothering to move. "I want most honestly not to leave your side, however Friend Rita does not speak the regional language. You do understand, correct?"

"Yes." Raven hissed, knowing Starfire wouldn't stop pestering until she received a response.

"And you do understand that the contact with Friend Garfield's lips that I am about to initiate is solely so that I can . . ."

"Yesss!" She wailed in frustration and pain. "Azar! Sleep with him if you have to! Just get the midwife now!"

"I do not believe we have the time to sleep, Raven." Star replied softly, Rita pulling her away as pale hands flailed out as if to hit the naïve woman that had been hovering above her. There was some muttering and a soft sound of the door closing and she and Gar were alone.

"It won't take long. Just hang in there," the changeling was saying as he settled on the edge of the bed.

"I don't want to do this Gar. I can't do this."

"You're doing so good Rae and you're almost done now."

"I don't want to do this anymore," she repeated around a sob, her arms moving to hug at her middle. Again her heels dug into the mattress. There was so much pressure now. It rivaled the pain in the forefront of her mind.

"I know Mpenzi. We're almost done now, I promise." He stroked a warm hand over her forehead, his fingers combing lightly through her hair. "Just a little longer and you won't ever have to do this again."

"I'm tired."

"Rest if you can." His lips were ghosting over her cheeks, each in turn before his nose touched her own lightly.

"I can't," she murmured, turning her face toward his touch, seeking out the comfort he offered.

"Sometimes there's a little lull between active labor and the urge to push. I bet that's going to happen any minute. The pain will let up a little and your gonna have a power nap. And then the midwife will be here and before you know it . . . you'll be holding our daughter."

"I'm not that lucky," but even as she said it the endless contractions seemed to relent slightly. Heavy eyes closed and she felt herself drifting.

"Looks like your luck's changing. I'm going to get our holorings, okay? Don't want to scare the midwife away, right?" He chuckled softly at the idea.

"Ummm," she sighed in agreement.

"I love you Raven." The words were muttered against her ear as sleep claimed her.

* * *

Seven minutes and thirty-six seconds was exactly how long Raven slept before she was jolted awake. Exhaustion had dulled her senses and it was a sudden, powerful contraction and the urge to push that woke her. The moment her eyes snapped open though, she was aware that something was wrong. Her nostrils were burning from the strong smell of gasoline and her awareness was suddenly full to overflowing with unfamiliar auras. Coughing, she forced herself into a sitting position, her teeth grinding loudly from the effort involved and the pain the movement caused low in her back.

"Garfield?" she choked, already certain she would receive no response. There were dozens of auras in and around the house, but not a single one even faintly resembled the changeling's. With tremendous effort she got to her feet and stumbled toward the closed bedroom door. Leaning heavily on the frame, wheezing from the fumes she pushed the door open. The house was dark and she staggered blindly into the hallway. She had to get outside before the toxic fumes overpowered her. Her head was spinning and she fumbled desperately forward, stumbling and falling to her hands and knees.

"It's so good to see you again, Raven," a male voice said from the darkness and a flashlight flicked on to illuminate a face that was leaning down to smile tauntingly at her. "Do you remember me?"

"Luke," she choked, her eyes burning and watering, but still able to recognize the man before her. "Why?"

"Why not?" His smile grew and he reach out a hand as if to help her up. "Midnight is only fifteen minutes away, Daughter of Trigon. Christmas Eve is nearly here."

"Please . . ." she tried to retreat from him, turning as if to crawl back into the house.

"Don't be foolish. You'd die in here. Let me help you." He reach down and grabbed her left ankle, beginning to drag her down the hallway and toward the beaded curtain that billowed slightly in the wind. She could see firelight behind it and could hear singing. "A new day is about to begin. A new day, a new world. We're all so lucky to be part of that."

"Trigon isn't . . . kind. He won't make the world better. All he does is destroy," Raven told him helplessly as she was dragged through the door and out onto the grass.

"Oh, I know. I know." He chuckled and shook his head, heading for the driftwood picnic table, hoisting her up and laying her upon it. It seemed it would be an alter in the end after all.


	26. Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve

It was impossible to comprehend the level of joy that wafted through the night air. Bonfires crackled merrily, as men, women, and even children danced and sang strange perversions of Christmas carols. Above the smell of gasoline and burning wood, the faint scent of cooking meat drifted. This was a celebration, what they probably assumed would be the first of many once their holy Lord Trigon began his reign. Raven lay limply upon the cool, smooth table, fighting the urge to bare down. The impulse was strong, stronger than she had ever imagined it being and she knew she was fighting a losing battle. Her body would betray her sooner or later. Her eyes closed tight for a moment as she took a deep breath, jaw clinched in the effort to deny herself the action every fiber of her being screamed for. A warm hand settled upon her brow and her eyes snapped open again to glare up at the smiling face of Priestess.

"Fighting is pointless. It's always been pointless. All your struggles meant absolutely nothing, from the very beginning." A soft laugh tumbled from red lips. "You've played your part just as it was laid out for you. Your fate, my fate, and even that of the green dog that follows you around . . . they've always been intertwined . . . leading us all to this very moment."

"Where is he?" Raven managed to demand, her hands clinching into fists.

"Your dog? I'm sure he'll be along shortly. He still has a part to play, one just as important as your own." Long fingers curled into the emapth's hair, jerking her head to face the reviling masses. "For now, just enjoy the show." A dozen followers were lighting make shift torches from the bonfires, approaching the house that had stood, whole and untouched for decades. Tears filled Raven's eyes as they lay the torches to the wood and the structure began to smoke and smolder before the flames blazed to consume it. Laughter rang in her ears as she watched his past and their dreams of the future disappear. Paradise was burning.

* * *

After years of fighting supervillians it was ridiculously easy to overpower a couple dozen police officers who seemed reluctant to actually engage with the two ex-Titans. After the decision had been made that they had to get to the bomb, no matter what, it had only taken about ten minutes of fighting before Cyborg and Robin were stooped beside the metal box, the cybernetic man carefully cutting his way into the cube in the hopes of exposing the mechanics within.

"It's more complex than I've seen in a really long time," Cyborg muttered as he pulled aside the piece he had cut away. "Definitely remote trigger."

"Can you defuse it?" Robin asked, bo staff twirling in threat as two officers dared to slink closer in an attempt to regain control of the situation.

"It'll take some time, but yeah . . . pretty sure I can."

"We have no idea how long we have," the dark haired man reminded gruffly.

"I'm going to work as fast as I can, but it doesn't change the fact that . . ." a loud buzzing sound cut through the din of late afternoon traffic, the electronic billboards flashing and flickering before each showed the smiling face of a woman, her eyes dancing with malevolent mirth.

"Citizens of Jump City . . . Merry Christmas! I'm certain downtown is bustling with last minute shoppers right now. Greed and false sentiment have become your new religion after all. You are all so lost . . . just mindless sheep following popular culture and blind gossip. Voices whispering with no knowledge of the truth." She laughed and the camera panned out to show the scenery surrounding the woman. She was dressed in white, a billowing tunic that brushed against the grass at her feet. Upon her head she wore a thin crown of woven branches, small antlers jutting from either side. Behind her a house was burning, the yellow flames throwing light against the night. "I have to offer thanks to you this night . . . citizens of Jump. Your fear and hatred have made all of this possible." She walked forward, the camera following her until it moved away to focus on a form that lay upon a slab of wood.

"Raven!" Robin gasped in horror, Cyborg looking up to see the image upon the screen. The empath lay sprawled over the wood, her arms tied over her head, more for dramatic effect than to keep her affixed to the table.

"Behold! This is the sacrifice you offered to my Lord . . . the God you will kneel to this very night . . . the God that will judge you and find you lacking." Priestess chuckled as she stepped up to the prone figure, caressing a hand down her hair. "This is the Lamb that you drove from your fold. Innocent and pure . . . still one poisoned word was enough for you all. She kept you safe at her own expense time and again. She gave herself wholly and still you hate her. Thank you Jump City . . . for proving just how twisted the world has become. Thank you for making the end of the world possible."

"Can you get a fix on where the video feed is coming from?" Robin demanded, his head shaking in disbelief. How had his team mate ended up alone and at the mercy of this lunatic? Where was Beastboy and Rita? Where was Starfire?

"Already on it," the eldest Titan replied, eyes honed on his upheld arm and the open panel upon it. "It's . . . they're somewhere in Tanzania."

"Africa?"

"Yeah," the word was sighed deeply, his one organic eye closing. "There's nothing we can do to help."

* * *

He awoke with a start, his entire body jerking violently as a rumbling growl rose from his chest. His heart was thundering in his ears as his left hand moved to claw at his right shoulder where a pin prick of pain hummed. He pulled away the dart that hung from his skin, throwing it down. His fingers trembled and his stomach churned as he lept to his feet. Beastboy shook his head, jarring loose the memory of being attacked, of the burn of a strong sedative. And now he was in the middle of nowhere, alone.

"No," he murmured, suddenly aware that he wasn't alone at all. There was a man, running away. A man that had shot him with a second dart, this one full of something that made his heart jitter madly in his chest. Adrenaline, most likely. He couldn't focus enough to consider such things. His blood was like a swollen river, his lungs gasping as an uncontrolled rage filled his senses. Anger and fear were consuming every fiber of awareness. Something shifted under his skin and within his head. A moment later his humanity had been tossed away like a wool coat on a hot day, unwanted and forgotten. With a deafening roar he gave chase, ready to kill the thing that had dare hurt him. It took only a minute of pursuit before the fleeing man was in his sights and he sped up. In his current form the man was tiny in comparison and overpowering him would be effortless. Closer the hulking mass of green loomed, reaching out a great paw to trip the fleeing thing, watching as the man tumbled to the dirt below, but then he stopped short.

"Please don't kill me, please don't kill me!" The words were just sounds to the Beast and they meant nothing to him. It wasn't the pleading that had given him pause. The wind had picked up and upon it rode scents that pulled his attention away from his cowering prey.

 _ **Mate,**_ his nose screamed to his brain and he lifted his head to breathe more deeply. It was faint, barely there at all. She was not close, but the wind had touched her. The cultist was forgotten as he took several steps in the direction the wind had come from. He was needed back at the den. Mate was at the den, heavy with young. Vulnerable without his protection. He roared into the darkness, running at full speed, following her scent. Nothing would stop him from reaching her. Nothing.

* * *

Raven's fingertips worried at the thick rope around her wrists hopelessly, trying to focus on the task as a distraction from the pressure that demanded her attention. The need to push had grown, she wouldn't be able to fight the urge much longer. It was insistent in much the same way lungs demanded to breathe. It was not negotiable. It was going to happen, even without her consent.

"What shall you name your little abomination?" Luke asked with a lop sided grin. Priestess had wondered away, her camera man following her as she spoke, too far away for the empath to hear. She grunted and ignored the man, just a handful of years older than herself. "Not that it really matters, I guess. I'm sure Trigon won't suffer either of you to live once he arrives."

"He wouldn't suffer anyone to live . . . you and Priestess included." She was breathless, the words raspy and pained.

"I like that you say "wouldn't" . . . as if this isn't happening."

"It isn't happening. All of this . . . it's for nothing. Priestess can't open a portal for Trigon."

"She can. She's read the ancient manuscripts and . . ."

"The books from you father's store? They're old stories, Luke. Nothing more. Works of fiction."

"You're lying. Priestess says we've done everything right. That everything is prepared. All we're waiting on now is midnight," he chuckled and patted at her taunt middle before walking away.

"Now, I know that it's still December twenty-third in California, but that's just a minor detail," Priestess told the gathered masses that stood on the sidewalks of downtown Jump. "It's Christmas Eve here and that means it's time to begin!" She spread her arms wide, her head tilting back for a moment as she laughed. "We're going to drink a toast!" she seemed to be telling her followers. "A toast to Trigon and the new world!"

"All hail Trigon!" the congregation shouted, clapping and cheers thundering through the darkness.

"All hail Trigon," Priestess agreed, motioning for several large coolers to be rolled to the center of the gathering. "You have all been my beloved and faithful followers. You have trusted me and you have been rewarded. Trust me this one final time." The men that had brought the coolers opened the lids, pouring in a powder and stirring it into the cider. "To prove our devotion to Trigon, He demands a sacrifice. To toast him now means death. Just as the caterpillar dies to become the butterfly. Follow me into death so that we can awaken into the new and perfect world!" There was a collective murmur of horror that passed through the crowed city streets as upon the billboards they watched the cultists willingly move to the coolers to fill their cups. One after another in an orderly line they took their portion of death and returned to their place in the circle, waiting.

"This is madness," Cyborg muttered in horror, his team mate nodding in stunned agreement.

"We drink to Trigon, our Lord, Savior of this world that so desperately needs His guidance. We drink to you, Jump City . . . none of this would be possible without you!"

"To Trigon! To Jump City!" the group agreed hardily, eagerly drinking the poison. Moans of pain began to rise from the slowly collapsing collective.

"Trigon demands willing sacrifices. A score to replace the one disobedient begotten daughter who refused to give herself to the task." Upon the ground a hundred mislead followers writhed and began to still. "Next . . . the corruption of a pure heart. In mere moments, the Lion of Yahweh will appear. His hatred and anger will lead him to commit the sin he abhors above all others . . . the taking of life. The predator who eats of the grasses, who loves and values even the smallest life . . . will of his own accord strike me down. And the moment my heart stops beating, well . . . " her smile grew, her face glowing with delight. "I'm sure you all see the Christmas present I left for you. It cost me a small fortune, but you deserve the very best. Once my heart stills . . . there's going to be a very, very large explosion." Cries of fear and panic began to ripple through the crowd. "In killing me, he'll kill all of you. Scores murdered in a moment of rage. Then the portal will open as the granddaughter of Trigon cries out with her first breath."

"Please evacuate the downtown area in an orderly fashion," someone was shouting over a bullhorn, but the request was going unheeded. Panic had set in and the tightly packed assembly began to shove at each other, desperate to escape. In the stores all along main street dozens still shopped, seeming not to have made much note of the chaos beyond the glimmering store fronts. It was a strange mixture of fear and apathy.

"I need you to focus on that bomb," Robin told Cyborg loudly, over the cries of distress. The eldest Titan dropped to his knees again, his head shaking as if to rid itself of the doubt that was gathering. On the billboard above him there was a reverberating howl and he glanced up to see the Beast burst from the surrounding foliage, teeth bared.


	27. Life and Death

27

Life and Death

Beast seemed larger than the last time she saw him, Raven thought fleetingly as tears gathered in the corners of her eyes. It made sense of course, Garfield was a good deal bigger than he'd been the last time he'd given in to the primal core of himself. He seemed to fill the clearing, his chest heaving as he growled, his eyes, void of pupils settling first on her and then the flames that continued to consume his childhood home. A howl of fury rose from him, his eyes now landing on Priestess, who stood in front of the alter, between Raven and himself. Luke had joined her, the last follower alive. He reach to take her hand, but she shook him away.

"We did it Judasa! He'll kill us and then Trigon will . . ."

"Us? No, Lucas . . . this honor is mine alone. I'm the willing sacrifice."

"I've helped you every step of the way, I've been by your side . . . I've loved you with every fiber of . . ." A loud bang interrupted his soliloquy and Luke crumpled to the ground. Priestess glanced down on the antique revolver, nodding in satisfaction.

"You were ruining my moment," she told the lifeless body calmly, her focus again honed on the creature that was now hurdling forward, snarling. She laughed and spread her arms wide in acceptance, head tipping back.

Priestess, who had renamed herself Judasa years ago, and who had come into the world with the unnotable name of Sarah Fitzgerald, knew practically nothing about animals. Most certainly, she knew absolutely nothing about the singular animal that was baring down on her. Had she had even an ounce of knowledge it might not have been as shocking as it was when instead of shredding her to pieces, Beast swatted her aside. The swipe of his paw wasn't gentle, but it by no stretch of the imagination could kill. It couldn't even really be called malicious. She was simply in his way and needed to be moved. The shove knocked her to her hands and knees, where she stayed for a handful of seconds, trying to comprehend exactly what had just happened. When she stood again she saw that the great, green creature was bent over the table, his teeth gently working at the ropes that held Raven.

"Hey! I did that! I'm the one that hurt her!" Beast didn't so much as flick an ear in her direction. "Hey! You stupid dog! I turned the city against her! I destroyed your home, your very lives." The ropes were loose now and massive arms closed around the empath, cradling her against his body. Beast began to rise, ready to flee into the safety of the wilderness all around them, then a sound echoed in the night air. At first Raven thought it was a clap of thunder, but a second later she felt Gar's body jerk.

"No!" Raven cried, realization making her heart clinch nearly as tightly as her midsection.

"Face me! Kill me!" Priestess screamed, waving the pistol she had just shot. Despite the fact she had just fired a round into the furred back, the Beast did not whirl on her. Instead he curled himself more securely around his mate, protecting her. Another shot rang out and then a third.

"Stop!" The empath demanded, weeping as she clutched at the green fur that surrounded her.

"Hate me! Kill me!" The finial bullet in her revolver buried into his broad back, then she threw the empty gun at him. "Hate me!" Rage distorted the woman's face as she lept forward, ready to beat her fists into his already badly injured body. She would force him to fight her, she would make him . . . suddenly hands were grabbing her and Priestess found herself on the ground, green on green eyes burning with all the fury she had hoped to illicit in the changeling.

"You dare cause harm to my sister? To my dear friend?" Orange fingers were bruising the villain's skin, but they loosened after a moment. "You will go to prison. You will pay for the hurt you have caused."

"Kill me," she hissed, spitting up into the alien's face.

"You are not worth killing. You are nothing but an angry woman who wants others to believe she is special. You are not special."

* * *

Everything seemed to be happening so fast. By the time Starfire had subdued Priestess, Gar had fallen back into his natural form. His eyes delved into Raven's for a second before he collapsed. Rita was stooped on the grass beside him a moment later, assessing the damage, her light brown eyes wide in horror. His wounds were severe and blood was soon covering both Rita's lap and the ground. Raven stared at the scene. This couldn't be happening. He couldn't be lying there in the dirt, dying. An insistent contraction and the need to push crashed over her again and a new desperate determination filled her awareness. She had to push. She had to bring Garfield's daughter into the world, because he was leaving it. He was leaving and it was unexceptionable that he depart without seeing her.

Starfire was saying something about timing, about bearing down with the contractions, but Raven wasn't listening. She pushed, her eyes closed tight in concentration. To her credit, the midwife they had brought was taking the strangeness of the situation in stride. There was a baby that needed to be born and that seemed to be what she was focused on, though she had paused to cross herself several times, clearly unsure. She was giving directions in Swahili, Star translating quickly. Raven wasn't really paying attention to either woman's words. Her body knew what it was doing and her soul . . . her soul was driving her in a way she'd never felt before. She had precious few minutes and her focus was unmatched. A new strength coursed through her veins, a second wind and she shoved up and off of the table.

"Sister, what are you doing, you must recline, you must . . ."

"No," it was the best the empath could provide in explanation. She didn't want to lay on the table. With a grunt she squatted beside it, her fingers digging into the smooth wood.

"Raven," Starfire began again, but the midwife spoke and the alien nodded. "She says many women give birth in this manner. She says it is good." The old midwife lowered herself into a sitting position and the Tameranian sat a basin of water beside her. This position was good and just a minute later an excited shout told her that the head was emerging. Thirty seconds later the presser was suddenly gone and a high, warbling cry pierced the night.

The idea that a high pitched screeching could be beautiful was a novel idea to the empath. It was undeniable, however. This keening cry was the most beautiful thing she had ever heard. She collapsed to her knees the moment she was certain the midwife had pulled the infant safely away, panting. There wasn't time to rest and she held her arms out instantly, demanding her daughter. In the glow of the dancing firelight the tiny girl's skin color was difficult to discern Hues of yellow and red flickered briefly, mingling with the faint green glow of Starfire's eyes as she leaned close to study the wriggling form. The conflicting illumination combined with the occasional smear of blood and the thick, white vernix gave the baby a multicolored appearance. Her body was long, as were her limbs, which flailed weakly, her diminutive hands balled into loose fists. The ears on either side of her head were tapered and elongated, her head topped with a surprising amount of dark hair. The warm weight felt so right, so perfect and as Raven looked down on the squirming baby, her heart sputtering. This was love. Not the love she had felt second hand a thousand times over, but real love. Love she felt for another, for her daughter. It was powerful and consuming and she crawled forward quickly, the newborn clutched to her chest.

* * *

Garfield was laying limply against Rita's own chest and there was something deeply poignant about the two mothers, one losing a child as the other welcomed new life into the world. For a moment it appeared the empath had been too late, his prone body showing no sign of life. But then a rattling breath and a twitch of his fingers assured he was still clinging tenaciously to life. Rita brushed her fingers over his cheek and through his hair, whispering his name. He stirred slightly, eyes fluttering before they closed again.

"Gar . . . look . . . look at your daughter," Rita encouraged softly, her eyes twinkling with bittersweet tears as she looked down upon her granddaughter for the first time. Slowly his eyes opened and settled on the form against Raven's chest. His lips twitched and he chuckled, wincing at the pain.

"Beautiful," he whispered in awe. "She's beautiful."

"Name her," Raven demanded, drawing closer to him, pressing the infant to his chest. Weakly, he took the opportunity to nuzzle his nose against the tiny cheek and elongated ear. He breathed her in, commenting the scent to memory.

"I was a child and she was a child . . . in our kingdom by the sea," he murmured as if confused, his eyes moving to look up into Raven's face. "But . . . but we loved with a love that was more than love. God Rae . . . I love you. More than love you both."

"Name your daughter," she insisted, blinking away tears.

"Annabel Lee," he breathed and the empath nodded, a sad smile touching her lips.

"Annabel Lee Logan," Rita whispered softly, dissolving into her own quiet tears. "It's beautiful . . . she's beautiful." Gar's eyes closed again, a rattling breath escaping his slightly parted lips.

"I need you to be okay," the new mother whispered, her fingers lightly brushing against the side of his face.

"I'm . . . sorry," the changeling muttered so softly Raven could nearly believe she imagined the words.

"I need you to be okay," she repeated, her throat burning with sorrow.

"So sorry . . . Rae . . . it's okay . . . it's gonna . . . be okay." Each word was a struggle, his brow furrowed in pain and concentration.

"It's not . . . I . . . it's not okay . . . Gar, I . . ." Her heart felt like it was being torn from her chest, her throat threatening to burst into flame. "Nakupenda," the word tumbled from her lips, her very soul knowing it's meaning. His eyes opened again, dull but aware. Increasingly pale lips turned up into a smile.

"Love . . . you . . . too. Always . . . always . . ." His eyes fluttered closed once more and he grimaced. "Don't . . . be . . . afraid." A long exhale whistled from his nose, nearly like a sigh and he didn't inhale again.


	28. Rebirth

28)

Rebirth

Rita clutched the still form to her chest, weeping into his hair. Raven stared at the scene, shaking her head in denial. He couldn't be dead. She loved him . . . she love him and she wanted to spend her life with him. He had to help her raise Annabelle. He had to change diapers at three in the morning. He had to sing and play silly games with her. It wasn't fair.

"Raven, you are not alone." It was Star's soft voice near her ear, her hand soothing at the empath's tangled hair. "You are not alone."

It wasn't fair.

"No," the pressure was building in her chest.

"I cannot imagine how difficult losing . . ."

"No," she wasn't losing anything. He was not lost. It wasn't fair. Arms were trying to enfold her now and she shrugged them away.

"Please, Sister . . . allow me to . . ."

"No." This was unacceptable. She needed him, his daughter needed him. "No." The heaviness in her chest grew, spreading down her arms. Dark energy began to pool at her fingertips.

"Raven, you are tired. You must rest. Your bumgorf needs tending and . . ."

"Take her."

"Pardon?"

"Hold her," the empath demanded, her body beginning to tremble.

"Of course." A moment later Starfire was cradling the newborn and Raven lurched forward, toward the still form. Rita had already lay the changeling against the grass, distancing herself some from his body, trying to regain some semblance of composer. Gar's aura was flickering in and out of existence, nothing but a dim shadow of what it had once been. His heart had stopped and he was not breathing, but it took several minutes for the mind to stop its activity and until then his soul was earthbound.

"You aren't allowed to die, Garfield. You can't leave me here alone." The words were gruff and demanding and she clutched at his shoulders, shaking him slightly.

"Raven . . . he's already gone," Rita murmured thickly, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand.

"I won't let you leave." The pressure was building, energy crackling across her skin. "I'll heal you."

"Can she?" Rita asked hopefully but Starfire shook her head in the negative, blinking back tears.

"Her healing ability is greatly limited. I believe she is hysterical."

"I can . . . I will." Her pale hand stroked over his blood caked hair, bending to nuzzle her nose against his own. "I can."

"Please . . . you will only exhaust yourself. Sister, you can not bring the dead back to life."

"Come back. Come back to me, Gar." An unnatural wind began to whip in a slowly constricting loop, Star protectively cradling the infant she held closer. Suddenly, black energy bloomed to form a dome around Raven and Beastboy. Like a black snow globe it shifted and swirled, occasionally becoming nearly transparent before thickening again to utter darkness. Rita had scrambled away from the undulating darkness and moved to stand beside Starfire, both staring helplessly at the incredible, but ultimately moot display of magic.

For nearly fifteen minutes the dark energy swirled until, without warning it exploded outward, the waning firelight making the dissipating fragments glitter as they fell to the ground like snow before disappearing. Raven was still on her knees, her violet hair now falling down her back in long waves. What meager clothing she'd been wearing had disintegrated into tattered fragments that were strewn across the grass, her silvery pale shoulders rising and falling rapidly as she panted in exertion. She wavered and then collapsed beside the equally nude form that was sprawled upon the ground, her head coming to rest upon a green chest that beyond all reason was once again expanding with each breath. As she drifted into unconsciousness her balled fist relaxed, four bullets rolling from her palm.


	29. Epilogue

_Epilogue_

* * *

 _Naysayer Exclusive_

 _Jump City's Dark Angel Returns!_

 _Titan Tower's Lights Burning Once More!_

* * *

"You're turning into a chunky little monkey. Yes you are. . . yes you are!" Large green eyes boggled up at the smiling face that hovered above. The baby lifted a chubby hand, reaching for the shiny metal above her before her fingers balled into a fist that she shoved into her mouth.

"Chunky? She's tiny. Are you certain she's okay?" The baby's mother paced behind the examination table, casting a worried glance toward her daughter.

"She's fine, Rae . . . honestly. Her weight is right where it should be, all her vitals are good. And she's such a cutie . . . I could eat 'er up . . . yum, yum, yum!" The cybernetic man gently took the pale fist that wasn't in the baby's mouth in his hand and pretended to chew. Annabel blinked up at her uncle, something that nearly looked like a smile touching her lips. "Okay, Mommy . . . it's your turn."

"I don't need an exam. My body healed itself right after she was born. It's like I was never pregnant at all."

"Still. . ."

"Honestly, Victor. I'm fine," Raven sighed and gently stroked her fingers through her daughter's thick hair. It was the deepest shade of forest green she had ever seen, the strands appearing nearly black until the sunlight hit it just right and it exploded with green hued highlights. "Are you nearly done with her holoring?"

"Yup, just a day or two more. It's a bracelet that she won't be able to slip off. I'll have to adjust the size as she grows, but that just means you have to come visit Uncle Vic." Cyborg smiled brightly, but Raven frowned slightly, picking the infant up and cradling her close.

"I don't want to be here any longer than necessary."

"The mayor publicly apologized and asked us to stay."

"I know," she replied as she bounced the child lightly. "It doesn't matter. I don't want her growing up in this. Knowing how easy the people turn on. . . us."

"I get it," he nodded, looking down on his hands. "Apparently, I'm the only one who wants to stay. Richard's already prowling Gotham and Star . . . she's trying to make things work with him."

"Steel City isn't too far from Gotham and I know Karen would be more than happy to. . ."

"It wouldn't be the same."

"No, but change isn't always a bad thing."

"I'll think about it." He was silent for a long moment, his one organic eye closing. "How did you do it?"

"How did I do what?" The empath had settled in a chair, a baby blanket thrown over her left shoulder, concealing her as she fed Annabel. The tiny girl's toes curled and uncurled as she suckled, the movement reminiscent of a newborn puppy or kitten.

"Both Rita and Kori say he was gone. Dead. How did you . . . bring him back?" Raven sighed loudly, shaking her head.

"Gar's soul was still bound to his body. He wasn't dead. . . not really."

"Okay, so he wasn't completely dead. . . but the guy was shot point blank four times! The damage and blood loss and . . . you healed him."

"He's still recovering," she reminded him unhappily. The changeling was in fact napping in the common room that very moment, still incredibly sore and weakened from the events of the prior week. "Why does it matter?" she added after a moment.

"I mean. . . Raven, you've never been able to heal anything even close to that before."

"I know," the empath muttered, rocking slightly.

"Did your powers. . . have they become stronger?"

"No, nothing's changed."

"Then how?"

"Moments that are highly charged. . . emotionally . . . they trigger something . . . like when I froze time briefly. I don't know how I did it and I doubt I could do it again. What happened with Garfield was similar. My entire being was focused on him and my desire for him to live. The next thing I knew . . ." she trailed off, shifting as her daughter finished her feeding. Raven brought the baby to her shoulder, patting gently.

"Go on," Victor encouraged with a nod, but she simply sighed.

"I can't tell you what happened . . . I barely recall it to be honest. The world fell away and there was nothing but he and I. Then, not even that." Annabel burped wetly and was immediately moved so she was cuddled against her mother's chest once more. "There was no distinction between my soul and his own . . . somehow my perception changed, broadened to encompass Gar."

"Like with Robin, when you. . ."

"No. No matter how far I've gone into someone's mind, I've always been aware of myself. I was always still me, separate from the other person. This time . . . I wasn't. I healed myself, like I always do, no matter how extensive the damage. I healed myself and . . . in that moment, he was me."

"Oh." There seemed nothing more to say and the cybernetic man let the subject go. "You know, things really do change," Victor said with a laugh. "When we all first met, I never thought we'd become the family we are now. And I sure as Hell never thought you and Grass Stain would fall in love."

"Yeah? Well, I always knew we would." Garfield remarked with a chuckle as he limped into the Med Bay, smiling brightly.

"Sure you did," the eldest Titan teased.

"I did. That first morning with the sun in her hair and when she laughed . . . I totally knew." Slowly he made his way over to the woman he had adored for years and their daughter, who was asleep in her mother's arms. His fingertips lightly touched the crook of Raven's neck for just a moment, before they settled on her shoulder. "You always knew it too, didn't 'cha, Mama?" The empath glanced up at him and then down at the angelic infant they had created. She thought back on their years together, the banter and the teasing. His persistence and her reluctance. The slow dance they had been engaged in from the moment they met. Somewhere along the way they had become so entangled that they were inseparable, their singular strands woven into a tapestry, a beautiful picture of the future that lay before them.

"I knew," she said so softly only he could hear. "I knew."


End file.
